A Flash in the Pan

A Flash in the Pan

Have you ever been put in your place?  You know, complained about something and then had someone hit you with the perfect retort that shut you up real quick; I have.  Actually due to a lack of a verbal filter I have been put in my place lots of times, but one in particular really stuck with me.

Let me start off by saying I do not like Frank Sinatra's music, and in the New York, New Jersey area that opinion borders on heresy.   Italian restaurants in particular play a lot of Sinatra.  One night while dining with friends I had to speak up about the constant Sinatra music that was playing.

“I don’t get it, what is it about Sinatra?  To me all his songs sound alike.  He has no range, he can hit maybe two octaves, (like I really understand what an octave is) I don’t get why he is such a big deal.”

My one friend in particular was very fond of Sinatra.  He could have argued with me.  He could have talked about how Sinatra is brilliant with his phrasing and tempo and style.  He could have talked of his success, his record sales, his huge turnouts for live performances, and the fact that he is known as “The Chairman of the Board.”

Instead he simply looked me in the eye and said, “Your right, he is probably just a flash in the pan.”

I fell off my chair laughing.  Just because something is not your cup of tea, it is all right to say it is not your style or you prefer something else, but you need to recognize that there is some attraction that lots of other people get.  If you hold an opinion that is in the minority, that minority position is often well justified.  

I don’t like Sinatra music, I don’t like opera, I don’t like Broadway Musicals, I don’t like Rap, I don’t like action movies, I don’t like Shakespeare, I don’t like figure skating (Well I do like watching the ladies skate backwards) but I do recognize that it is just me and these things are popular for a reason.  All these things have been around for a long time.

None are just a flash in the pan. 

PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS

PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS

I mentioned this in a post last week,so I may as well make it a re-run. It is from 2011

There is a popular board game for little girls six and under, “Pretty Pretty Princess.”  In this game, you roll dice, go around the board, and collect rings, earrings and a crown.  When you collect each item plus the crown you win.   Everyone in the game then has to declare you the “Pretty Pretty Princess.”

This is a great game for little ones because it is so simple and it combines counting with dress-up.  I am secure enough in my masculinity to wear the earrings, rings, and the crown much to the amusement of all. 

I am not homophobic and I believe your sexual orientation is determined at birth, but there is still something in the back of my prehistoric mind that thinks the gay lifestyle is not one to intentionally turn your child towards and maybe this game is not aimed at most little boys.

My youngest son survived this game.  He played it with the same sense of silliness that I did and it would appear that he hasn’t jumped teams.  Still it occurs to me that there should be a similar game for little boys.  It would be a simple game that combines counting with masculine attributes.  I would name it:  “TUFFY TUFFY TUFF GUY.”

Each player would start with an empty tool belt.  He would go around the board and collect tools to fill his belt.  When he collected a drill, a screw driver, and a saw, he would then be just the “Silver Hammer” away from being declared,   “TUFFY TUFFY TUFF GUY!”

Along the way around the board, if you land on one of the “Gender Bender” squares, you have to pick a card.  These cards would have different instructions such as:

“You punched a bully in the nose, move three steps forward and collect a power drill.”  Or “You attended a Lisa concert, take two steps back and turn in your saw.”

I think little girls would also enjoy this game.  Come on Hasbro or Parker Brothers take a chance, I think this game would be a big seller. 

The world is ready for TUFFY TUFFY TUFF GUY!  

What Do Rich People Look Forward To?

What Do Rich People Look Forward To?

a cranky re-run from August 2011

Mrs. Cranky and I are buying a new dishwasher.  Soon.  We are looking forward to a dishwasher that is quiet, dries the dishes, and does not require washing the dishes before you load the dishes to be washed.  It is nice having something to look forward to.  You plan, you save, and you brag to everyone about what you are going to do.  Getting stuff never seems as great as looking forward to getting the stuff.

What if whenever you wanted something, you made a phone call and 20 minutes later you had it?  Sounds nice, but there is no anticipation glow; nothing to look forward to.  What do rich people look forward to?  I don’t mean just rich, I mean stupid rich.  The kind of rich where you never ask how much, you only ask when it will be delivered.

Do the uber-rich know the joy of looking forward to something?  I’m talking 6 year old Christmas Eve anticipation.

Howard Hughes was the richest man in the world in the nineteen sixties.  He had done everything and every woman. He had everything he could ever pay for and yet he spent his last years as a recluse.  He had nothing more to look forward to. 

He may have wished for a 52 inch TV mounted to the wall with access to 200 channels and every movie ever made on demand by merely pushing a button.  He may have wished for a telephone that he could carry anywhere in his pocket.  A phone that would take pictures and even video clips.  A phone that could then send those clips all over the world.  A phone that could access all the information known to man in seconds.

He may have wanted a thin tablet that could order any book and it would be available for reading in 30 seconds.  He may have wanted a box smaller than a deck of cards that would hold as many song recordings as you could possible listen to in a life time. 

He may have wanted a five pound machine that you could use to send messages instantly around the world, messages, videos, information all in seconds.  A machine that had access to the dictionary, an encyclopedia, film and music libraries, could calculate the most complicated problems in an instant; a machine that could store, sort, and organize information that would require a large building in the nineteen sixties. Howard Hughes may have wanted these things, but they did not exist.  They were things he could not even imagine. Things that he could not look forward to. 

I don’t have all these things, but they are within my reach. They are things I can look forward to.  I guess that makes me wealthier than Howard Hughes ever was.