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Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Interesting Observations


Interesting Observations

I seem to be losing interest in this blogging thing, or maybe I’ve just run out of stuff to say.  I refuse to engage in anything political again, so there goes lots of material, and Mrs. C has not called me a Jerk for a while.  

I guess after posting daily for six years you run out of things to say.  It is kind of like marriage.  When Mrs. C and I go out to dinner we often have long periods of silence.  When I start to say something, she already knows what I am going to say. 

Sometimes something will happen and we both just start laughing.

“I know what you were going to say, and I agree, that is funny.”

“I thought you would think so.”

Then we go back to silence.  I think I need more material.

Yesterday I was driving home from dinner with the wife and her sister.  I saw a sight you don’t see every day.

An old dude in a wife-beater tee, was riding a bike and smoking a cigarette while carrying a rather large rocking cow…a rocking horse, except it was a cow.

“There is something I haven’t seen in ages.”

“Was that a rocking cow?”

“I believe it was.  I see old dudes in wife-beater tees riding a bike while smoking a cigarette often, but not sure I’ve ever seen one carrying a large rocking cow!”

“Do you think he stole it?”

“Who would steal a rocking cow?”

“Probably bought it at a garage sale.”

“Someone’s grandchildren are going to be happy…I guess”

All right, that’s it, I may not be posting regularly for a while.  I mean when it gets down to posting about a rocking cow, it might be time for a break…we’ll see.


Just another note.  I no longer see a bazillion hits from Russia and the Ukraine, so apparently that part of the world no longer finds what I have to say to be fascinating.  Recently, however, my email followers have jumped from 50 (which took 6 years to accumulate) to 125.  In 10 days, I have 75 new followers.  All of these new followers have outlook.com addresses, and most appear to have Hispanic surnames.  Not sure what is happening, but:

Hola mi amigos. 

Bienvenido!

Monday, June 26, 2017

IT’s DOABLE!

IT’s DOABLE!

This cranky re-run is from June 2013 
Last week I was in North Carolina helping my daughter by watching the three NC Crankettes.  I had a good time reacquainting myself with these three.  We made pancakes in the morning, played games, watched “Sponge Bob Squarepants” (my personal favorite) and went to a local pool.

One bonus of any NC visit is I get to see my Editor/Sister-in-law, Judy.  This year the visit included my scientist genius nephew, Jimmy (yes, I still call him Jimmy) his scientist genius wife, Melissa, my PHD niece Alison, 35 first cousins-once-removed and a six month old Yellow Lab “Captain” named in honor of my Brother Jim.
Dinner was beer-can chicken skillfully grilled by my nephew.

The "Three Amigo's"
 We had a great time, solved many of the world’s problems if only anyone would listen to us, and told some old stories.  I love old family stories, and I like to put them on paper, or the internet in hopes they will not be forgotten. 
My niece told this one as an example of youthful exuberance and ambition.  She relates it to her students from time to time when they think her expectations are too high.  I hope I do it justice:
My brother and his family were all skiers, especially when the kids were young.  They were all good skiers.  Good, not great.  My niece, Alison, recalls watching her two brothers, Jimmy and David, at the top of an extremely long steep hill.  The hill was not just steep but was covered with huge moguls (not rich old men, but severe bumps and dips in the hill.)  The hill was very icy which is typical when steep and bumps are involved as the good snow gets pushed off to the side leaving crusty packed icy snow.
Both boys eyed the slope with trepidation when Jimmy suddenly just pushed off and attempted the run.  Heading straight down the icy slope, Jimmy navigated about half of the bumps with skill and dexterity when he caught an edge, flipped to his side, fell and tumbled about 100 yards down the hill ass over teacup until he finally slid to a stop.  Jimmy did not move for what seemed like a minute, and then he slowly pulled himself up, dusted off the snow, and adjusted his hat.  Looking back up the hill, bruised but still intact, Jimmy cupped his hands and yelled to David,
“IT’s DOABLE!"
David, of course, followed!

AFTER THE BLOG
Apparently I got some facts of this story incorrect.  This comment from nephew David sets the record straight.  Please note David’s obvious resentment at being called “good” skiers, they were in fact “Fairly Great” skiers.  Also note I am Joe, not Uncle Joe, I still don’t know what I did to lose my title…anyway still love you guys:
Sorry to miss you Joe. We got there late that night. The quote is correct, though the story is wrong. We were fairly great skiers for that time period (mid-80s), not just good. And it was me, not Jimmy, actually attempting a helicopter (a 360 degree twist) off a particularly large boulder. I landed backwards, which is indeed a bad outcome - though the depth of the powder made it a goggle packing, snow eating wreck rather than a painful one. Despite the absolute muff of the trick, I was convinced it could and should be done (though perhaps not by me). So "It's doable" was born... Alison wasn't there, but my Dad was, and he loved to tell the story, which is likely why she likes to tell the story. She has the details wrong, though not the point.
OK, the facts are now straight, and the saying officially becomes Family Lore.

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Stupid Headline 062517

Stupid Headline 062517
It’s time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments. 
______________________
Man gets $870G after doctor removes wrong testicle – A lot of dudes would give their left nut for that much money.
Pennsylvania alarm clock stuck in wall for 13 years goes off every day – Dang, those Pennsylvania clocks have good batteries.
Would-be burglar beaten by resident – Just because the home owner beat the crap out of him does not make him a “would-be burglar,” he is still a burglar, just not a very good one.
We live in a cosmic Void, another study confirms – I know that people in New Jersey drive like they are in a cosmic void.
Colorado teachers are being armed with guns – Just the threat of detention used to be enough when I was a kid.
George Clooney is selling his tequila brand for up to $1 billion – Money, looks, fame, beautiful intelligent wife, twins, and now this!  Can this SOB let go of just a little karma for the rest of us?
Man caught urinating near LA train station found to have cache of weapons – When caught he was mumbling “This is my rifle, this is my gun…”
North Korea calls Trump a 'psychopath,' warns South Korea against following White House – The NoKo leader than spun on the floor in a circle and demanded “Mo, Larry, the cheese!” Nuck, nuck, nuck.
If You’re White and Have Opinions, You’re Now Guilty of ‘Whitesplaining’ – Then I shall keep my opinion of this to my own white self.
Ham Sandwiches Deemed ‘Racist’ By Group, Could Be Banned – In other news, waking up in the morning if you are white is racist.
Porn actress claims Christian school fired her from teaching job because of her sex films – Well…yeah!
This week’s feel-good story:
Miracle Dog Honored for Bringing Owner Out of ComaWhat can I say, I’m a sucker for a good dog story.
Come back again next week for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!