Stupid Headlines 060318
Jetstar passenger escorted off flight
for violent outburst, making children cry – If you’ve ever sat on a plane with a crying child you would know that of
all the horrible things a passenger could do on a plane, making children cry
has to be the worst!
Woman claims crude Southwest
passenger masturbated during entire flight – The entire flight? The flight was from Las Vegas to Philadelphia, apparently
what starts in Vegas never finishes.
Dick's Sporting Goods shares surge as
retailer raises earnings forecast – No! I will not make a crude comment about a surge causing
Dicks to rise.
Jersey Shore real estate sign washes
up in France years after Hurricane Sandy – Can that piece of Jersey Shore real estate be far
behind?
Plane makes emergency landing after passengers
vomit, faint from 'unbearable' smell of 'unwashed' man onboard – They could have dropped those
emergency oxygen masks.
Comic Samantha Bee, TBS suddenly
contrite after backlash over vile, 'c-word' attack on Ivanka Trump – What is the big deal, she is a
conservative isn’t she?
Harvard gives Hillary Clinton award
for 'transforming society – Along with the award, she also got a juice box and a gluten
free non-GMO apple.
Trump says he’s considering pardoning
Martha Stewart – It’s a good thing, but Martha may have preferred if it
came before she served her time in jail.
Treasure trove discovered at ancient
fort destroyed by Vikings – That’s a shame, they find a treasure trove and along come a
bunch of Vikings and they destroy it.
Flying A-Hole of the
Week:
Televangelist is asking his followers
to buy him a $54 million private jet - Always a tough choice, but Jesse
Duplantis, grab your award, you’ve earned it!
FEEL-GOOD story of the
week:
Kind busker helps blind girl with
severe autism play guitar – If this doesn’t tug at your heart, you have no heart to get
tugged.
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COME BACK NEXT WEEK FOR MORE
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!
The world just gets weirder and weirder.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day, Joe. ☺
That was a tear jerker moment wasn't it....how lovely of him to take the time to bring joy to someone else.
ReplyDeleteMy 13-year-old self is disappointed in your sudden maturity. Dick's is a terrible thing to waste. But then again, I'm nearly satisfied with your second headline, about the dude who apparently joined the Mile-High Club with himself.
ReplyDeleteHaving ridden on a bus in Italy with factory workers heading home at the end of the day, i understand why that plane made an emergency landing.
ReplyDeleteLoved the feel-good story.
Your feel good story was marvelous!!
ReplyDeleteLove the HRC juice box and gluten free non GMO apple award. Very deserving I'm sure. Hahaha!
ReplyDelete