It was 1 AM. Mrs. C and I had put away our PC’s. The TV and cable were set to go off in 90 minutes, and our latest favorite falling asleep in bed show “The Walton’s” was on.
“Good night Mrs. C.”
“Good night Cranky Old Man.”
Before I drifted off to sleep a shadow passed over the light cast by the TV set. It was huge.
“Wake up! There is a large bat in the room!”
It passed the set again, just a moth.
“It’s just a moth, it won’t hurt anything, go to sleep.”
“I can’t sleep with that thing in the room.”
I got out of bed, grabbed my electric swatter and with my hobbled bad back gait set off to electrocute the intruder.
Hitting a moth with a swatter is like making contact with a Phil Niekro knuckleball. It ain’t easy. I flailed away and several times almost fell over in the attempt. Finally it flew above then on top the headboard on the bed.
I climbed gingerly up the bed ready to take on Mothra. He was gone.
“He’s gone, go to sleep.”
I went back to bed.
“Not with that creature still in the room…wait; there he is again in front of the TV.”
We both crawled out of bed, Mrs. C now with the electric swatter, I grabbed a magazine. We were about to pounce when the TV went temporarily blank for a commercial break and Mothra disappeared.
“Just wait, he will be back.”
And after a few minutes he did come back to that moth attracting TV light. I went to swat it against the screen.
“If you break the TV, I will kill you!”
I held up and Mrs. C trapped it resting on the TV stand but blocked so she could not press down to electrocute the beast.
“Get a tissue!”
“Let me smack it.”
“GET A TISSUE!”
I quick grabbed a tissue and as she lifted the trapping swatter I tissued the creature.
Mothra squished and flushed down the toilet; we went back to bed.
Mrs. C was asleep in about 12 seconds because she can just do that.
I had mass quantities of adrenaline rushing through my veins. I had to re-adjust the TV and cable timers and was up for two episodes of “The Walton’s” before I finally fell asleep.
It is never dull around the Cranky House.