Do You Have a Temperature?
What is the first question asked when you are feeling poorly?
“Is it Covid?”
Ok these days that is the first question, but after that it is,
“Do you have a temperature?”
There is a test for Covid, taking your temperature is not so easy.
Back in the day there were those mercury thermometers that only adults could read. If you were normal that thin metallic line would stop at 98.8…every time. Ninety-nine; you had a fever. One-hundred you stayed in bed. Those thermometers were dead accurate, and 98.8 was normal for almost the whole world.
Lately the rules have changed. Now normal body temperature can be from 95 to 99. How and why dd that change?
To make things even worse, today’s thermometers all vary by two or more degrees. Those forehead and ear things can beep at 95 degrees one day and 96.5 the next.
Normal body temperature is a crap shoot.
Last week I was feeling poorly. Not Covid, I was tested (I am not an animal). Just stuffy, congestion and I felt like a fever. Chills and sweating usually indicate a fever.
So, Mrs. C brought out the forehead thermometer.
“Ninety-five point 4, your fine.”
“Fine! Isn’t a low temperature also bad?”
“It says 95-99 is a normal range.”
Days later I was over the stuffy nose and chest congestion but I really felt crappy. Mrs. C took my temperature with a new under the tongue electronic thing.
“Ninety-eight point five…normal.”
“What the hell, how is 98.5 normal when the other day 95.4 was normal? If 95.4 is normal then I am three degrees above normal! I need to stay home from school!”
“You don’t go to school you old fool!”
“See, I am delirious from fever.”
“Oh, your fine, you can’t trust these new thermometers.”
So, there you have it, one of the most trustworthy measures of your well-being no longer has any measure of accuracy. Makes me wonder what the hell good were all those forehead tests to enter a building during Covid.
What happened to those old mercury things that you had to shake down before using, and the time under the tongue was measured by Mom’s,
“That should be long enough.”
These days the hand on the forehead and
“I don’t know, feels kind of hot to me.”
Is more accurate than that electronic crap.
BTW, this morning feeling much better, 96.4. Is that normal?