Stupid Headlines 040818

Stupid Headlines 040818

It Is Time Again For

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.

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Mom deployed Taser on son to wake him up for church –  Why is mom or anyone not part of law enforcement even allowed to have a Taser?

Credit card companies eliminating signature requirements – Finally I won’t need to sign “Donald Duck” on all my purchases.

Virginia woman arrested for allegedly threatening to blow up a 7-Eleven – My first law supporting sensible gun legislation would be

DO NOT SELL A GUN TO THIS WOMAN!!

Woman finds spider in McDonald's chicken sandwich – Now selling as a “Chicken McArachnid Sandwich.”  

A systematic approach to implementing cognitive technologies – Zzzzzz.

Woman fights off tiger with a stick after it attacks her goat – I’ll bet she speaks softly.

Couple busted for allegedly running brothel out of home, with kids inside, to fund heroin addiction – These two will be on Dr. Phil real soon…he’ll fix them in about 45 minutes.

Elderly adults grow as many new brain cells as teenagers do, study finds – Well, like, you know, that, like explains, like a lot, you know.

Bald eagle takes off during pregame ceremony, lands on Mariners pitcher James Paxton – Talk about getting an early hook!

Hillary Clinton's $25G for Rutgers speech was less than school paid 'Snooki' – Snooki told students “study hard, but party harder!” Hillary told them, “Waaaaa!”

Ohio man arrested after attacking girlfriend, hitting her in the face with pizza – “At’s Amore”

FEEL GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK

Police Officers Stand in for Children’s Parents who Could Not Make it to School Dance – A Cop Hop!

https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/police-stand-in-for-childrens-parents-who-couldnt-make-it-to-school-dance/

Come Back Next Week For More

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!

No Flipping Way!

No Flipping Way!

I wonder how many times in my life I have said “No flipping way!”  You know, like when someone shows you something completely new and you can’t believe it is even possible.

Several hundred years ago and eons before, very few opportunities came to say “No flipping way!” Maybe a bow and arrow elicited such a response.  An ax may have excited the first hunters and gatherers.  The first wheel certainly changed lives, and for sure, fire got a whole lot of “No flipping way’s!”.  I’ll bet gun powder and firearms got a lot of wondrous exclamations as well.

From fire, wheels, tools and gun powder it was a lot of no change until someone figured out an internal combustion engine.  

For a hundred or more years after that, an airplane got a “No flipping way!”, radio was huge, TV certainly got a big “No flipping way!” and atomic energy surprised everyone except Einstein.  I left out the telephone.  That allowed you to declare “No flipping way!” from coast to coast.

In my life time there have been so many “No flipping way’s!” that nothing surprises me anymore.  The cell phone was cool, and internet is great, but by the time they came around I was numb to fantastic, science-fiction-come-true stuff. 

I think the last innovation that freaked me out and had me declare “No flipping way!” was the fax machine. 

I remember at work we needed a daily report from Chicago.  I asked someone how they got this report so fast. 

“Oh, they just fax it.”

“They what?”

“They put the report in a machine in Chicago, and that transmits the report to our machine over the phone lines and it prints out here.”

“Get the fuck out!”

“I’m serious, this little machine here.  Watch, they are sending the report now.”

“Ekk ek eek eke k eke k eek whir eke k bringa ding eke ek….”

And the report came printed out of a small machine.

“No flipping way!”

Since then almost nothing surprises me.

Does anyone even use a fax machine today?

What was your last “No flipping way!”?

IRScam

IRScam

Last week I got two calls on my cell phone from a Lt. Ryan of the IRS informing me that the United States Government had discovered fraudulent reporting on my tax returns and I was facing potential prosecution.  I know it is a scam, but I had time so I called the number they directed me to call.  No one answered.  I wonder how they rip anyone off if they do not answer the call.

Today I received three calls on our land line from the IRS.  They were identical robo calls from a very stilted robo-voice once again telling me I was facing jail time and needed to call their number.  I did not bother to call this time.

I know it is a scam.  Almost everyone knows it is a scam, but these scammers clearly spend a good amount of money calling everyone in the country, they must be finding people who fall for their crap.  They must be ripping off a lot of people for a lot of money.

I’m guessing they are probably mostly ripping off older people who have lost a mental step and are easily scared.  This pisses me off, as I am an old person and not far from losing a mental step or two myself. 

Why isn’t someone protecting the vulnerable?

The Government can and probably does monitor every phone call in the country. You can not drink a cup of coffee without leaving DNA.  Facebook is watching me as I type this post.  There is no privacy anymore, why can’t these IRS scamming pricks be caught and thrown in jail?

These bastards use the phones.  How hard is it to trace them?  They have to pay phone bills, how hard is it to track them?  I’ll bet all the dirty water cocktails in New Jersey that if these dipshits made the slightest threat to a Senator or Congressman they would be behind bars the next day.

These people are taking advantage of the old, the weak and the stupid, do we not care about the old, the weak and the stupid?

I am old, I am getting weak and it won’t be long before I am stupid(er), so Gol Dang it, I want protecting!

Track these people down.  Lock these bastards up.  Don’t tell me it can’t be done, YES IT FRIGGIN CAN!!

Besides, these multiple phone calls are getting annoying.