Famous Living People I Admire

 

Famous Living People I Admire

 

It is that time of year where we remember all those famous people who have recently passed.  We have lost some good people for sure, but I choose to honor those famous people who are still with us and hopefully will be with us for a long while.

 

FAMOUS LIVING PEOPLE WHOM I ADMIRE

 

I am a bit cautious with this list as many people who I have admired in the past have turned out to be complete asshats.  Most notably Bill Cosby.  I keep in mind that any of these most admirable persons may have a private persona that is the antithesis of deserving admiration.

I start with sports, a category notorious for its share of jerk-weeds:

Aaron Judge – Beyond being a great athlete and a Yankee, Judge just seems like a stand-up guy (and he stands up at six foot seven).  Always a smile, never a bad word about anyone. Judge often plays catch with kids in the stands between innings, he never shows up the pitcher after hitting a bomb of a homerun.  He strikes me as a polite, friendly, gentle giant.

Shaquile O’Neal – Another huge person of an athlete.  Retired as one of basketballs greats, he is successful in business, is very humorous, managing to poke fun at himself in commercials while still maintaining dignity. 

He owns up to mistakes in life, and just seems to have good head on his massive shoulders.

Google “Shaq quotes” to get a feel for this guy…examples:

“I’m a combination of the Terminator and Bambi.”

“If I were a painter, you’d be calling me Shaqcasso.”

Riley Gaines – This young lady is reviled by many for her stance on transgender athletes.  After spending 15+years becoming an elite swimmer, she has taken a stand against six foot four men taking hormones and declaring themselves as women to defeat real women.  It is not just the unfair advantage these trans athletes may have, Riley also objects to their locker room presence…yes, these “women” still are very much male below the waist.

Anyway, right, or wrong, whatever your position on the subject, this young lady is courageous regardless of attempts to cancel her or even cause bodily harm for her opinions.  She is also real cute. (A sexist would say!)

Tough to find anyone in politics, but I found two:

Robert Kennedy Jr. – Much aligned for his position on vaccines, because apparently challenging science is despicable, even though the definition of science:

The systematic study of the structure and behavior of the physical and natural world through observation, experimentation, and the testing of theories against the evidence obtained.

Pretty much requires questioning.  “A fact is anything that has not yet been disproved.”

Anyway, he is willing to go against the grain of his own party, seeks to unite, not divide, and if not for his creaky voice condition might be a successful candidate for President. Plus, I just like the guy!

Senator John Kennedy – Love his down-home country wisdom.  He can cut an opponent off at the knees without them even realizing it.

Just a sampling:

"If you believe that tax policy has nothing to do with the economy, you're pretty much like a rock -- only dumber."

"My attitude is if you hate cops just because they're cops, then the next time you get in trouble, call a crackhead. That's the way I feel about it."

Entertainment:

Dolly Parton – That’s all I have in this category.  Who does not love Dolly?  Super talented and classy in her own country over-the-top non-classy way.  She seems to not let her fame get in the way of ever changing from the same old big-hearted Dolly.

“I don’t mind being called a dumb blonde, cause I know I’m not dumb, and I know I’m not blonde!”

Philosopher –

Tyrus – This ex pro wrestler, body guard turned Fox News philosopher is often spot on with opinions in an always humorous way.  Most of you probably do not know of him…your loss.

World Leader –

Volodymyr Zelenskyy  - This choice may turn out to be the next Cosby, but so far I admire his courage, conviction and love for his country and people.

With Russia heading for Kiev promising to rule the country and eliminate Volodymyr, he was offered safe passage out of Ukraine.  His response,

“I need ammunition, not a ride!”

Actors:

Still looking!

Happy New Year everyone! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Philosopher- Tyrus

World Leader - Volodymyr Zelenskyy

 

 

Actor – NONE

 

Tommy Devito

 

Tommy Devito

My plan has been to only post once a month or so, but this story is too good to wait. 

Non-Sports fans can go now, but you will miss a real feel-good story.

 

The New York Giants Football team is having a less than successful season.  Their number one quarterback was injured early in the season.

Their number two QB was injured soon after.

Enter number three QB, Tommy Devito.

Tommy was an undrafted pick who was on the scrub team.  Typically, in this situation, the scrub QB would finish a game for the number two and the team would find a new back-up for the next game.

The number three Qb’s job is to hand the ball off, not make mistakes and then disappear.

(This is my uneducated estimation of situation, probably totally off base, but bear with me.)

It is not like a number three QB is a bum.  It is just that being a QB in the NFL is such a demanding position that only elite athletes make it to the back up position, the number three guy plays patsy for the defense team in practice.

Tommy Devito is a Jersey kid.  He is not some bum that just happened to get a contract as a number three sub, anyone who makes the sub team in the NFL is an elite athlete, but few undrafted players, as talented as they may be, ever make it big, especially at the quarterback position.

Tommy was a big High School NJ star.  In College, he started for Syracuse, a division 1 school for several seasons, and finished at Illinois with some very impressive stats.  Tommy is not a stiff athlete, but apparently, he does not have the metrics of most pro quarterback candidates. 

Well Tommy Devito has won three games in a row for a very mediocre team.  He has done it by not making stupid mistakes, passing with great accuracy, running the ball with surprising skill and understanding and adjusting to a complicated Pro Football system that usually takes a top rank rookie a year or more to learn.

What does Tommy have that has made him successful (for now at least) is he is Jersey tough. 

Tommy lives and grew up 10 minutes from Giant Stadium.  He is Jersey Italian tough.  I have married into a Jersey tough family, so I have some experience.  They are a special kind of tough.  Family is huge.  Sundays are Italian gravy dinners.  Respect is demanded…let us just say they are special people, and Tommy Devito is the stereotypical Jersey Italian tough.

He lives at home, well yeah, who else could make dinner like his Italian mom.

Tommy has fast become a New Jersey favorite of this New Jersey team…yes, the New York Giants play in New Jersey.

In his first win as a giant QB, after a touchdown pass, Tommy made a NJ Italian hand signal that means…well it can mean many things depending on the situation, much like the “Happy Day’s” Fonsie “Ehhhhh!”

Now after every TD, the whole stadium gives the hand signal “Ehhhhh!”

His success so far is not just on his undeniable talent, but also on his coolness under extreme pressure that is just part of his Jersey culture.

Tommy enters the field to the theme song of “The Soprano’s.”

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C0HlY3bRI53/

The New York Giants will probably not make the playoffs this year. 

Tommy Devito will probably not make it in the league beyond a backup position in years to come, but for now he is the only fun sport thing happening in the New York area.

In a sports world full of prima donnas, it is refreshing to find a lunch pail Jersey kid make it for a while in his own home town.  Will success spoil Tommy Devito?  I doubt it.  The reason for his success is the reason it will not go to his head. 

He is New Jersey Italian tough.  He is bringing the Sunday gravy* to the NFL.

 

*Gravy is tomato sauce with meat for anyone not Italian.  Took me a while to learn.

Steakhouse Rules

 

Steakhouse Rules

Every once in a while, I get sucked into one of those internet tutorials on how to live your life correctly.

“TEN WAYS TO KEEP OFF THE FAT”

“NINE THINGS TO NEVER SAY TO A WOMAN”

“EIGHT THINGS TO ALWAYS TEACH YOUR DOG”

You get the idea: Some recent journalism grad is given the task to suddenly become an expert on a subject and then impart their great insight on the rest of us cretins.

Generally, I get a laugh of these lesson for life from an expert who is just getting started out on life.  This recent one however brought out my best Cranky self. 

8 EDIQUETTE MISTAKES EVERYONE MAKES AT A STEAKHOUSE

These rules were for eating at a fancy $65 or more a plate Steakhouse.  Now I am not sure I have ever eaten at a $65 or more a plate restaurant, but I figured just in case, I should know the rules.

Here is what some genius culinary/etiquette expert came up with, I am sure they spent many hours of research.

 

1. Dousing your steak with steak sauce: If the chef wanted the steak slathered in sauce it would come that way.  HMMM, at $65 a plate, I’m not sure I give a rat’s backside how the chef wants me to eat MY steak!

2. Cutting the steak all at once: Cut one bite at a time, pointy finger on top of the knife, put down the knife, switch hands with the fork then eat.  Who knew that style points counted when eating steak, I guess there is something to be said for not eating like a cave man, but don’t tell me how to hold a knife (actually I think I do hold my knife that way) and shifting my fork for every bite is a waste of motion.

3. Do not eat every-last bite, leave something on your plate.  Etiquette says if you leave a small piece, it shows you were completely satisfied.  What if I’m not completely satisfied without finishing all of my plate? Why do I give a gosh darn if the chef and staff think I wasn’t satisfied? Furthermore, after years of being told “Clean your plate, Joe!” and feeling guilty for the starving children in China, I’m going to still listen to Mom.

4. When done don’t leave your napkin on the table, fold it neatly and leave it on your seat.  NO! I’m a rebel damn it!!

5.  No matter how good, do not chew on the steak bone, use your utensils.  Not only will I chew if I want, but I’m asking for a doggie bag to take that $65 bone home!

6.  Do not spit out chewy pieces in your napkin, place them discreetly in the corner of your plate. For $65 there should not be ANY chewy pieces, gristle, or excess fat! I will dispose of bad pieces how the hell I feel like…and then complain.  (Well, actually, never complain to people that are handling your food.)

7.  Order you steak well done if that is how you like it, but medium to medium rare is how the chef prefers as this is the juiciest and most flavorful setting.  Medium is my preference, but I really do not need anyone’s approval to order how it is cooked.  If I want to pay $65 for dried flavorless steak, take my money, make it well done and suck it up!

AS an aside for those that think it is macho to order steak rare and then chew forever before painfully gulping down each bite; it is OK to order medium or even medium well.  See, I can make rules too.

 

8.  Dress properly, many of the best restaurants require a specific dress code.  I don’t think there are many restaurants that are strict about dress these days, but I did like the old coat and tie days, so I can live with this rule.

Too summarize, for rules 1-7 pffffffft!  I was going to say “Fuck You” but I have mellowed. 

Mostly I don’t need to worry for now; it should take several more years of inflation for Outback to be selling $65 steaks.

 

Will Someone Please Explain

 

Will Someone Please Explain

 

Am I binary, or non-binary?  Seems like neither is a good thing.

How does one become their “authentic self?”  How is anyone’s self not authentic?

When did “you guys” become “you guyses?”

When did “literally” become an emphasis word? 

“He is literally a dentist”

Why don’t people just say “He is a dentist”?  It’s not like it is unbelievable for a person to be a dentist.  I know two dentists who are literally my friends.  I think it is literally STUPID! To use literally to describe a normal situation.

While I am at it, actually is just a stupid as literally and used pretty much the same.  “He is actually a dentist” STUPID!!

How do people say things like “He is not a rocket surgeon” and not be corrected… actually DRIVES ME NUTS…literally.

When did the answer to any question suddenly begin with “So.” 

“How much did your new car cost?”

“So, I paid $28,000.”

People used to just say “$28,000” what the heck is the “So” for?

Why is it suddenly so damn important to be “vulnerable” in a relationship?  I prefer to be comfortably in a relationship, not vulnerable!

How come marriage counselors even exist?  I have NEVER met a couple who went to a marriage counselor that did not get divorced within two years.  Marriage counselor’s success record by my experience is 0-27.

If someone tells you they are seeing a marriage counselor, just direct them to a lawyer.

Why don’t we get rid of daylight savings time.  Why do we even have time zones?  If it is 0800 in New York, it should also be 0800 in Australia.  It might take a while to get used to daylight being different times depending where you live, but at least everyone would know what time it is everywhere.

Why does the Government ruin my TV shows at night by testing their “Emergency Broadcasting system?”  It always seems to work; and what happens to all those people who are not watching TV when an emergency arises?  Shouldn’t they just send a text to everyone?

Why isn’t there one single good thing that comes from global warming?

Why can’t I solve crossword puzzles on the weekend?

Why does anyone under 35 use the word “like” at least once in every sentence when speaking?

Why do some people think stuttering while searching for a word makes them sound intelligent?  Just spit it out professor smarty-pants!

Why do we need one more Willy Wonka movie?

Why do people brag about not doing stuff?  “I never watching TV.  I don’t use that stupid Face thing or the Tweety thing” As if it makes them a better person?

Why do people say, “Smile, it could be worse!” Has that EVER made a person feel better? 

Why am I so cranky? 

All of the above!

 

 

My Wife Is A Witch

 

My Wife Is A Witch

 

My wife is a witch.  Not a scary Halloween witch, but apparently, she can cast spells. 

Let me explain.

Monday nights we are in a bowling league.  Our team is not particularly good, but without my spell casting wife we would be close to the basement.  (Last place)

Several weeks ago, we were about to be shut out.  Zero points out of seven possible.  We were doing ok in the final of three games when the opposing teams anchor went on a tear and threw five strikes in a row.

His hot streak cut our lead to two pins and he had one more throw while were finished.

On his final throw he needed to only hit 1 pin to defeat us.

(I know someone out there is thinking “one pin? You are leading by 2 pins?"

You probably don’t know scoring in bowling.  With 2 working strikes, one pin on the last throw will add up to 3 additional pins.)

Mrs. C lean over to me and said, 

“He could throw a gutter ball!”

This dude had not missed a rack all night.  He had just thrown 5 straight strikes, and The Witch suggested he could throw the ball in the gutter and hit nothing?

His last throw was pulled to the left started to curve and plopped into the gutter at the last second just missing the only pin needed to win the game.

Sue the first bowler on our team overheard Mrs. C’s call and could not hold back,

“You’re a witch!

Well, it could just be one of those things, stuff does happen…except tonight she struck again.

Our first game came down to the last frame.  Mrs. C finished a more than respectable 158 game after missing a tough tenth frame spare attempt giving us a 5-pin lead with no more frames. 

Unfortunately, Lori, the other team’s final bowler was faced with a simple single pin spare on her last frame.  If she makes the spare, it would pretty much assure, they would win the game for 2 points.

Lori is a very good bowler.  I have not seen her miss a simple middle of the alley single pin spare in like…ever.

As she lined up her shot, Mrs. C whispered,

“She could miss it you know.”

Lori could not believe it as her ball rolled by that single pin by less than an eyelash.

I was tempted to tell her it was not her fault, but stayed silent. 

I don’t want to mess with the witch.

 

Do You Have a Temperature?

 

Do You Have a Temperature?

 

What is the first question asked when you are feeling poorly?

“Is it Covid?”

Ok these days that is the first question, but after that it is,

“Do you have a temperature?”

There is a test for Covid, taking your temperature is not so easy.

Back in the day there were those mercury thermometers that only adults could read.  If you were normal that thin metallic line would stop at 98.8…every time.  Ninety-nine; you had a fever.  One-hundred you stayed in bed.  Those thermometers were dead accurate, and 98.8 was normal for almost the whole world.

Lately the rules have changed.  Now normal body temperature can be from 95 to 99.  How and why dd that change?

To make things even worse, today’s thermometers all vary by two or more degrees.  Those forehead and ear things can beep at 95 degrees one day and 96.5 the next. 

Normal body temperature is a crap shoot.

Last week I was feeling poorly.  Not Covid, I was tested (I am not an animal).  Just stuffy, congestion and I felt like a fever.  Chills and sweating usually indicate a fever.

So, Mrs. C brought out the forehead thermometer. 

“Ninety-five point 4, your fine.”

“Fine! Isn’t a low temperature also bad?”

“It says 95-99 is a normal range.”

“WTF!”

Days later I was over the stuffy nose and chest congestion but I really felt crappy.  Mrs. C took my temperature with a new under the tongue electronic thing. 

“Ninety-eight point five…normal.”

“What the hell, how is 98.5 normal when the other day 95.4 was normal? If 95.4 is normal then I am three degrees above normal! I need to stay home from school!”

“You don’t go to school you old fool!”

“See, I am delirious from fever.”

“Oh, your fine, you can’t trust these new thermometers.”

So, there you have it, one of the most trustworthy measures of your well-being no longer has any measure of accuracy.  Makes me wonder what the hell good were all those forehead tests to enter a building during Covid.

What happened to those old mercury things that you had to shake down before using, and the time under the tongue was measured by Mom’s,

“That should be long enough.”

These days the hand on the forehead and

“I don’t know, feels kind of hot to me.”

Is more accurate than that electronic crap.

 

BTW, this morning feeling much better, 96.4. Is that normal?

DRESS CODE

 

DRESS CODE

I see there is a big hoo-haw in the US Senate over the relaxing of a long-standing dress code.

It brings me back to my College Fraternity days.  

Our House had a dinner dress code which required a tie and jacket in the dinning area during meals.  I don’t recall for sure, but I believe pants were also required.

This code went back to the old days of snotty wealthy ass-hats being the only people who went to college.  In the 60’s, only two-thirds of college young men were snotty wealthy ass-hats; still the dinner dress code prevailed.

Of course, the other one-third, at least in our House, rebelled.

Surprise, I was one of the one-third.  I admit to being an ass-hat, but I was not that snotty and was less wealthy than many others.

It is easy to challenge a dress code.  In those days our house rebels would don wrinkled shirts matched with a clip-on gravy-stained poor taste tie and a cheap ratty sports coat.

Dress codes are a joke.

Recently I attended our annual reunion with these now less snotty, less ass-hattery, many still wealthy Fraternity Brothers.

At our Friday dinner, I wore a nice button-down shirt with a nice sports jacket and tie. 

I was over dressed. 

I was given a friendly fraternity BOS (bag of s___) over my attire.

A dress code like many laws or rules in society is just a “legal” way to enforce generally accepted standards.  It does not need to be strictly enforced except to subvert egregious behavior. 

Show up to a function in your underwear and you may not be allowed entry.

“Sorry sir, we require everyone to wear clothes…it is in our by-laws.”

This rule should not be needed, except there is always some jerk who cannot meet normal minimal standards of decorum. 

The alternative to a dress code is social banishment.  If you dress like a clown, you get treated like a clown.  You are ignored, you are marginalized. 

Acceptable attire can’t be legislated.  Any code can be mocked, especially if it is antiquated, much like wearing a clip-on gravy-stained tie back in the old fraternity days.

We don’t have rules against picking your nose in public, that behavior is patrolled by the mutual disgust of your peers.  If behavior or “dress” is unacceptable, society has ways of dealing with such behavior.

If an elected US Senator chooses to legislate dressed like a clown, he should not be stopped by any rule.  The “rule” should be unwritten common sense.  The consequence of “weird“ behavior should be censure, lack of respect, ineffective legislating, and ultimately a loss in the next election.

If a Senator can legislate effectively and be reelected while dressing like Uncle Fester, it is no gravy off my clip-on tie.

 

 

 

Cranky at a Concert

 

Cranky at a Concert

 

Tonight, I went to a concert with my friend Frog. 

The State Theater in New Brunswick featured Tommy Emmanuel.  You may not have ever heard of Tommy Emmanuel, but he an Australian who is the BEST ACUSTIC GUITAR player in the world.  I can not even explain his unbelievable talents, but that is not the real subject of this blog.

Yes, as usual, this post is about my lovely wife…Mrs. Cranky.

Mrs. C for want of better words, is a piece of work.

She currently works part time at the State Theater in New Brunswick, NJ.  And as such, she is an expert in all things State Theater Concerts. 

She did not work this night; she is in Florida with a friend exploring Disney World for the 17^th time…don’t even get me started.

Anyway, she knew I would like to see Tommy E, and she got tickets for Frog and I months ago. 

Thank you so much.

That was great of you, but it seems that Mrs. C does not believe I am capable of actually going to see a concert in the “Big City” (New Brunswick) by myself.

I guess she thinks that even with Frog, who has a Doctorate in History (well almost…there is still a thesis that needs to be submitted…is 55 years too late?) still equals “by myself”.

Anyway.

Here is what I get:

“Where are you going to park? Don’t go to the lot that requires paying through a link from a QR code, you’ll never figure that one out… (OK, she is right about that) go to the Morris Parking lot where you just get a ticket and pay on the way out.

OK.

“And to get to that lot you need to…blah blah blah…”

I’m not listening to her directions, because I’m going to just plug the address into the car GPS anyway, but here comes the coo de gras. (OK, I could look up the spelling of that French term, but coo de gras will have to do).

Anyway.

She tells me, “When you pay for the parking, your validated ticket will give you 15 minutes to leave.  Sometimes there is a delay from all the cars in the lot getting out, so you need to either get out first, or delay and let the lot clear out so you can leave within the 15 minutes.”

Now that seemed ridiculous to me.  But if true and it took more than 15 minutes to leave the lot, what would happen?  Would I be stuck behind gates that would not open and spend the night in New Brunswick?

As silly as this seemes, thank you very much for sticking that thought in my head!

As much as I enjoyed the concert, I had it in the back of my mind that we might not get out of the lot within the 15-minute time frame.

THE HORROR OF IT!!! 

Stuck in a parking lot, holding up other parkers, all because I didn’t either run like a rabbit to beat the crowd, or delay long enough to let the lot clear out.  OH, the shame if that would happen. 

Thank you very much for putting that catastrophe in my head!

What did happen?

After the concert there was a line in the lot to validate the parking ticket, then there was a 5–10-minute delay to get to the gate.  From there, an attendant took the validated ticket, tore it up without even looking at the validation time, and opened the gate.

There was no issue.

The lot was not worried about anyone cheating them out of 15 minutes or more of parking time, they just wanted to keep the line moving.

The concert was great.  Tommy Emmanual does things with a guitar that should not be possible.

I had a great time…except for that fear worm of being stranded in a parking lot that only Mrs. C could plant in my head.

 

And yet I still love her.

 

 

NAME THAT BIRD

 

NAME THAT BIRD

 

I like to think of myself as an amateur bird watcher.  I am not a “Birder,” one of those crazy people who hike through the woods with shorts, a floppy hat and binoculars strapped around their necks keeping track in a little book of every new bird they happen to spot.

I am not one of those people, though it would not take much to flip me…I’m just missing the floppy hat and the little book.

Anyway, I am a bird watcher, not a “Birder.”  Got it from my mom who always had a “Birds of North America” book handy in case an unusual bird stopped by our yard. 

Last night I was prepping the BBQ for dinner with my friend Frog who was visiting for one of our periodic guitar butchery get togethers.

I heard a bird call of which I was not familiar.

“Kee Aw Scree…Kee Aw Scree!”

Frog heard it too and as he is another armature bird watcher whose mom had the same book; he came running outside from the kitchen.

“What is that?” he inquired.

“You heard it too.”

“Yup.”

“Kee Aw Scree…Kee Aw Scree!”

“There it is again!”

“It’s not a song bird that’s for sure.”

“Definitely, some kind of raptor.”

“Maybe.”

“I have seen a small hawk around here from time to time.”

“I’ll bet it’s an immature Sharp Shinned Hawk.”

“Could be, or a Coopers, not much difference.”

“Kee Aw Scree…Kee Aw Scree!”

“There it is again, and it’s not moving, must be in a nest somewhere.”

I pulled out my phone, “Siri, show me the call of a Sharp Shinned Hawk.”

Over the phone came, “The Sharp Shinned Hawk makes a Kik Kik Kik call.”

“Well, it’s not a Sharped Shinned.”

“Kee Aw Scree…Kee Aw Scree!”

“There it is again.”

 “Kee Aw Scree…Kee Aw Scree! Wee, this is fun daddy!”

“Hmm, it is either some kind of small raptor, or your neighbor’s swing set needs some WD40!”

“Well, that was exciting…how do you want your steak?”

Like I said, I am an amateur bird watcher.

 

 

 

SHARK WEEK

 

SHARK WEEK

This week is the 367 annual “Shark Week” on the Discovery channel. 

I love shark week.  Sharks are cool, scary, but cool. 

Apparently, according to the “Shark Week” experts, shark’s reputation as man eaters is overdone and sharks are really quite safe.  Your chances of getting hit by lightening are 100 times greater than getting bit by a shark.  Of course, if you spent the same amount of time swimming in shark infested water as you do out of the water during thunder storms, those odds might be quite a bit different.

Anyway, sharks are cool and I enjoy learning about them on “Shark Week.”  I do want to throw a penalty flag on some of their episodes.

A common thread to “Shark Week” segments is:

“Sharks are a valuable part of our eco-system.  Without sharks the oceans eco-balance would be disturbed and…we will all die! (some exaggeration on the all die part, but implied.)

Because our continued existence is dependent on sharks, it is incredibly important that we study and learn more about sharks so we can protect their population.” (again some exaggeration, but implied,)

Now I am not throwing the penalty flag on protecting sharks or their importance in our eco-system.  I have a nephew who is a marine biologist.  His wife is a marine biologist.  They are both beyond brilliant.  My friend Frog’s son is a marine biologist.  He is beyond brilliant.  I am certain they would all tell me,

“Yes Uncle Cranky, sharks are very important to the ocean ecology.”

See, I am not arguing that, though it may be a tiny bit overblown, I am questioning how these “Shark Week” experts study sharks.  I suspect they are more concerned with getting entertaining content for “Shark Week” than they are in learning about and protecting sharks.

For instance, I just watched an episode where the experts captured a Sleeper Shark.  Now, sleeper sharks live over 6000 feet deep, and even though they live to be over 250 years old they are very rare to see.

These experts baited hooks and sank them to sleeper shark depths.  They left the hooks overnight and returned the next day where they were ecstatic to have caught an 8-footer (small for sleeper sharks).

They raved about how important this catch was.  They would take all the shark’s statistics, length weight etc., tag it and release it.

EXPERTS:

“This is an incredible opportunity.  To capture one of these magnificent animals is super rare.  We can tag it and later learn about its habits; where it feeds, how fast it grows, all information which will help us to preserve the species and save all humanity from extinction.” (They did not say that last part, but again, it was kind of implied.)

Anyway, here is my problem with all this. 

Hooking a large animal at 6000 feet deep and not pulling it up for a day must be very stressful on that animal.  It seems to me hauling it up 6000 feet must not be good for the animal (do large fish get the bends?) Finally, if it is so super rare to capture this animal, how valuable will tagging it be?  I mean will it ever be caught again to gather all that valuable information? 

I say, if you want to preserve this species, leave it the frig alone!  The damn things live over 250 years, I don’t think they need our help.  The capture and tag charade in this case was more about content for TV than it was to save the sleeper shark.

It was however, very cool, and interesting.

BTW, sleeper sharks are not known to attack people (maybe because people don’t often swim 6000 feet below the surface) so you are safer swimming with sleeper sharks than playing golf in the rain.

I Thought I was Just Joking

 

I Thought I was Just Joking

Years ago, I posted about an issue I had with climate change. 

I envisioned a situation where a country could devise a way to control the climate.  It sounded like a wonderful pipe dream until I gave it more thought.

Have you ever lived in a home with sleeping quarters on two floors?  Invariably on really hot nights there is a thermostat battle.

Because hot air rises the upstairs is always sweltering in the summer, so upstairs residents will lower the air conditioner at night.  The lower temperature starts to freeze out the lower floor sleepers so they clomp out in the middle of the night and raise the temperature.  This back and forth thermostat battle can go on all night and no one gets any sleep.

If we we could control the planets climate, would we experience the same thermostat battle?

Would the world thermostat controller decide that the Winter was too cold and raise the temperature, only to find those countries that rely on colder temperatures would complain.

“Hey, what the Hell, we need snow for our ski resorts!”

If they had also developed a climate control machine would they drop the temperature right back?

“Hey, turn it up, our fruit crops are frosted and dying!”

You see the problem don’t you.

To me years ago it was just a semi-humorous concept of trying to make everyone happy with the Earth’s climate.

Well, I just read an article about our current administration considering flooding the atmosphere with tiny particles much like that of a volcano eruption to defect the sun’s rays and stop global warming.

Would we be able to do this in a way that only effects our country?

Who would decide on how much to reduce the sun’s rays? Do all the countries get a vote? Are the votes weighted based on population? Would there be any adverse effects with such an experiment?

What could possibly go wrong?