EXTRA STRENGTH

 

EXTRA STRENGTH

 

What is it with products that are “Extra Strength”?

I have been using a product for arthritis, HempVana.  Mrs. C tells me,

“There is a new “EXTRA STRENGTH” HempVana out, do you want to try it?”

“No, I’ll just stick with regular strength, I’m in no hurry to cure my painful joints.  I can suffer a little longer…OF COURSE get the EXTRA STRENGTH!”

Why do companies sell anything but EXTRA STRENGTH?  There should be no regular strength and one EXTRA STRENGTH.  It makes no sense.

I guess people just like the idea of stepping it up a notch.

EXTRA STRENGTH Aspirin or regular” …” hmm, I don’t want to hurt my headache, let me just go with the regular,” said on one ever!

Same thing with appliances.  We have a blender with seven speeds.  For what? 

The old blender my mom used had one speed…FAST.  I don’t recall ever thinking, “Damn, I wish I could mix my milkshake up a little slower!” 

Granted with our seven-speed mixer I use all speeds, but I always end up on HIGH.  I’ve got seven speeds, I am damn well going to use them all, but eventually I plan to mix the crap out of what ever is in my blender!

Why does my electric razor have three speeds?  Like if I’m not in a hurry to go somewhere I’ll just shave on low? Makes zero sense.

When Mrs. C dries her hair, she always uses the high heat.  Even if she is not in a hurry, she uses high heat.  Does anyone dry their hair on LOW?

“I might be a while, I’m drying my hair on LOW.”

“Why?”

“Because if you dry your hair too fast it might…your right, let me kick it up a notch, I’ll be done in a minute.”

Even my electric toothbrush has multiple speeds.  WHY? Does high speed wear your teeth down faster?  I don’t know about you, but I brush on HIGH…I’m a dare devil.

When I had to mow my lawn, my electric lawn mower only had one speed. 

I’ve never heard of a chain saw having multiple speeds. 

Why do we want a choice on personal products, but when it comes to yard work, we just want to cut the crap out of stuff?

Do they sell varmint poisons in various strengths? I mean maybe there are some people who don’t want to kill off mice and rats too quickly.  If you buy regular strength rat poison does that make you a sensitive person, or does it make you a sadist?

Why have I waited six weeks to post anything and then wasted your time with this drivel?

Maybe I’m trying to develop an EXTRA STRENGTH Blog.

BTW, this post can be read slowly, regular or extra fast…your decision.

 

I HATE WELLS FARGO BANK

 

I HATE WELLS FARGO BANK

There, I used the word HATE, so GOOGLE will probably not allow anyone to read this dangerous post, but Mrs. C is in Greece with her sister and a friend for “Girl’s week out” and I have no one else to rant to.

That she is in Greece is why I have an issue with WELLS FARGO BANK. 

This is the bank that has been in trouble for opening bull shit accounts to meet quotas or some such shenanigans. 

This is the bank that once made me give them a thumb print in order to deposit money into my own account (I still don’t understand or remember the reasoning).

This is the bank that charged me $2 every time I took cash out of a non- WELLS FARGO ATM.  I was not advised of this charge, and my statement had so many little $1 cash adjustments from my checking account to my savings account (Also don’t know why; some method to boost savings or something) that I overlooked the $2 charges for over a year.

So today I go to the bank to deposit money for our monthly expenses.  We do this every month.  I write a check from my account at another bank and Mrs. C deposits it into her account to pay bills.

Why don’t we just have a joint account?  No reason, we just don’t.

Anyway as Mrs. C is in Greece this month it was my job to make the deposit.  She had the check written plus some cash and a deposit slip all made out and clipped together.

“I know you hate this bank, but all you have to do is hand them the slip, the check and the cash.”

“HA!”

I go to the bank, and slide the check, cash, and slip to the cashier.  For some reason with this bank, I always feel like I am doing something illegal. 

They did not disappoint.

“Is this a joint account?”

“No, it is my wife’s account with a different name; she kept her last name just in case this marriage thing does not work out.”

“Well, we can’t accept this.”

“Ah, I am putting money in, not talking out.  If the check bounces you will just adjust her account, we can’t use the money until the check clears.”

“Oh, the check from another bank is not the problem, we can’t take the cash.”

“What?”

“We can’t take the cash unless you have a joint account.”

“What.”

“We can’t take the cash unless you have a joint account.”

“Um, you know that is incredibly stupid, don’t you?”

“Yes, we do, this is WELLS FARGO, we are incredibly stupid…your lucky we don’t ask for a thumb print.”

“So, can I deposit the cash in my WELLS FARGO account and write another check?”

“Yes.”

“Buy I don’t have a check with me.”

“We can make out a cashier’s check for you.”

“You know this is really stupid, don’t you?”

“Yes, this is WELLS FARGO BANK.”

After only 30 minutes the transaction was completed.  The cashier was very helpful.  It was not her fault that she works for WELLS FARGO BANK.

I hate WELLS FARGO BANK!

 

 

 

 

GOOGLE IS WATCHING

 

GOOGLE IS WATCHING

 

It has been a few months since my last post.  I used to post almost every day.  Every day for 13 years, almost 4000 posts.  Now some of my posts may have been political, clearly a forbitten subject today, especially if you favored the wrong politic.  Many of my early posts contained “bad” words.  I assume, that by virtue of having an opinion I offended some folks, but never did I receive an admonition from GOOGLE.

Until today.  Today, after not posting for three months I received a GOOGLE wrist slap.

WTF?

I was sent an email which advised the following:

Your post titled "HEADLINES 123111" has been put behind a warning for readers

Your post titled "HEADLINES 123111" was flagged to us for review. This post was put behind a warning for readers because it contains sensitive content; the post is visible at http://joeh-crankyoldman.blogspot.com/2012/01/headlines-123111.html. Your blog readers must acknowledge the warning before being able to read the post/blog.

GOOGLE has suddenly decided readers must be warned about one of my posts submitted 12 years ago.

I used to submit weekly a “Stupid Headlines” post.  I would scour the news for strangely worded headlines and then add a clever comment to the headline.  These “Stupid Headlines” posts were never all that well received, but they used to crack me up even if no one else seemed to find them humorous.

Anyway, what could I have said the it took GOOGLE 12 years to find that it was objectionable and needed a warning?

Apparently GOOGLE must have recently run all their blogs from the beginning of the world through a program with some kind of algorithms that catch offensive material.   I guess that is part of the AI (Artificial Intelligence) issue that is in the news and has smart people worried.

Of course I had to go back in time and read this GOOGLE warned post to see what I wrote that was so scary.

There was this:

Same-sex families pay thousands of dollars more in taxes- Gay community asserts the higher taxes are worth it to not have to live with the opposite sex.

It does mention sex, but is that offensive?  Do you need to be warned before reading? Maybe “WARNING, ONLY CRANKY OLD MEN WILL FIND THIS TO BE FUNNY”.  Anyway, this could not be it.

Maybe it was:

Man Dials 911, Lodges Complaint About Hookers – Claims he wasn’t screwed.

It does mention hookers and screwed, but…really?

Maybe it was this one:

Obesity linked to older adults' risk of falls- Researchers also find a link between obesity and overeating, obesity and stains on ties, obesity and large pant size and obesity and flatulence.

Can you no longer even mention fat people? IS that fat shaming? Can’t be, could it?

How about this one:

Egyptian Court Bans Military 'Virginity Tests' on Female Detainees – Egyptian Military no longer able to ask female detainees, “Do you know what a virgin is?”

Is “virgin” wrong? Is this demeaning to woman? I thought it was funny.

Then Mrs. C found the headline that proves that artificial intelligence can be dangerous:

Porn Film Condom Proposal Qualifies for Los Angeles Ballot, But City Objects – Four out of five doctors claim that condoms on porn films will have little effect in preventing venereal diseases, but may prevent little baby porn films.

I thought it was funny.  Instead of the actors required to use condoms I read it as putting condoms on the actual film which would prevent little baby porn films.

Once again, I thought this was funny.  Apparently, I was the only one that thought this headline play on words was funny, but clearly not offensive or perverted…until

Mrs. C figured,

“Perhaps just the term ‘little baby porn films’ was interpreted as BABY porn, not little baby films prevented by putting condoms on the actual film. (Stupid, but harmless…and yes once again I thought it was funny.)

So, there you have it. GOOGLE is out to save you from A Cranky Old Man’s very bad sense of humor.

You have been warned.

I assume I will receive another email based on the content of this post.

Sigh….