STUPID HEADLINES 122318
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| I Don't care |
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Senate unanimously votes to make
lynching a federal crime – Holy Shit! Who knew lynching was
legal? Still time to hang a few people before this gets signed into law!
Florida mom, daughter sent contraband
to prison via drone delivery – Only in Florida!
Missouri man must watch ‘Bambi’
monthly as part of poaching punishment – That sounds like cruel and unusual punishment to me.
Why you should skip the workout if
you're hungover, according to experts – I don’t need an expert to tell me not to work out, if I feel
like shit, I stay home.
Actual Witches Say They're Offended
By Trump Using the Term 'Witch-hunt'- This is ridiculous, I’m pretty sure the President is just
confused and is asking Which Hunt?
Eliot Spitzer sneaked his $5G-a-night
Russian escort into his home in suitcase – I remember when this guy was busting Wall Street and
acting all high and mighty and thinking, “I don’t know, he just looks like a
real Dick!” I think I was right.
Michigan ‘miracle lady’ starts
breathing moments after plug is pulled on life support – Nice story, but I have to
wonder, the husband made the difficult decision to pull the plug and now every
time she sees him, is she thinking “You
pulled the friggin plug!!”
Ford recalls nearly 900,000 F-150
pickups after fires – It would have been nice if they recalled them before they went up in
flames!
Referee Makes High School Wrestler
Cut His Dreadlocks or Forfeit Match – WTF!! What is wrong with people? (Kid cut his hair and won
the match…ref is a douche!)
PETA condemns Popeyes' 'emotional
support chicken' – Popeyes’
latest promotion, fried chicken in a basket that looks like a big chicken
condemned by PETA. These people have way
too much time on their hands.
Alfonso Ribeiro sues video game
creator over 'Carlton' dance – You can copyright a dance?
Crap, the guy that invented the Waltz must be loaded!
FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE
WEEK
Retired Marine tackles gun-wielding
bar patron in Pennsylvania – I don’t know about you, but a good well-deserved Marine
ass-kicking always warms my heart…when will people learn not to mess with a
Marine of any age?
Kudos for your usual excellent assortment, and i also like the fact that the Marine gave the robber something to remember in the future.
ReplyDeleteI too love the feel good story the best.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day, Joe. 😎
MO will never catch FL in the stupid headlines department, but we're creeping closer. We ARE the Show-Me State, and it looks like we really showed that poacher the error of his ways.
ReplyDeleteAnother winner, Joe!!
ReplyDeleteHum, he got the hooker into a suitcase?? She must have been tiny or very flexible.
ReplyDeleteI read about the Marine butt smack down.
ReplyDeleteI smiled.
“You pulled the friggin plug!!” can be really true (if it ever happens)
ReplyDeleteThat drone delivery has me singing - ♪♫♪♫ ...up on the housetop...♪♫♪♫
ReplyDelete