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Saturday, August 1, 2015

RIP CECIL


RIP CECIL
The following is the opinion of a cranky old man with little knowledge on the topic opined.  Opposing opinions are welcome but may be ignored.  Mean spirited comments will be deleted and as always, please, no name calling, and that means you, you big stupid head!

I do not like hunting.  I don’t like guns or crossbows.  I don’t mind that people hunt some animals.  As much as I like deer, they can be a nuisance and except for automobiles they don’t have many natural enemies.   Without hunters the deer would be overpopulated, they would probably become disease ridden and die anyway.  Plus hunters eat the deer they kill and deer are quite tasty.

I am not a fan of killing an animal only to pose like a big shot by the carcass and take home another ratty rug with teeth.  This dentist who killed Cecil the lion is a jerk.  He is apparently a rich jerk, so I dislike him even more.  A case can be made for big game hunting.  Some say it pays for conservation.  Maybe.  But I don’t like it and I don’t like this dentist jerk.

Still what he did happens all the time.  Big game hunters pay big bucks to kill big bucks and other exotic animals.  We never hear about it.  What makes this killing so despicable?  Why is this dentist forced into hiding?  

Sure the lion was apparently lured out of a sanctuary to be killed.  Maybe the dentist didn’t know it was protected, he paid big money for guides to know what was legal.  This despicable killing of a beautiful creature that is, I believe endangered, made headlines because the lion had a name.  The lion had a cute name.  Cecil the lion. 

He killed Cecil! 

This is the biggest crime since the brutal murder of Bambi’s mother.

Killing Cecil was a despicable act in my opinion, but was it as disgusting as ISIS filming the beheadings of multiple Muslims that disagreed with the despicable ISIS ideology?

 ISIS has committed horrible…outrageous…inhuman atrocities and they get negative press, but not the same vitriol as that reserved for this big game hunting dentist.

Perhaps when ISIS publishes these disgusting murders we should name the victims. 

It is disturbing to see five humans beheaded,  but to see “Ackmed the tailor”, “Abdul the farmer”,  “Hakeem the clerk”,  “Majeed the doctor” and “Aaban the teacher” brutally tortured and killed might outrage the civilized world as much as reading about the killing of an animal.

It is important to put a name on murder.  The act of a random disturbed person does not evoke the rage that a brutal murder in the name of “Radical Muslim Terrorism” does. 

Too often today violence is minimized by terminology.  Murder is called execution, terrorists are radicals.

Christians are rounded up and murdered or sold to sex slavery and it is because of a difference of religious opinion.  Muslims kill other Muslims for a difference in belief.  Jews are hated and need to be eliminated because it says so in the Koran (So I have been told), when does it end.

Perhaps we should give every victim a name. 

Perhaps we should show every victim’s family in mourning.

Perhaps if we put a name to the victims of terrorism, outrageous acts of inconceivable violence will receive the same justifiable vitriol, disgust and desire for revenge as does the killing of a lion, not just any lion.

Cecil the lion.

The preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky…who by the way loves lions more than any animal on earth and is very angry about Cecil!

Friday, July 31, 2015

Things Guys Never Do


Things Guys Never Do
Men and women are different.  That is not an earth shattering observation.  They are not just different in their plumbing and their instincts to nurture; these are obvious differences that aid women in child bearing and care, their original and once traditional place in the family unit.  There are also differences that are universal, but defy explanation.  These are things that almost all women do that almost no man would ever do.

When a woman is surprised she instinctively covers her mouth with her hands.  For some reason a woman does not want to show an open mouth when they are surprised.  A man puts his hands out and yells “No friggin way!”

When a woman is touched by something she clutches her heart and says “Aww!” A man just yells, “How friggin cool is that?”

When a woman is overcome with emotion, happy or sad, she fans her eyes.  They do this whether or not they have eye makeup.  When a man is overcome with joy, he will clap his hands, or high five his buddy, if he is pissed off, he will break something.

When a young woman takes a selfie, she either sticks out her tongue, or puckers her lips kiss like.  When guys take a selfie they wave their arms and holler.

Women somehow are able to hold in a fart.  Men will ask you to pull their finger.

Women somehow are able to hold in a belch.  Men will try and burp out the alphabet.

When women get a present they neatly unwrap and save the paper.  Men tear that stuff off, roll it in a ball and then try to hit a three pointer in the wastebasket.

Women will call a friend just to say hello; they can say hello for hours.  Men will only make a call if they have to, and a call seldom lasts more than two minutes.

Women will commonly ask another woman to accompany them to the bathroom.  Men only go solo; if they run into someone they know, conversation is discouraged. “Dude” or “How’s it going” is considered conversation.

That’s it, otherwise we are completely alike.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

SPEAKING OF FUNGUS…JOHN McENROE


SPEAKING OF FUNGUS…JOHN McEnroe

Years ago I used to watch tennis.  In the eighties it was all the rage.  It was difficult to find time on the public courts in our town.  Today the courts are mostly used for skateboards.  When tennis was really popular, the big names in men's were Jimmy Connors, John McEnroe, Bjorn Borg and Ivan Lendl.  

Of this group, Connors and McEnroe were brats.  Among Connors and McEnroe, McEnroe was the biggest brat.  He was a spoiled little shit who moaned and complained at every call.

I get it, a call for or against you in tennis can cost you a match.  Emotions run high especially in a big tournament, but McEnroe was the worst.  He argued almost every close call that did not go his way.  In the eighties human discretion was the only way to call a match, today they may use sophisticated technology to make the close calls; I don’t know and I don’t care anymore, I couldn’t name more than three pros today and have no idea who won the last major tournaments.

I have to admit, one of the reasons I found tennis popular in the eighties was that McEnroe and Connors made a stuffy old snobby rich man’s game more human with their shenanigans.  Still, John McEnroe was over the top.  He complained about the calls.  He berated the linesmen and head official.  He pouted and threatened to stop play.  He was full of himself.  He was a big baby, a whiny ass bitch in a snotty ass sport.

McEnroe was famous for his tennis skills (He was one of the best ever) and his whining tantrums:

“Are you kidding me?”  “You cannot be serious!”  “What are you even looking at?” “Unbelievable!”

Oh, I watched.  I watch train wrecks, but I still hated the little shit!

What happened to John McEnroe?  After he retired he had a failed music career, made a few movie cameos, had a failed try as a game show host and is a TV tennis commentator.  I imagine he is still quite wealthy, but his newest gig gives me great pleasure.

The great John McEnroe, the spoiled tennis bitch, is selling a foot fungus product.  In the commercial, he capitalizes on his old complaining persona.  He announces a tennis match between “Toe Fungus” and his “Toe Fungus Product.”

We see John calling the match, “Unbelievable, Toe Fungus?” in his old whiny manner.

Way to go John, you’ve come a long way from the best tennis player in the world and a whiny brat, to a huckster using your old brat persona to hawk about “Toe Fungus!”

“Toe Fungus? Seriously!”