And SO I JOINED THE CLUB

 

And So I Joined The Club

It all started in April…wait, actually it all started 74 years ago.  74 years ago, a time when dentist didn’t take ex-rays and they made $5 per cavity filled.  From age 5 to 16, I went to the dentist every 6 months, and each time had 1 or 2 “cavities” filled.  Cavities is in quotes because from age 16 on, I only went to a dentist to refill one of those so called “cavities” and never had another.

Anyway, on to this April, I had a loose three tooth bridge on one side of my uppers, an older bridge with some infection on the other, plus another totally missing tooth.  The dentist was recommending dentures.  Mrs. C said she was not going to bed every night with a bald toothless old man…fat and bald OK, toothless no!

So, I made arrangements for implants.  I only have 60,000 miles on my car, so I didn’t need a new one. 

That night we went out to dinner and because I couldn’t chew for shit I damn near choked on my prime rib.  Well I did choke, but it was below my windpipe so I could breath.  I could breath, but not swallow.  Now while not breathing leads to death, the inability to swallow will inevitably lead to the same via starvation.  I was able to sleep and the next morning it was off to ER.  Actually we had to see the accountant and then the ER.  April remember.

In the ER they determined the lodged hunk of poorly chewed prime rib could be pushed down and the throat cleared. 

It was a fairly simple procedure, except surgery is never simple.  In dislodging the hunk of meat, part of my esophagus was perforated.  It would need a stent to heal.  The ER at that hospital was not prepared for this and so it was off in an ambulance to a larger facility.

“Oh, and by the way in taking pictures of the puncture, did you know you have an aortic aneurism?”

“Ah no, I did not know that.  Is that bad?”

“Only if it bursts, then you will die quickly, and given the size there is a fair chance that might not happen for a year or two,”

“So…bad.”

“Not good.”

A stent repaired the puncture and two weeks later the stent was replaced.  Then it was off to the cardiologist. He felt the aneurism could be repaired with a relatively inevasive process through a vein in the groin.

I KNOW!!  

But first 800 tests.  

Test 786 found an aortic valve stenosis.  It was explained that this was not good and so it was off to a heart surgeon.

The surgeon explained that to repair the aneurism and do a value replacement it would require open heart surgery.

I am writing about all this mostly to just document for my family, but I am sure there will be at least one reader who will tell me,

 “They can repair both issues through less invasive through the vein process.”

I read about that process and I asked the surgeon and was told,

 “Not in your case.”

Mind you, this surgeon and his team regularly do complete heart transplants.  They know what the F they are doing, so in answer to that process you may have heard about…NO.

In July my brand new Honda HR-V implants replaced my upper shitty teeth and I was scheduled for OHS. 

Oh, except I first had to go through that groin vein scope thingy to determine if I also had blockage.  I did not.  Both cardiologist and surgeon were somewhat surprised by this and assured me it was very good news.  Finally, good news!

Surgery was on 8-8, a very good date according to Mrs. C the numbers nut, as 8 is a lucky number in the Asian culture,  a perfect day for Dr. Igimoto to do his thing.

No suspense, obviously I survived.  I love Dr. Igimoto and his entire incredibly talented team.  These people have skills!

Now it is recovery time, a two to three month process if Mrs. C doesn’t crack and kill me first.

Oh, the club? Not one I aspired to, but am now a proud member of

THE ZIPPER CLUB.