Do You Have a Temperature?
What is the
first question asked when you are feeling poorly?
“Is it
Covid?”
Ok these
days that is the first question, but after that it is,
“Do you
have a temperature?”
There is a
test for Covid, taking your temperature is not so easy.
Back in the
day there were those mercury thermometers that only adults could read. If you were normal that thin metallic line
would stop at 98.8…every time. Ninety-nine;
you had a fever. One-hundred you stayed
in bed. Those thermometers were dead
accurate, and 98.8 was normal for almost the whole world.
Lately the
rules have changed. Now normal body
temperature can be from 95 to 99. How
and why dd that change?
To make
things even worse, today’s thermometers all vary by two or more degrees. Those forehead and ear things can beep at 95
degrees one day and 96.5 the next.
Normal body
temperature is a crap shoot.
Last week I
was feeling poorly. Not Covid, I was
tested (I am not an animal).
Just stuffy, congestion and I felt like a fever. Chills and sweating usually indicate a fever.
So, Mrs. C
brought out the forehead thermometer.
“Ninety-five
point 4, your fine.”
“Fine! Isn’t
a low temperature also bad?”
“It says
95-99 is a normal range.”
“WTF!”
Days later I
was over the stuffy nose and chest congestion but I really felt crappy. Mrs. C took my temperature with a new under
the tongue electronic thing.
“Ninety-eight
point five…normal.”
“What the
hell, how is 98.5 normal when the other day 95.4 was normal? If 95.4 is normal
then I am three degrees above normal! I need to stay home from school!”
“You don’t
go to school you old fool!”
“See, I
am delirious from fever.”
“Oh, your
fine, you can’t trust these new thermometers.”
So, there
you have it, one of the most trustworthy measures of your well-being no longer
has any measure of accuracy. Makes me
wonder what the hell good were all those forehead tests to enter a building
during Covid.
What
happened to those old mercury things that you had to shake down before using,
and the time under the tongue was measured by Mom’s,
“That should
be long enough.”
These days
the hand on the forehead and
“I don’t know,
feels kind of hot to me.”
Is more
accurate than that electronic crap.
BTW, this
morning feeling much better, 96.4. Is that normal?
