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Thursday, April 25, 2013

TOAST or BAKE?


TOAST or BAKE?
 

Last fall we redid our kitchen.  It looked so nice we had to toss a perfectly good toaster/oven in favor of a new stainless steel appliance that looks pretty but works like crap.

One feature of this toaster/oven is you have to first set a dial to bake, or toast, then set a timer.  In order to toast an English muffin you need to set the timer to dark, and after about ten minutes of an annoying tick, tick, tick it finally goes BING and the muffins are done.

It has taken me a while to learn that before you start the coffee, cook the bacon and fry an egg, you have to put in the muffins first. 

Today, for the third time in two weeks, I put in the muffins and dialed in “Dark,” fixed the coffee, cooked the bacon, and fried an egg.  When the egg was done, I heard the BING, and was ready to enjoy my breakfast.

EXCEPT!

The toaster oven was set to bake, not toast.  My muffins were warm, but not toasted.  It took ten more minutes to make them toast and by then my eggs and bacon were cold and the coffee too strong.

I shouted agitatedly upstairs,

“KAREN!”

“What!”

“You did it again!”

“Did what again?”

“You left the toaster/oven on ‘bake’.”

“So?”

“So I baked my muffins instead of toasting them!”

“You should have just changed the dial to ‘toast’.”

“No!  You need to change the dial back to ‘toast’ after you're finished baking!”

“Yeah…well now you know how I feel when you leave the toilet seat up!”

Mrs. Cranky logic strikes again.

 

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

PICKED A GOOD ONE…ballgame that is


PICKED A GOOD ONE…ballgame that is
 
Baseball is a great game, and there is nothing like watching a game at the ballpark.  Before my time, kids went to major league games all the time.  Bleacher seats were affordable and a hot dog and a soda could be purchased with blue collar wages.  Sadly that is no longer true.

I only went to Yankee Stadium once when I was a kid.  It was a double header against the Orioles and the Yankees won both games.  My hero, Mickey Mantle, hit a home run in the second game, and I went home six inches off the ground.

I took my two boys ( before Spencer) to the ballpark only one time.  We went to a game on July 15, 1990.  I think I got free tickets through work so I only had to pay for parking, hot dogs and sodas.  It was still probably more than I could comfortably afford.  So Mike, Matt, myself and I believe their two friends, probably Kyle and Ray drove to the big park.  It was the Yankees against the Kansas City Royals.

I don’t remember who won the game, what I do remember and I am sure the boys all remember, was watching two of the greatest athletes of our time play against each other.  Two of the only athletes to be legitimate stars in two different great American sports played against each other.

Bo Jackson, the Heisman award winner as the best college football player of 1985, was in centerfield for the Royals.  Bo was freakishly good at all sports.  He was one of the fastest runners in the world and his strength was legendary.  He played professional football for the Oakland Raiders and Baseball for the Royals.

Dion "Neon Dion" Sanders played centerfield for the Yankees.  Dion was to become an all pro defensive back for several professional football teams, become a Hall-of-famer and he may well have been the best defensive back in football of all time.

It was exciting to see these great two-sport athletes, probably the last players who will ever start for professional teams in two different sports, play in the same game at the same position. 

They put on a show!

Bo Jackson started the show.  In his first at bat he hit a tremendous homerun into the bleachers deep in left field.  The second time at bat, Bo launched a huge shot into the right field upper deck for his second homerun.  In his third at bat, Bo hit a ball into centerfield which it seemed would never come down; three at bats, three homeruns.  Even the hometown fans were waiting for his fourth at bat, to see if the great Bo Jackson could hit four homeruns in one game.

Bo never came to bat a fourth time in that game.  In the eighth inning, Neon Dion Sanders lined a shot to center field.  Bo ran in and dove for the ball, but it was hit too hard and too low.  The drive got by Bo and went to the wall.  Dion rounded the bases with speed that perhaps only Bo Jackson could match and scored on a rare inside-the-park homerun.

Bo was hurt trying to make the catch.  He was out of baseball for six weeks.  When he returned, in his first at bat since the injury, Bo hit a homerun.  He hit four homeruns in four at bats with the fourth coming six weeks after the third.

I wish I could have taken my boys to more big league games, but at least I knew how to pick them.  One of the greatest athletes the world has ever seen hit three consecutive homeruns, one to each field, and a football Hall-of-famer hit a rare inside-the-park homerun in the same game.

Many years before this game, my father went to Yankee Stadium for the only time in his life.  It was a World Series game.  The Yankees won.  Mickey Mantle hit a homerun.  Don Larson pitched the only no-hitter in World Series history.

Two years ago, Spencer was invited by a friend for his first game at the new Yankee Stadium.  Derrick Jeter hit a homerun, the three thousandth hit in his career.

We don’t go to very many games, but we sure know how to pick them.

 

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Three Quarter Flip


The Three Quarter Flip
 

My Aunt Phil lived in a suburb of Philadelphia.  It was farmland then, it is mostly McMansions now.  Her house was on several acres and she had an in-ground swimming pool.  I spent a week with Aunt Phil one summer.  I think I was about twelve.  I don’t remember the reason I spent this week on “The Farm” (to me it was a farm, there may have been a vegetable patch) probably my parents were on vacation and needed to pawn me off.

It would have been a boring week except for my cousin Ronnie.  Ronnie was two years older than I was.  I spent the week following him around like a puppy dog. 

Most of the time was spent in the pool.  Ronnie was able to do a full flip off the low diving board, one full turn and land straight in on his feet.  It was my goal to learn to also do a flip off the low board.

I must have attempted 500 flips off that board.  Everyone was completed to three quarter perfection.  A three quarter flip would have me land, legs and feet stretched out, perfectly on my back.  Instead of a silent swish in the water, I landed with a giant slap.  Every attempt was the same, and every attempt was painful, but I was intent on learning to do a perfect flip.  With Ronnie’s guidance and instruction on the last day of my visit I was eventually able to realize that I was never going to complete a full flip.  It took one week for me to learn that if you try really hard and practice for a really long time, there was still some stuff that you will never be able to do.

I never tried to do a flip off a board again.

Fast forward and I had three children all participating on a swim team at a local swim club.  Both my oldest son Mike and the youngest Matt were able to do one and a half flips off the low board.  One and a half turns and they would land a head first swish.   Every time I witnessed their diving I was taken back to my failed and painful attempts.

My daughter, Mary Beth, was on the diving team.  I don’t recall if she could do a double flip, I’m pretty sure she could do a one and a half.  I do remember she was a pretty good diver.  She was not the best on the team as she started diving much later than several other girls, but she was graceful and she was good.

Mary Beth worked hard at diving and she was improving.  Then one day while I was at work I got a call.  Mary Beth slipped off a slightly wet board while practicing.  She came down hard on her leg, the tibia (I think) snapped.  I will not get graphic here, but it was described to me as let’s just say very friggin gruesome.  She was eight weeks or more in a cast, the first week in a wheelchair, and she walked with a slight limp for over a year.

I don’t think Mary Beth ever dove again.

I never told any of my children of my week of three quarter flips.  My sons could do a flip; my daughter could do a flip if the board was not wet.  I don’t think that Spencer, my fifteen year old, has ever tried.

He’s pretty good at most sports. 

I’m going to recommend he stay off the diving board.