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Friday, April 15, 2011
HOW TO BE A HERO
HOW TO BE HERO
Why is it more admired to be a fuck-up who straightened out his act because it was either that, die, go to jail, or end up as a sewer living bum, than someone who never fucked-up at all?
If you want a standing ovation on today’s talk shows, simply admit to being a recovered anything.
I used to rape women, but I got help and have not raped a woman in 6 weeks. CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! I used to shoot heroin three times a day, and rob little old ladies to pay for my habit, but I got help and have been heroin free for 10 days. CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! I used to snort cocaine and diddle little boys, but I got help and have been snort and diddle free for 3 weeks. CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! I once was a crack smoking, nose picking, non-showering, bulling, alcoholic, peeping Tom, pedophile, raincoat flashing pervert who made a living as a bunko artist preying on crippled widows. I got help and am now a non-crack addicted, no-nose picking, showered, sweet, friend of Bill who has not peeped in a window, or lured little children with candy for three months. I make a living counseling addicted, bad smelling nose picking, pedophile perverts. CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!
EXCUSE ME, I have never raped a woman, shot heroin, robbed little old ladies, snorted cocaine or diddled little boys! chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp.
Well…..I did to crack my knuckles, but I got help and I have been knuckle crack free for 2 years. CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!
All you recovered asshole worshipers…..FUCK YOU! clap clap clap clap clap.