TUPPERWARE a cranky re-run

TUPPERWARE

Actually this is a double re-run, from August 2011 and October 2012

Tupperware was invented in 1946.  Tupperware has since been a kitchen storage staple.  In the day, my ex-wife went to a Tupperware party several times a year.  We had Tupperware cups, juice pitchers, and containers of every size.  We had the traditional Tupper-toy ball which held Tupper-blocks of multiple shapes (my record was shoving all the shapes into the ball in 22 seconds.

There is a Tupperware container for virtually every household item.  There is a container to hold a bar of soap, a container to cover and keep your toothbrush sanitary (or create a humid atmosphere to grow germs.)  There is a special container for toothpicks, pizza slices, salt, pepper, head of lettuce, and multiple sizes of the Velveeta brick (a cheese like product).

Tupperware is virtually indestructible, and comes with a lifetime guarantee against damage or defect. 

My wife is a Tupperware fanatic. 

The daughter of a Tupperware party lady, she has been brainwashed into the belief that Tupperware is GOLD. 

We have three cabinets full of Tupperware.  Mrs. Cranky fits this stuff in like a giant Jenga puzzle.  Pull out the wrong container and you are hit by an avalanche of multi-colored plastic containers.  The lids for the multitude of containers are all on a shelf of their own.  They are color coded to aid in matching them up to the containers (no, the lids are not the same color as the container.)  My wife is the only one who knows the code.  Every lid almost fits each container.  Without the code obtaining the magic Tupperware freshness burp is an incredibly frustrating task.

You cannot put the Tupper-gold in the dishwasher; Mrs. Cranky claims it will lose its burp.  I am not allowed to hand wash it.  I am too rough.   I officially hate Tupperware.  Tupperware is symbolic of all things kitchen which men cannot handle.  We cannot store it.  We cannot take it out.  We cannot properly seal it.  We can’t even wash the damn stuff.  You can’t see through it, when it is in the refrigerator we have no idea what is stored in the Tupperware.

Is this stuff really gold?  You can buy a dozen non-Tupperware plastic containers at the supermarket for one tenth the price of Tupperware.  It will not last a lifetime, but you can see through it so you know what it holds.  It won’t do the burp thing so the food gets moldy one day earlier, but at least you can see the mold before you open the container up.

Even cheaper, Chinese restaurants now deliver their product in plastic (Chinese Tupperware) containers.  They don’t last a lifetime, but you can put them in the dishwasher.  When they wear out, you simply throw them away and order more take-out.

I have not heard of a Tupperware party in years, maybe they don’t need to sell the stuff anymore; it does last forever and gets passed down generation to generation.  I know I will never see the day that I can safely open the Tupperware cabinet. 

Damn I hate that stuff!

I told Mrs. Cranky that when I am gone please have a cremation and put me in an urn.  My greatest fear is spending eternity burped in a tightly sealed Tupperware casket.  Blue….With a yellow lid.           

STUPID HEADLINES 0802145

STUPID HEADLINES 0802145

It’s time again for

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.

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WYOMING MAN FOUND WITH 30 EYEBALLS IN HIS ANAL CAVITY – He was sent to I See You.

San Francisco combats the stench of urine with pee-repellant paint – Or they could encourage the use of toilets.

Feds gave low-income housing to millionaires – There goes the neighborhood.

Too pale to fly? Airline stops redhead from boarding due to white ‘sickly’ skin – I’m guessing they weren’t flying to the Caucasians.

Minnesota city fights solar system approval by state – This is government getting carried away, the Solar System is pretty much a given, not subject to state approval.

Giant inflatable duck taken from roof of Roseburg auto center – FRAN! Can you verify where you were on the night of July 26? http://fishducky.blogspot.com/

Washington, D.C. could sink 6 inches over next century – And you probably didn’t think Washington could get any lower.

Teens sold iPhones that were Play-Doh bricks – The “Phones” were not the only things that were not smart.

The king still reigns at ag expo cat show – What the Hell is an ag expo cat show?

Nutty professor: Rutgers teacher who said US worse than ISIS has history of bizarre statements – This is the same professor who fought against allowing Condoleezza Rice to speak. The fact she can even make such a statement proves she is wrong.

Lottery Shows Winning Number Before It Gets Drawn – Officials claim it was just a coincidence, kind of like winning the goof-up lottery.

23 Pound lobster is 95 years old – Proof that eating nothing but seafood is good for you.

RIP CECIL

RIP CECIL

The following is the opinion of a cranky old man with little knowledge on the topic opined.  Opposing opinions are welcome but may be ignored.  Mean spirited comments will be deleted and as always, please, no name calling, and that means you, you big stupid head!

I do not like hunting.  I don’t like guns or crossbows.  I don’t mind that people hunt some animals.  As much as I like deer, they can be a nuisance and except for automobiles they don’t have many natural enemies.   Without hunters the deer would be overpopulated, they would probably become disease ridden and die anyway.  Plus hunters eat the deer they kill and deer are quite tasty.

I am not a fan of killing an animal only to pose like a big shot by the carcass and take home another ratty rug with teeth.  This dentist who killed Cecil the lion is a jerk.  He is apparently a rich jerk, so I dislike him even more.  A case can be made for big game hunting.  Some say it pays for conservation.  Maybe.  But I don’t like it and I don’t like this dentist jerk.

Still what he did happens all the time.  Big game hunters pay big bucks to kill big bucks and other exotic animals.  We never hear about it.  What makes this killing so despicable?  Why is this dentist forced into hiding?  

Sure the lion was apparently lured out of a sanctuary to be killed.  Maybe the dentist didn’t know it was protected, he paid big money for guides to know what was legal.  This despicable killing of a beautiful creature that is, I believe endangered, made headlines because the lion had a name.  The lion had a cute name.  Cecil the lion. 

He killed Cecil! 

This is the biggest crime since the brutal murder of Bambi’s mother.

Killing Cecil was a despicable act in my opinion, but was it as disgusting as ISIS filming the beheadings of multiple Muslims that disagreed with the despicable ISIS ideology?

 ISIS has committed horrible…outrageous…inhuman atrocities and they get negative press, but not the same vitriol as that reserved for this big game hunting dentist.

Perhaps when ISIS publishes these disgusting murders we should name the victims. 

It is disturbing to see five humans beheaded,  but to see “Ackmed the tailor”, “Abdul the farmer”,  “Hakeem the clerk”,  “Majeed the doctor” and “Aaban the teacher” brutally tortured and killed might outrage the civilized world as much as reading about the killing of an animal.

It is important to put a name on murder.  The act of a random disturbed person does not evoke the rage that a brutal murder in the name of “Radical Muslim Terrorism” does. 

Too often today violence is minimized by terminology.  Murder is called execution, terrorists are radicals.

Christians are rounded up and murdered or sold to sex slavery and it is because of a difference of religious opinion.  Muslims kill other Muslims for a difference in belief.  Jews are hated and need to be eliminated because it says so in the Koran (So I have been told), when does it end.

Perhaps we should give every victim a name. 

Perhaps we should show every victim’s family in mourning.

Perhaps if we put a name to the victims of terrorism, outrageous acts of inconceivable violence will receive the same justifiable vitriol, disgust and desire for revenge as does the killing of a lion, not just any lion.

Cecil the lion.

The preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky…who by the way loves lions more than any animal on earth and is very angry about Cecil!