This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Wednesday, December 15, 2021

Christmas Smells


Christmas Smells

Now I know that Christmas is not far away.  I just noticed my first “Smell” commercial.  They’ve probably been going on for a while, I only just noticed.

Christmas “Smells” sell.  They sell especially as the day comes near and spouses and or boyfriend/girlfriends start the last minute gift panic.  Apparently you can’t go wrong giving Christmas “Smells.”

I say “Smells” because they have so many names.  Christmas “Smells” are called perfume, parfum, cologne, after shave and (I never understood this one) TOILET WATER!

I believe that perfume is for ladies, parfum is for fancy ladies, cologne is for men, after shave is for teenage boys that don’t shave yet.  TOILET WATER must be for someone you don’t really like.

It seems to me that lately people do not use perfume, parfum, cologne, after shave very much anymore, but these “Smells” are still an easy quick last second gift.

The receiver can gush “Oh, this is my favorite smell” (“fragrance” if it is parfum) and never have to use the stuff.  The gift proves that the giver cares and the receiver is happy to just know that.  The actual gift can always be part of next year’s office “Secret Santa.”

I have done some research and it turns out there are 1273 different perfume, parfum, cologne, after shave’s and TOILET WATER’s on the market, so there must be a lot of last minute gift buying panic every year. 

Does anyone buy this crap during the rest of the year?

The commercials never sell the “Smell” they sell the mood or the moment. 

Good looking people in exotic places smile, while the wind makes their clothes flow seductively. 

“’Ode de Expensive’ by Lancalm, because she knows you care!”


A dude marching through the woods in hunting gear.

“’Buckskin’ because he is a real man!”

You never see a commercial of an average looking couple walking hand and hand

“’Coverup’ because people like people that smell good!”

Who wears these smells these days?

I know teenage boys wear the stuff.  That’s because teenage girls while practicing flirting will ask them, “What is that you are wearing, it smells yummy.” They know it doesn’t, but what else do you say when learning how to flirt?

Teenage boys believe them, and being boys, decide that if a little smells yummy, a lot will send the ladies over the moon.  Fortunately it is all just a phase.

Point is, I don’t think most people use the stuff anymore.  At least I don’t notice it these days, and it used to be overpowering.

Still, Christmas “Smells” must sell like crazy, because all 1273 brands are all over the TV this time of the year.

I might send some to my ex-wives.  Just to show I do have some class, I will flush before I fill the bottle.



  1. Heh, heh! You need a late-night infomercial touting your TOILET WATER! I bet you could sell a lot of it. The buyer would have the excuse that they thought it was a classy product with a clever name. Because who would buy, gift, or wear TOILET WATER?

  2. The manufacturers have missed a marketing trick. They should make smells that are personal to the receiver; that would be a worth-while gift which shows that the giver cares.

    For example: after-shave lotion which smells of pizza, or KFC or whatever the receiver loves. Or smells of garlic. Fish and chips would sell well in the UK. Or motor oil, freshly cut grass. You get the idea, and I'm sure you can think of others, JoeH.

    I wrote to a number of manufacturers and they ignored me. I'm not appreciated in my own time.

    God bless.

  3. I've got to say, when I was a kid (teenager) and I got a gift of after shaves (it was a three-bottle set!) I was thrilled that somebody was acknowledging my manhood. Either that or they were appalled by my odor.

  4. Use to love perfumes for me and after shaves on men but you are right, it has lost favor. Oddly don't miss it. Clean smells nice. Never understood where the term Toilet Water came from

  5. English Leather..Old Spice. Those were the go to for Dad when I was little. With 6 kids he never ran out! Poor Dad! Tigress for Mom. One of my brother's girlfriends announced she HATED that smell not realizing it was Mom's fav. Oops. My brother married her anyway and I'm assuming Mom forgave her! When I see Johnny Depp and the wolves while he strums his guitar annoyingly I try and figure out what that has to do with anything, especially "smell good" as my kids called it when they were little. He looks like he needs a does the wolf.

  6. I had a bottle of what I thought was English Leather after shave in my medicine cabinet for years, decades maybe. I occasionally put some on after I shave the parts of my face that aren't covered with beard. But I wasn't sure of the name so I went to check and found out it WASN'T after shave but, in big letters on the front of the little bottle, A MAN'S COLOGNE! I am such an idiot.

  7. Toilet Water is an interpretation of what used to be called "Eau de Toilette" and is a watered down version of a more expensive perfume. The "toilette" part belongs to the days when ladies had "boudoirs" and I believe there was a lot of talcum powder used in those days too.

  8. Thank you, I sort of knew this, but I didn't think Eau de Toilette was as funny as Toilet Water.

  9. Grandma loves her scents, but a bottle lasts her a couple of years so this year she is getting socks (and i generally buy it for her as a birthday gift anyway).

    Toilette used to refer not to the throne itself but to all of the preparations you made when getting dressed, cleaning, brushing hair, putting on scent and donning your clothing.