MAN’s INHUMANITY TO MAN

MAN’s INHUMANITY TO MAN

 

One of the few things I like about being old is I can now admit when I don’t understand what something means.  When you’re young and you don’t understand something that everyone else seems to get, you just nod your head and act like, “Yeah, I get it.”

When I was a college student, I Walked out of that classic movie “2001 A Space Odyssey” and the entire theater was in awe of how powerful this movie was.  “Oh man, that was powerful, and the symbolism!  Did you see those dancing apes, and the talking computers?  What a message!”

Me?  Not a clue, but so as not to look like a jerk I would go along with it.

“Wow that was something!  I hear that message loud and clear!” Truthfully I never understood that movie, now as an old geezer I can admit I hated that movie and I don’t care what the critics say, that movie sucked.  It sucked big time!

When I was young, you would never admit to not understanding anything about sex, sports, or all things manly.  Now, I freely admit that I know very little about those things.  I’m not sure what the difference is, maybe it’s just like “Hey, I may not know stuff but Dammit come see me when you’ve made it past 65 you young shit!"

Anyway.

In school there was always one thing that I never understood, now I gotta ask, and I know there are some teachers out there.

What in Sam Hill does “Man’s inhumanity to man” mean.   In every English class I ever had and with every book or story we ever read, the teacher would ask, “What is the theme of this story?”

According to Wikipedia, the theme is “the central message of a literary work. It is not the same as a subject or plot.” 

OK…I still don’t know what that means, and I sure never knew what it meant in school.  However, after four years of high school it did finally sink in on me that no matter what book or story we read, apparently the “Overriding theme” of everything ever written is “Man’s inhumanity to man.”

That’s right, I still don’t know what that means, but according to every English teacher I ever had, “Man’s inhumanity to man” is the theme to everything.

So before Herman Melville sat down to scratch out Moby Dick he thought, “Hmmm…I’d really like to demonstrate ‘Man’s inhumanity to man.’  I know…a dude obsessed with catching a big fish!”

Mark Twain felt the best way to show “Man’s inhumanity to man” was to put two kids on a raft.

“Class, what is the theme of “2001 A Space Odyssey?”

“Progress isn’t always good?”

“No”

“Evolution never stops?”

“No”

“People have to learn to work together?”

“No”

“The theme of that movie is ‘Man’s inhumanity to man!’”

Why?  Because apparently the theme to everything is “Man’s inhumanity to man.”  Don’t ask me, that is what I learned in English class.

Well now after all those years of suffering through English class I finally have to ask,

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?

OK, I don’t know what “Sam Hill” is either.

YOU’RE GOOD FOR YOUR AGE

YOU’RE GOOD FOR YOUR AGE

 

“You’re good for your age!”

Growing up with two older brothers I heard this a lot.  Whatever I did, in order to keep me happy, I was told I was good for my age.  Older brothers are like that.  Shoot some hoops, clang the ball off the rim and you hear, “Not bad, you’re good for your age.”  Go bowling and manage to hit a pin, “Wow Joe, that’s good for your age.”  Race your brothers,  lose by a mile and still, “Yeah, but you’re fast for your age.”

I played golf very good for my age; I mowed the lawn good…considering my age. I rode a bike, swam, lifted weights, played football or baseball; I did all these things very good for my age.

And yet.

As I grew older I never excelled at any of these things.  I was OK.  I was pretty good, but within my age I was not much better than average.  I was not good for my age, I was average for my age.

When you are young and told you’re “Good for your age,” you have high expectations.  It is very disappointing to find you are only at best a little above average. 

Eventually you accept reality.  

There is nothing wrong with being average or maybe even a little better than average.  You grow older and you learn to adjust your expectations.  You realize that maybe instead of your brothers telling you that you sucked at something; they were just being nice when they diplomatically told you, “You’re good…for your age.

Last year I was playing golf with my grown son.  I hit several drives onto the fairway almost 200 yards long.  I was a little discouraged as a few years before I could hit the ball 225 to 250. 

My spirits were lifted when my son told me, “You know dad, you’re pretty good…I mean…for your age!”

IDENTITY THEFT- a Cranky re-run

IDENTITY THEFT

This re-run is from June 2012

Identity theft is a common problem in today’s digital age.  Once someone steals your identity he can drain your bank or brokerage account and take out credit cards with your name and your credit rating and use them to the max.  Getting out from under identity fraud is a long, arduous and expensive task.  You may never get your credit rating back.  Experts constantly warn that the most important advice to avoiding identity theft is to never give  your Name, SS #, or birth date to a stranger, except:

To your Doctor’s receptionist – assuming you want to see the doctor.

Your Investment advisor’s secretary or your bank’s manager – Assuming you want to make an investment or open a checking account.

Your motor vehicle clerk – assuming you want a driver’s license or need to register your car.

Your insurance agent or representative – assuming you want health, car or life insurance.

Any store that you are applying to for credit – assuming you want to buy stuff.

Hardly a day goes by where some legitimate entity doesn’t demand to know my name, birth date, and social security number.

But then what is to worry about?  Why would a doctor’s receptionist want to take my information and sell it to someone looking to steal my identity?  Don’t doctor’s receptionists get paid huge salaries?  Why would they need extra money from selling my information?   Drugs?  How would a doctor’s receptionist get access to drugs?  No worries Ms. Snediker, you seem like a nice person do you need my bank account too?

Why shouldn’t I trust any secretary, clerk, doctor or lawyer?  These people never have money problems, divorce, gambling or drinking issues.  They could have no incentive to sell my sensitive information could they?  Here take all my information…no problem!

Years ago, I volunteered to be a little league manager or coach.  I was told they would need my social security number.  “Why?”  I was told so they could run a security check on me, but not to worry, no information would be given to anyone but the Little League national organization.  It was all perfectly safe.

Two years later the same person who assured me the information was safe, the President of the local league, was arrested for stealing from his neighbors because his business went bankrupt, he couldn’t pay his mortgage and didn’t want his wife to find out.  Fortunately my personal information which could have been used to steal my identity was untouched.

What the Hell am I worried about?

My name is Cranky Oldman.  I was born September 31, 1946. My social security number is 555-fuc-kyou.