DINNER WITH FOGHORN LEGHORN
For those
too young to remember, or too intellectual to watch a cartoon, Foghorn Leghorn
was a cartoon rooster with a very loud booming cartoon voice.
Last night,
Mrs. C and I went to dinner with her sister (who picked up the tab thank you very much) at a fancy seashore restaurant.
Fancy being
you needed a reservation, and a collared shirt.
The food is
always excellent, the prices not too unreasonable and the atmosphere relaxing
and inviting. We look forward to at
least one night there when we are enjoying our time at the Jersey Shore.
Did I say
the atmosphere was relaxing? Well, most
of the time, but not when you are dining next to a table where the conversation
is dominated by Foghorn Leghorn.
Obnoxiously
loud and content driven to demonstrate how wealthy, important, and fascinating he
is.
“I
say, when we were supping in Cambodia the most delightful event happened. We were served pompow, I say pompow and I
asked, I say son, what in tarnation is pompow, and he says it is chicken. I say son, I say in my area of this big globe
we call chicken chicken!”
I whispered
to Mrs. C,
“Is that
clown with the incredibly boring story as big an asshole as he sounds?”
“Pretty
big…asshole, not in stature.”
“Could I
kick his ass?” (Even at 78 years old most men judge
other men in two categories, I could kick his ass, or I could not kick his ass…I
know)
“Yes.”
I took that
as an OK to be loud myself.
“SO, AS I
WAS SAYING, THE OTHER DAY WHEN DRIVING MY BIG ASS BMW, I WAS STOPPED BY A COP
FOR SPEEDING, I ASKED THE COP, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? HE SAID NO SIR, AND I SAID…”
“Stop it,
you’re too loud and that never happened!”
“I SAID
SON, I SAY I’M THE ONE WHO PAYS YOUR SALARY AND YOU DESERVE A RAISE! HE SAYS HAVE A NICE DAY SIR AND SLOW DOWN A
BIT. YOU SEE YOU JUST HAVE TO KNOW HOW
TO TALK TO PEOPLE!!”
Ok I’m not
that big a jerk, I only raised my voice a little to make a point, and Mrs. C
quickly shushed me.
Unfortunately,
Foghorn’s wife was not as concerned for other diners. It was all we could do to have any
conversation of our own.
I did quietly
imitate the jerk a little and we managed a good laugh to drown out the bore so
we did still have a nice time.
What is the proper
etiquette for dealing with a loudmouth bore at a restaurant?
Omg!!! Loving this!!! Soo true Joe!! You imitated him very well though! lol!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a bore. I would have asked to be moved to a table away from him. I've done that more than once.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day and weekend, Joe. ☺
I don’t ever remember that happening so I don’t know how we would react. Now that you’ve mentioned it, it’ll probably happen.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard not to say something or punch him isn't it? :-) My husband would do what you said and did and I'd be Mrs. C shushing him.
ReplyDeleteMrs. C was right and you would be too...shushing was appropriate. BTW my mom was a Peggy but from Mary not Margaret...I don't know either.
DeleteYou always make me laugh! You made me think about my lunch today with gals I worked with in surgery who have retired. We were laughing (quite a bit), telling stories from the "good old days" in surgery. We have no qualms about discussing blood and guts while eating but now I'm thinking those sitting by us might not have appreciated it!
ReplyDeleteProper etiquette? I have no idea, being the uncivilised slob that I am, but I might ask the waiter to ask him to please lower his voice a little.
ReplyDeleteI've had this happen too many times, especially when tables are too close together, the place is too crowded, and you're stuck next to loud people who are probably also drinking too much. The loud laughter and hooting and hollering is the worse.
ReplyDeleteI rely on my teacher stinkeye, which is surprisingly not-so-effective on adults. Especially on rumpusholes like this. A backup is excessive eye-rolling. Also ineffective, but it makes me feel better about my situation. With the added plus of blog fodder.
ReplyDelete