HEADLINES 011512

HEADLINES 011512

It’s that time again, time for Cranky’s HEADLINES of the week and my stupid sophomoric comments:

Marijuana doesn't harm lung function, study found – Scientists declare, “Like dude it ain’t do nuttin to do no harm…ah…pass the chips.”

FAA says pilots can guide whooping cranes – But they can’t date them.

TV chef 'sorry' for shoplifting cheese and wine – This week’s show – How to entertain your guests while on a strict budget.

Jon Huntsman: Third Place Is a Ticket to Ride – Ticket is for Palookaville.

Dragnet: Alleged Cross-Dressing Georgia Car Thief Caught – Georgia strictly enforces all laws against cross-dressing.

Buried Alive Fiancé Gets 20 Years in Prison – Why is being buried alive a crime? I would think the person who buried her alive would have to go to jail.

Italian drug dealer guarded stash with 'mini alligator'- Dealer lost his hand when he thought he hid the drugs in his shoes.

15-year-old Maryland boy sentenced 85 years for killing teacher – And the conviction will remain part of his PERMINANT RECORD!!

PepsiCo finds trace fungicide in orange juice – Now claims their cola not only “Hits the spot” but also cures Athletes foot! 

CA man suspected of poisoning wife's Rice Krispies – I have to say this – Does that make him a CEREAL killer? (I’m sorry, it’s the Tourette’s!)