Where Have All the Lima’s Gone?
Why the coverup?
“What are you talking about?” you ask…or maybe you don’t, but this is what I am talking about:
For the past month I have shopped at multiple supermarkets looking for lima beans. NOTHING! I have never before gone into a supermarket and NOT found lima beans, now NOTHING. Not a
“sold out of limas” sign, not an
“ask an employee for lima beans” massage.
There is clearly an issue, why is no one talking?
Why the cover up?
Ok, some of you are saying (that’s right, I can hear you)
“Who cares Cranky, no one eats them anyway?”
I eat them. I am a lima bean fan. Hell the stores have an abundance of Brussel sprouts and kale. You think lima beans are bad, how about Brussel sprouts and kale! Actually I like Brussel sprouts, but KALE? WTF?
Kale eaters are the same people who simply have to inform me when ever I pick a head of my favorite Iceberg Lettuce that,
“You know that has zero nutritional value don’t you?”
Yes I do know, it also does not taste disgusting like Romaine lettuce does, and if I am looking to get vitamins and healthy calories I will get out of the lettuce aisle. I have never heard of a doctor advising a patient who is lacking proper nutrition to “Eat more Romaine lettuce!”
Anyway, back to lima beans. What is the story? Where are they? Am I all of a sudden the only person that eats lima beans? Are the Russians or the Chinese behind the shortage?
Today I actually found two packages of frozen lima beans. They were the baby lima beans which I usually avoid, as baby lima beans are the veal of the bean world, but beggars cannot be choosy. I snatched up the only two packages and hid them in my cart under the iceberg lettuce (which has absolutely NO nutritional value) hoping I was not exceeding some government imposed limit on lima bean purchasing.
I made it through the checkout line without incident and now have enough lima beans to last several weeks as long as I strictly ration them.
In the mean time I want to know,
Where have all the Lima’s gone, long time passing
Where have all the Lima’s gone, long time ago.
Your welcome for that Peter, Paul, and Mary ear worm.