STUPID
HEADLINES 0802145
It’s time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
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WYOMING MAN
FOUND WITH 30 EYEBALLS IN HIS ANAL CAVITY – He was sent to I
See You.
San Francisco combats the
stench of urine with pee-repellant paint – Or they could encourage the use of
toilets.
Feds gave low-income housing to
millionaires – There goes the neighborhood.
Too pale to fly? Airline stops
redhead from boarding due to white ‘sickly’ skin – I’m guessing they weren’t flying to
the Caucasians.
Minnesota city fights solar system
approval by state – This
is government getting carried away, the Solar System is pretty much a given, not
subject to state approval.
Giant inflatable duck taken from roof of Roseburg auto
center – FRAN! Can you verify where you were on the night of
July 26? http://fishducky.blogspot.com/
Washington, D.C. could sink 6 inches
over next century – And
you probably didn’t think Washington could get any lower.
Teens sold iPhones that were
Play-Doh bricks – The “Phones” were not the only things that were not smart.
The king still reigns at ag expo
cat show – What
the Hell is an ag expo cat show?
Nutty
professor: Rutgers teacher who said US worse than ISIS has history of bizarre
statements – This is the same professor who fought against allowing
Condoleezza Rice to speak. The fact she can even make such a statement proves
she is wrong.
Lottery Shows Winning Number Before It Gets Drawn – Officials claim it was just a coincidence, kind of
like winning the goof-up lottery.
23 Pound lobster is 95 years old – Proof that eating nothing but seafood is good for you.
Some of these I read about, but thirty eyeballs in someone's anal cavity? I know from experience you can't get more than twenty-six eyeballs in your anal cavity.
ReplyDeleteI'm going with Stephen's expertise plus it just can't be possible.
ReplyDeleteHaha
ReplyDeleteI had a good laugh over your comment on the DC sinking lower. But all true. Ha
I think the redhead story is fake. What about albinos?
ReplyDeleteNone of the above. As far as the inflatable duck goes (& it apparently went)--it wasn't me, I didn't do it & I'll never do it again!!
ReplyDelete"WYOMING MAN FOUND WITH 30 EYEBALLS IN HIS ANAL CAVITY" I'll bet he had a really shitty outlook on...well...everything!
ReplyDeleteI'm going with the eyeballs. Everybody knows you're supposed to put a hamster there, not eyeballs.
ReplyDeleteAre any of these fake? I don't see directions to choose a fake. I can't operate without reading directions! Where do you get 30 eyeballs? I don't have a clue.
ReplyDeleteHowever...that eyeball asshole must have been really rich or really important to have so many people's heads up his ass. And that 95-year-old lobster? Come on! Like he knew where his birth certificate was!
Thirty eyeballs? that's got to be the one.
ReplyDeleteNone of the above. I think these are all true.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day Cranky. ☺
Thanks to this contest, I've become quite comfortable with accepting insane behavior as a normal part of humanity. I won't be one bit surprised if they are all true, but I'll say the lobster is a fake.
ReplyDelete