Presents for the Wife

 

Presents for the Wife

OK. I’m just going to admit it, I hate getting presents for my wife.  Birthday, Anniversary, Christmas, Mother’s Day, it never ends.  I’m not cheap (well maybe a little) it is just that when it comes to presents, a woman cannot be pleased.

I repeat “A WOMAN CAN NOT BE PLEASED!”

They say they can, but they cannot.

It starts two weeks before an occasion.

“What do you want for ________?”

“Oh, I don’t want anything, it’s fine.”

This is code for you better get something and you need to put some thought into it.  I learned this code from wife #1 and it did not go well.

“No, it is important, I am getting you something and I want it to be nice.”

“Surprise me.”

This is code for do some research and get me something nice that I have been wanting.  I learned this code from wife #2 and it did not go well.

A woman will not be specific about what they want because if you didn’t think of it yourself the present does not count.  

OK, I’ll surprise her.  

Turns out sexy outfits are a bad idea.

“You bought that for you, not for me!”

There was some truth in that, but still...

Clothes of any sort are risky, they may appreciate the thought, but never your taste, and you had better get the right size.

“Do you really think I am that fat!”

Jewelry is nice, but also expensive and after a few years wives run out of fingers toes and ears.

Flowers and candy are nice, but flowers die and candy goes to the hips.  Both are also assumed to be last minute no thinking presents…not great.

I learned as a young lad through situation comedy TV shows that any gadget relating to housework is a really bad idea.  Come home with a better vacuum cleaner for no particular occasion and it is appreciated, on a special day? NO!

Anyway, it is getting near Christmas, normally time for the dance to begin.

This year I am going to skip the dance. 

I think I’ll just get a nice coffee (tea) mug that says,

“MERRY CHRISTMAS…I’m a jerk!”

JOSEPH!!

 

JOSEPH!!

Mrs. C just got home from working a week-long Ballroom dance competition in another state.  This is typically a very difficult week’s work and Mrs. C is sometimes a bit snarky when she gets home.

In preparation for this suspected snarkyness, I was sure to have all bathrooms clean, dishes put away and floors vacuumed.  I even bought a new vacuum sweeper thing for the kitchen which has an easy handheld attachment for small spills which I showed off when she returned.

“Very nice, now I’m going to shower and maybe get a quick nap before bowling tonight.”

Hmmm, not too snarky…that is a good thing.

Until.

Moments later I heard a snarky yell.

“JOSEPH!!”

Use of a full proper name from a spouse is never a good thing.  I learned this, two spouses ago and it remains a constant.

Up the stair I trod.

“What’s wrong?”

“Go back downstairs and bring your new vacuum thingy.”

“What happened?”

“Your electric razor fell and spilled hair all over!”

I came a nanosecond from apologizing before it set it.

“My razor fell?  How did MY razor fall?”

“It fell as I was putting it away in the drawer.”

“It fell, or you dropped it?”

“It fell! After I dropped it; but it should have been the drawer and it wouldn’t have fallen!”

“So it was my fault that the razor fell?”

“Exactly!”

“Good to know.”

I retrieved the vacuum thingy, cleaned up the tiny mess, and put the razor in the drawer.  No need to get a win out of this battle, better to let her get the snarkiness out over the razor falling than have her find some real screw up I may have committed in her absence.

I might be a jerk, but I’m not stupid!

 

TARIFFS

 

TARIFFS

 

About 50 years ago, with the popularity of VCRs, many local stores started up a new industry.  They stocked up VCR tapes of virtually every movie ever made, and rented them. 

Now, as I recall, the tapes of most of these movies would cost maybe $25 to purchase and $3,50 to rent.

It was a great deal, and a great idea. 

Pretty soon, come Friday, families would rent several movies for the weekend. They could even rent a VCR if they did not own one.  For less than $15 you had movies for the weekend…plus popcorn!

The first local VCR rental store in my neighborhood was an investment by several local entrepreneurs.  They borrowed heavily, worked their asses off and within 6 months their risky investment was paying off handsomely.

Until…

Along came Blockbuster.  A larger, fancier super VCR rental store.

I remember my kids excitedly telling me that you could rent a movie at the new store for $1.99!

Within one year Blockbuster was the only store in the country where you could rent a movie.   Within one year and a half, Blockbuster was charging $4.99 for a movie rental. 

What looked like a great deal, and a money saver, ultimately ended up costing consumers more to rent a movie, and a lot of little guy risk takers lost their shirts.

CRANKY!!

What the Hell does all this have to do with Tariffs?

Well, for example, if China starts building cars with cheap labor in Mexico and sells them for considerably less than cars built in the US, it would be great for consumers.  Taxing these imports through tariffs would in effect be a tax on US consumers.

Except, once car producers in this country were put out of business, what might happen to those Chinese owned Mexico produced vehicles?

Much like Blockbuster rentals went from $1.99 to $4.99 in a short time, imported car prices would also take off.

We would be left with even more expensive import vehicles and destruction of an industry which was basically invented in this country.

Tariffs on some imported products are not a tax on consumers, they are a tool to stop another country from destroying our productive industries with the ultimate effect of uncompetitive long term higher prices.

When people tell you that all tariffs are bad and simply a tax on consumers, think Blockbuster.

On the other hand, I graduated 55 years ago with a degree in economics.  I had a C- average so…