SIBLING RIVALRY

SIBLING RIVALRY

There is much talk about bullying these days, but not much about sibling rivalry.  Some of the biggest bullies are big brothers.  I had two big brothers.  Jim six years my elder did not pick on me very much, he had Chris, who was four years older than I, to pick on.  I was Chris’ bullying target. 

The bullying went Jim to Chris, Chris to Joe, Joe to….damn.  The thing about brothers is the youngest probably deserves to be picked on.  I know I was a pain in the ass to my brothers, and I also was horning in on their allotted time of Parental attention. 

Another thing about brothers is that as much as Chris picked on me, I had a protector from other older kids.  Chris could tease and or torture me, but woe to the interloper who tried to join in on the fun.
 
Mom was no real help in limiting the bullying.  When I went to her to throw my brother under the bus she would say, “Oh just ignore him” or “Well just stay away from him then.”  Actually that was good advice, but I would not stay away, I always wanted to get in on the “big guy” stuff.

Chris never physically hurt me, he specialized in torture.  His favorite form of torture was the “lugee (a sticky glob of spit) slurp.”  Chris would get on top of me, pin my shoulders and arms with his knees, and then hang a lugee right over my screaming mouth.  At the last second he would slurp the lugee and laugh as I would nearly throw-up at the thought of him letting it drop.  Apparently this trick was taught to Chris the hard way by Jim.

On one disgusting torture session, the lugee dropped; right in my mouth.  Ewe…yuck…gag!  Chris laughed, although I think he was a bit grossed out himself, and I nearly threw up.  That was the end of that particular mode of torture.  The mere thought of a dropped lugee drove me to “crazy” strength and I could not be held down.

This summer, my oldest son, Mike, was visiting from Colorado.  We got to talking about the sibling rivalry between him and his older sister and his younger brother.  At one point, Mike started laughing as he told me, “The worst thing I ever did to Matt, was I used to pin his arms with my knees, and fake dropping a lugee into his mouth.  One day I slurped too late, and it went right into his mouth.  After that, I never had enough strength to hold him down like that again.”

The circle of strife!

When I baby sit on Thursdays for Matt’s two toddlers and I watch the interaction between these brothers, I can’t help but think that poor Connor has a saliva slurpee in his future.  

SOCIAL NETWORKING

SOCIAL NETWORKING

I don’t understand social networking.  I mean I sort of get it, but some stuff just escapes me.  I have a twitter account and I actually tweet from time to time.  I have a facebook account and I sign on regularly.  I think I have an account with links-something and even a few others.  I don’t use them, don’t remember why I signed up, and have not a clue what my sign-on and passwords are.

For an old guy, even knowing what a tweet is or having a facebook account is a bit unusual.  Many of my elder acquaintances not only do not have accounts, these networks make them angry.  I mean really angry.  If you even mention them to these geezers you get a tirade of how these networks are commie, pinko organizations designed to steal information, control our thoughts and turn us all into lock-step zombie-like pawns of an evil empire.

I think Twitter is great for getting out information quickly to a group of friends.  Instead of multiple text messages to convey important information to your friends you make one tweet.  Facebook is not only great for keeping up with friends but is a tool to find and reconnect with old friends from high school, college and work.

I originally signed up to facebook to play on-line poker with friends.  I signed up to twitter to try and promote my book, and my blog.  I have 80 friends on facebook.  I probably have ten friends in real life.  I follow 30 people on Twitter, and about 30 follow me.  Most of my facebook “friends” are seldom on-line and still I can’t keep up with all of the messaging and updates.  Few of my Twitter follows are close friends and I skip through the majority of the tweets.

I understand reaching out to old friends and acquaintances.  I understand relaying important messages to multiple people.  I don’t understand 3000+ friends on facebook.  I don’t understand tweeting, “Just woke up and had to pee.”  I have followed interesting people on twitter that tweet every 3 minutes.  I had to unfollow.   If you follow 1000 people and get an alert for every tweet on your smart phone, how do you ever get anything done?
TV ads for annoying institution like Insurance Companies, Used Car Dealers and Lawyers all tell us to find them on www.blahblah, friend on Facebook and follow on Twitter.  I can understand getting further information for one of these entities on the internet, but who or why would anyone friend or follow them?  I have to put up with their TV ads, do I really need to get their tweets and facebook updates?

Please, someone please explain to me who are the 682 people that follow “Pabst Blue Ribbon” and get 27 tweets everyday like this:

PabstBlueRibbonPabst Blue Ribbon

It's PBR time! Just like it's been for the past 118 years.

WTF???

Too much information is like hoarding.  It will clutter and control your life.  Too many “friends” is like having too much stuff.  You can only live in one house at a time or drive one car.  The more stuff you have the less you value it.  It is impossible to truly value thousands of friends.  I prefer a small dinner gathering of six or eight people to a cocktail party of eighty.

I gotta end this, I have to take a leak, and then have lunch, then go to the gym, then check my email and Facebook and Twitter, then eat dinner, watch TV, use the bathroom, brush my teeth, and go to sleep.  In the morning I plan to wake up and then…..what the hell, just follow me on Twitter and friend me on Facebook and you will know everything.

TODDLER TALK VI

TODDLER TALK VI

Last week’s Toddler Talk quiz word was “PRENZIL”

          ronetta cheryll said...

i could be wrong, considering how creative your crankettes are, but i'm torn between pretzel and pencil!

*please give me a whoop tee do, please give me a whoop tee do" :)

-SO CLOSE Ronetta, but you have to at least settle on one guess to get a Whoop-Tee-Doo

Lacey said...

Well, I was going to say the same thing as Ronetta, either pretzel or pencil. Damn.

I'll just go with pencil, because prenzil is really close to how my brother pronounced pencil as a kid. Course, he also used to think that he could fly if he jumped off the roof.

- There you have it, the 50 50 90 rule if you have a 50/50 chance of the right answer you will be wrong 90% of the time!

 Lou said...

My vote is for pencil too!

Somehow I think it is going to be neither pencil or pretzel and probably something really obscure like 'I love Denzel' ( as in Washington of course)

Lou :-)

Oh, so close once again, 50 50 90! Denzel was a great guess if the Toddler in question was….ah…YOU!

Kitti Redcoat said...

Yay! I won a whoop-tee-doo! Thanks Cranky!

Kitty was so thrilled about her last week's win she would not offer a guess!

Katrina said...

"I have pretzel?"

And we have a winner! Here it comes Katrina…

WHOOP-TEE-DOO!!

This week’s Toddler Talk quiz word once again comes from Crankette COLE:

“WAMAWA”

            Used in a Toddler sentence “My Daddy use da WAMAWA.”

As always, the winner gets a Whoop-Tee-Doo.

           GOOD LUCK!