DRIVING TIPS TO SAVE GAS II

DRIVING TIPS TO SAVE GAS II

Last May I submitted a post on “Driving Tips to Save Gas”

http://joeh-crankyoldman.blogspot.com/2011/05/driving-tips-to-save-gas.html

It was a facetious piece making fun of all the tips to save gas that I read on-line.  The final tally demonstrated that if you follow all these tips you can actually use negative MPG and fill up your tank by driving.

It is that time of year again and here is an article which does exactly what my satirical piece did.

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/how-to-get--2-per-gallon-gas.html  

 Efficient driving and shopping tactics can translate to big savings at the pump – An article from Smart Money

Here is a summary of the article:

De-clutter
Savings: Up to 7 cents per gallon.

Every 100 pounds of added weight in a car reduces its fuel economy by up to 2%. That works out to paying an extra four to seven cents per gallon. Hauling a cargo carrier, bikes, kayaks or other gear atop the car for a road trip is worse, decreasing fuel economy by 5%.

Weigh payment methods
Savings: Up to 19 cents per gallon

As gas prices rise, many credit cards' reward caps on gas purchases kick in…Stations may offer discounts of up to 10 cents per gallon for drivers who eschew plastic.

Drive responsibly
Savings: Up to $1.27 per gallon.

By the U.S. Department of Energy's estimates, each 5 mph one drives over 60 mph adds $0.30 per gallon to the gas bill. Aggressive stops and starts waste another 33% at highway speeds and about 5% at slower, local speed limits.

Use grocery discounts
Savings: Up to $2.20 per gallon.

Create a fuel-efficient route
Savings: Up to 30 cents per gallon.

It's possible to cut down on mileage just by running a few errands on the same trip, and choosing more efficient routes

Using all these saving tips adds up to $3.96 savings per gallon.  The recent gas price in my area of New Jersey was about $3.60 per gallon.

If I can gain $0.36 per gallon, I am going to use these tips and go for a long drive.  I can use the money!

HEADLINES 032512

HEADLINES 032512

Sunday is time for Cranky's Headlines and stupid sophmoric comments:

Former Mr. Universe turns 100 in India – That’s 28 in steroid years

Florida atheists ‘unbless’ highway with ‘unholy water’ – So Atheists believe “Ugga­­­­_­­ Booga” will trump “Abbra Cadabra?”  

Filmmaker behind Kony video held for public masturbation – So the guy who is fucking an entire country is free and the guy who documented it is jailed for jerking off?

New Hampshire woman faces legal action, fines for planting flowers at condominium – New Hampshire is determined to end the flower planting scourge.

University: Classes No Longer Cancelled For Christian, Jewish Holidays- President declares the move was made to make up for school closings on Ramadan and International Atheists Day

President Obama uses sign language during impromptu greeting with student – Big deal; I use sign language all the time while driving.  It is how I communicate to other drivers that they might be annoying me with their driving ability.

How To Use Natural Birth Control – Don’t bathe; don’t shave legs or armpits, wear pantyhose.  (Some or all of these techniques may have adverse results in mid-east countries.)   

How NASCAR is coping with its slipping audience – Organization has decided to clean up oil spills and stop selling bananas.

USGS confirms micro-quake in Wisconsin city plagued by mysterious booming sounds – Wisconsin children are urged to not pull Grandpa’s finger!

Pat Robertson believes Peyton Manning should get hurt this year – In Tebow’s name we prey.   How very Christian!

Minnesota Teen: No Prom Date with Porn Star – Teen says, “I wasn’t planning on dancing anyway!”

Fla. man wins nat'l memory contest held in NYC – Man failed to claim his trophy says, “I forgot.”

Australian rescued after three-day croc ordeal – Aussie stated, “These shoes are as uncomfortable as they are ugly!”

I have removed comment verification, so talk to me - Cranky 
 

GUARANTEES

GUARANTEES

This post almost made it to delete, but I am running out of material and Saturday is a slow day so here it is.  My apologies, better stuff (I think) is coming next week.

Mrs. Cranky and I bought a new dishwasher this week.  It is a brand new Whirlpool purchased from Sears for $500.  The salesman explained how this unit was efficient, quiet, and left the dishes clean and dry.  I was not so interested in efficient and quiet; clean and dry got my attention.  Our current dishwasher is quiet, I guess it is efficient, but it does not clean or dry the dishes.  I wanted to replace our dish-rinser with a dish washer. 

The salesman extolled the virtues and the reliability of this machine.  He then tried to sell me a three year guarantee for one hundred and twenty-five dollars.

I thought that was rather expensive, and told the salesman as much.

“If this machine is so reliable, why would I need to pay an extra 25% for insurance that it will work?”

“Do you know how expensive it is to call a repairman?”

“No, because I have not had an appliance break down in less than three years after purchase since they stopped making TV’s with tubes.  Does your guarantee pay for a new machine, or a prorated machine?  Is everything guaranteed or just the parts that never break and do you guarantee that I will be able to find the freaking guarantee three years from now to prove that I paid for it in the first place?”

“Well…”

“I have my own guarantee.  If this thing breaks down in less than one year, I guarantee I will be marching through this store with a ‘Sears Sucks’ sign until I get my money back or you have me arrested.  Further, can you guarantee Sears will still be in business in three years?  Have you seen your stock lately?

“Then I guess you don’t want the guarantee?”

“No thank you.”

Do you buy a guarantee because it is a good idea or because you feel not buying it will jinx the product?