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Tuesday, November 25, 2014

WASP SALAD


WASP* SALAD
As some of you may know, I love, love, love TV.  I am not ashamed of loving TV.  I watch everything on TV, except for PBS.  Well I even watch some shows on PBS, but I am not one of those TV snobs,

“Oh I hardly ever watch TV and when I do I only watch PBS.”

I watch everything except “Honey Boo Boo,” “Revenge” (a Friggin whisperfest) and “Once Upon a Time” (In a plot jam? Wave a wand and presto; shit happens and there is a new plot…Yeech!)

One of my favorites are cooking shows.  I watch “How to’s” and Cooking Contests.  I even watch “Rachel Ray.”

I have learned a lot from these shows, and I do like to cook, in fact I am a prima-barbaqucer.  Several things about most cooking shows do annoy me.

Everything is quick and easy.  Yeah, after someone else has already chopped everything, measured everything and sautéed everything.  All you have to do is dump it into a $500 mixer, turn it on, pour it into a pan, put it into the oven and at the same time pull an already perfectly cooked batch out of the oven.

I also hate how they tell you what you can do if you want to.

“I like to add Sicilian olives soaked in Brazilian tomatoes for three weeks with some Himalayan salt and Portuguese pepper, but you can just use any canned olives if you want.”

Why thank you!  I can also add raisins and a pint of vodka if I want.  I don’t really need you to announce the rules!  Anyway, maybe it’s just me.

The last thing I hate is the audience reaction every time garlic, hot peppers or booze is added to a concoction.  They go crazy with applause and laughter and oohs and ahhs.  “Ooh wine! I drink wine!  I’m a lush! Ooh ooh!”

Just stop it! Most of these people have eggnog on Christmas Eve and think that is a big deal.  Besides, the alcohol is all burned off anyway.  Damn! Anyway, maybe it’s just me.

Oh, I missed this last thing I hate about these shows; “the taste test.”

EVERYTHING IS TO FRIGGIN DIE FOR!  The yumm’s the wows, the foodgasms over everything from fried kale to cheesy French fries.

Anyway, perhaps that is just I.

Oh yeah, this post, WASP SALAD.

With Thanksgiving coming up I am offering my favorite Thanksgiving recipe, WASP SALAD.

WASP Salad is really just Waldorf salad, but my  Irish former in-laws called it WASP SALAD.  I never thought of it as being “Ethnic” food. To me “Ethnic” food is anything that is not grilled or boiled, or that ends in a vowel.  My Irish in-laws  loved my WASP SALAD.  At least they claimed they did, but we always had a lot of left-over’s so maybe not. 

Who cares, I love it and here is my recipe:

WASP SALAD

Take four apples and cut into small 1/4 to 1/2 inch cubes.  (You can cut in different size cubes if you want.) I like red crunchy sweet apples (you can use soft green crappy apples if you want.)

Wait, you know what?  No you can’t!  Make it exactly like I say, or don’t make it at all!  Called it German WASP SALAD.

Coat all the apple chunks in lemon juice.  Why?  Because I said so**!

Take several stalks of fresh celery and chop into small, but not fine, bits.

Of course wash it first…damn do I have to explain everything?

Add the celery to the apple chunks and then mix in chopped walnuts and raisins. How many? I prefer just the right amount.

Here comes the part that creeps out non-WASPS.  Add mayonnaise to this mixture.  You can use any mayonnaise you like, but in case there is a WASP at the table, tell them you used Hellman’s.  WASPS think there is a difference; don’t upset them.  Mix the mayonnaise until everything is covered with a fine film, and then add more mayonnaise.  Keep adding mayonnaise until it starts to look disgusting, then stop.

Chill, serve with the turkey, and enjoy watching the Lions get their ass kicked. 

WASP salad is also excellent with left-over turkey sandwiches the next day.


*White, Anglo-Saxon, Protestants.
**Lemon juice keeps the apples from turning brown

Monday, November 24, 2014

ATHEISM – THE OTHER RELIGION a cranky re-run

ATHEISM – THE OTHER RELIGION

A cranky re-run from November 2011 for

Atheism is the rejection of belief in the existence of a deity or unexplained force which is responsible for the miraculous creation of life.  If you ask an Atheist what religion he follows, he will say he is an Atheist.


Atheism is, I submit, the religion of non-religion.


There are articles in the paper or on the web everyday about Atheists objecting to religious symbols, be they Christian, Jewish, Islamic or Hindi, in public buildings.  Atheists object to any prayer or even a moment of silence in any public function.  They object to teaching of any religions, even if done in an educational, non-proselytizing format.  They object to using the term God before a school team takes the field.  They even object to students wearing or displaying their own religious symbols in schools.  These objections are always made on the Constitutional doctrine of the separation of church and state.  


It seems to me, that Atheism is itself a religion.  It is a religion that preaches or if you will proselytizes the non-existence of any deity.  If Atheism is itself a religion, the symbol of Atheism is no symbol.  If schools and other Government institutions are to be separate from religion and religious symbols, then having no symbols, the symbol of Atheism, is also in violation of the separation doctrine.


When I enter a school, or court and I see no religious symbols, I am made uncomfortable by the obvious insinuation that the institution is supporting Atheism, the religion of nothing.  I should not be uncomfortable in these institutions that I support with my taxes.  I should not be forced to be subjected to these non-symbols which clearly support Atheism.


These government buildings should display symbols of all religions so that no one is made to feel uncomfortable.  Every building should have a symbol representing Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hindi, and Atheism.  The symbol for atheism could be a circle with a collage of Jesus, Mohammad, Gandhi, and Moses with a bold line through the circle.


Our money should be minted with the phrase, “In God We Trust…or not.” The Pledge of Allegiance should be amended to read, “One nation, under God….or not.”   All prayers before public functions should end “Amen…assuming God exists.”


The solution to Atheist’s objection to other religious inferences in public places is to include equally the symbols and message of Atheism.  No citizen should be made to feel uncomfortable because of religious messages, and that includes Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindi and ATHEISTS!

Sunday, November 23, 2014

STUPID HEADLINES 112314


STUPID HEADLINES 112314

It is time once again for
That might call for a disengagement


STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY


This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

One headline may be completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-doo. 'None of the above' may be the correct answer.

_________________________________


Second hand marijuana smoke as harmful as tobacco – But way more fun!

Jose Canseco plans to sell his middle finger on eBay – On New Jersey highways drivers will give you their middle finger for nothing.

Texan arrested for trying to steal police car, with detective inside – Those Texans…not satisfied with just the car.


Woman claims Bill Cosby never raped her – Cosby lawyer refused to dignify this claim with a response.


Satanic group plans to hand out coloring books in Florida schools – Well that will separate church from state.

Kitty litter mix-up at fed lab contributed to costly nuclear radiation leak, report says – Oh yeah, water cools the nuclear rods, not kitty litter; simple mistake.

President Obama pardons turkey; Republicans object to abuse of power – Oh come on, of course this is fake, there is one more.

Duggar Expands Anti-Gay Brand to Include Racism – Homophobic and racist wow!  Reality star with 19 children doesn’t get that probably at least two are Gay, but probably none are Black.

Pennsylvania Great Dane gives birth to 19 puppies – All in one shot? Kinda makes the Duggars seem like losers.

Most Heavy Drinkers Are Not Alcoholics – They just drink a lot and can’t stop, while an alcoholic can’t stop drinking a lot…good to know.


Mattel apologizes for inept computer engineer Barbie – Why does Mattel apologize, is it their fault that computer engineer Barbie is inept?


100-year-old woman sees ocean for the first time – “That’s it?  It’s just a lot of water.  Big Friggin deal!


_______________________________


Last week’s fake headline was:


Flatulence can trigger Asthma Attack – NYC Mayor DiBlasio pushes to fine farts…wait that didn’t come out right…oops, neither did that.


And the winners are:



It SHOULD be the New York City headline, but I'll go with the flatulence one!!

I just can’t beat fishducky!  Visit fishducky @ http://fishducky.blogspot.com/ always funny stuff!


I was going to go with the gagged dummy but changed my mind, thinking that asthma is the least of your worries when it comes to flatulence, so I'm guessing that one is fake.

He is on a hot streak! Visit Jimmy for not just opinions @ http://jimsop.blogspot.com/


I was going to say the flatulence one but then I started thinking that they didn't necessarily mean your own. That now seems plausible. So I'll guess no fakes.

Oh gee, so close.  I’m sorry, I can’t give a mention to Hilary @ http://thesmittenimage.blogspot.com/  To bad because she has a very entertaining blog, stories told with photos. 


I'm going to go with along with the stupidity virus. Okay, I've not a clue this week.

Oh no! A seventeen week winning streak just came to an end. Sorry, but no mention for Sandee @ http://comedyplus.blogspot.com/ Funny stuff, especially silly Sunday, but I just can’t give a mention.


Visit and congratulate all the winners and come back next week for more


STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!