Christmas Smells
Now I know that Christmas is not far away. I just noticed my first “Smell” commercial. They’ve probably been going on for a while, I only just noticed.
Christmas “Smells”
sell. They sell especially as the day
comes near and spouses and or boyfriend/girlfriends start the last minute gift panic. Apparently you can’t go wrong giving Christmas
“Smells.”
I say “Smells”
because they have so many names.
Christmas “Smells” are called perfume, parfum, cologne, after shave and
(I never understood this
one) TOILET WATER!
I believe that
perfume is for ladies, parfum is for fancy ladies, cologne is for men, after
shave is for teenage boys that don’t shave yet.
TOILET WATER must be for someone you don’t really like.
It seems to
me that lately people do not use perfume, parfum, cologne, after shave very
much anymore, but these “Smells” are still an easy quick last second gift.
The receiver
can gush “Oh, this is my favorite smell” (“fragrance” if it is parfum)
and never have to use the stuff. The
gift proves that the giver cares and the receiver is happy to just know that. The actual gift can always be part of next
year’s office “Secret Santa.”
I have done
some research and it turns out there are 1273 different perfume, parfum,
cologne, after shave’s and TOILET WATER’s on the market, so there must
be a lot of last minute gift buying panic every year.
Does anyone
buy this crap during the rest of the year?
The commercials
never sell the “Smell” they sell the mood or the moment.
Good looking
people in exotic places smile, while the wind makes their clothes flow
seductively.
“’Ode
de Expensive’ by Lancalm, because she knows you care!”
Or
A dude
marching through the woods in hunting gear.
“’Buckskin’
because he is a real man!”
You never
see a commercial of an average looking couple walking hand and hand
“’Coverup’
because people like people that smell good!”
Who wears
these smells these days?
I know
teenage boys wear the stuff. That’s
because teenage girls while practicing flirting will ask them, “What is that
you are wearing, it smells yummy.” They know it doesn’t, but what else do
you say when learning how to flirt?
Teenage boys
believe them, and being boys, decide that if a little smells yummy, a lot will
send the ladies over the moon. Fortunately
it is all just a phase.
Point is, I
don’t think most people use the stuff anymore.
At least I don’t notice it these days, and it used to be overpowering.
Still, Christmas
“Smells” must sell like crazy, because all 1273 brands are all over the TV this
time of the year.
I might send
some to my ex-wives. Just to show I do
have some class, I will flush before I fill the bottle.
Heh, heh! You need a late-night infomercial touting your TOILET WATER! I bet you could sell a lot of it. The buyer would have the excuse that they thought it was a classy product with a clever name. Because who would buy, gift, or wear TOILET WATER?
ReplyDeleteThe manufacturers have missed a marketing trick. They should make smells that are personal to the receiver; that would be a worth-while gift which shows that the giver cares.
ReplyDeleteFor example: after-shave lotion which smells of pizza, or KFC or whatever the receiver loves. Or smells of garlic. Fish and chips would sell well in the UK. Or motor oil, freshly cut grass. You get the idea, and I'm sure you can think of others, JoeH.
I wrote to a number of manufacturers and they ignored me. I'm not appreciated in my own time.
God bless.
I've got to say, when I was a kid (teenager) and I got a gift of after shaves (it was a three-bottle set!) I was thrilled that somebody was acknowledging my manhood. Either that or they were appalled by my odor.
ReplyDeleteUse to love perfumes for me and after shaves on men but you are right, it has lost favor. Oddly don't miss it. Clean smells nice. Never understood where the term Toilet Water came from
ReplyDeleteEnglish Leather..Old Spice. Those were the go to for Dad when I was little. With 6 kids he never ran out! Poor Dad! Tigress for Mom. One of my brother's girlfriends announced she HATED that smell not realizing it was Mom's fav. Oops. My brother married her anyway and I'm assuming Mom forgave her! When I see Johnny Depp and the wolves while he strums his guitar annoyingly I try and figure out what that has to do with anything, especially "smell good" as my kids called it when they were little. He looks like he needs a bath..so does the wolf.
ReplyDeleteI had a bottle of what I thought was English Leather after shave in my medicine cabinet for years, decades maybe. I occasionally put some on after I shave the parts of my face that aren't covered with beard. But I wasn't sure of the name so I went to check and found out it WASN'T after shave but, in big letters on the front of the little bottle, A MAN'S COLOGNE! I am such an idiot.
ReplyDeleteToilet Water is an interpretation of what used to be called "Eau de Toilette" and is a watered down version of a more expensive perfume. The "toilette" part belongs to the days when ladies had "boudoirs" and I believe there was a lot of talcum powder used in those days too.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I sort of knew this, but I didn't think Eau de Toilette was as funny as Toilet Water.
ReplyDeleteGrandma loves her scents, but a bottle lasts her a couple of years so this year she is getting socks (and i generally buy it for her as a birthday gift anyway).
ReplyDeleteToilette used to refer not to the throne itself but to all of the preparations you made when getting dressed, cleaning, brushing hair, putting on scent and donning your clothing.