STUPID HEADLINES 032314

STUPID HEADLINES 032314

It is once again time for: Way TMI! STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

 

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

One headline is completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-do.  

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Doctors perform rare C-section on gorilla – Strangely enough, most gorillas prefer natural birth…pant, pant, blow…pound your chest…pant, pant, blow…pound your chest.

Professor cooks up recipe for turning wood chips into food – Couldn’t that make you Sick Or More?  Woodn’t it taste like Ash?  Hey, Yew never know.  OK, I’m Elmost done.  Make sure to Spruce up before dinner.  See dare I go again, but I’m done now, by Gum.*

Baptist churches giving away guns to attract new members – I hope the Post Office doesn’t think this is a good way to hire carriers.

Jurors award nearly half-million dollars to handyman who slayed 7 at suburban restaurant – Dang, that’s over $70,000 per murder…who said crime doesn’t pay?

Hangman resigns after seeing gallows for first time – Well it was only a part time job anyway.   (See how I avoided any bad “Its noose to me” pun…well I almost avoided it.)

49ers Coach Jim Harbaugh Does Push-Ups With a Walrus – That’s illegal in 16 New Jersey counties!

Atheist Group Objects To The Term “Crosswalk” – Group insists on naming pedestrian section “Disaway.”

President Obama reveals Final Four picks for NCAA March Madness – Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, and Hilary Clinton?  This is college basketball Mr. President!

Man finds egg worth $33.3 million – Now he is looking for the hen.

A State With No Song: Decades-long fight to get NJ an anthem drags on – Val, if you dare suggest “Dirty Water” I will unfriend you!**

Hawaii law allows undercover police officers to have sex with prostitutes – I think this is wrong even if it is done under the covers.

Mt.Gox finds 200,000 bitcoins in old wallet – I have researched and studied this subject extensively and this is what it means to me: Blah, blah, money sort of, blah, fake, blah rip off, geeks, blah, blah, blah, ruined, not safe, yada, yada, yada, future, not, nerd, blah, mine computer, blah, blah, blah!

 

*They say puns are the lowest form of humor, actually the lowest form of humor is really bad puns.

** http://www.newsmax.com/TheWire/rubbing-alcohol-scotch-dirty/2013/05/24/id/506295/

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Last week’s fake headline was:

Man addicted to saliva tries to quit swallowing – He tried chewing spitorette gum, but that didn’t work.

Very few guessers, 4 people nailed it:

                         Marcia Shaw Wyatt said...

Man addicted to saliva. Wow! That's my pick this week. I love you headlines and comments on them. Thanks so much for sharing and I hope you have a great Sunday! :D

Visit Marcia @ http://blogitudes.com/ I am just getting acquainted so visit with me…jokes…thoughts…eclectic stuff.  

           Pixel Peeper said...

My guess is on the guy addicted to saliva.

You will find Pixel @ http://my-couch-corner.blogspot.com/ Nature photos and funny Dry Cleaner sayings (just go there, you’ll see.)  

 

                       Val said...

I'm drooling for the saliva addict to be the fake this week.

Visit Val @ http://unbaggingthecats.blogspot.com/ She is always entertaining!

                       Life happens said...

I'm really hoping its the saliva one. I would say the conceived in bathroom one but let's face it that's pretty common. The spit one should be a real one. I know a few people that drool all the time. I wish they would swallow it or something. I have had many a spit bath while talking to them.

You can find Mylinda @ http://pmmkpl.blogspot.com/  (I may have misspelled her name, but she probably can’t see it anyway) just check out this amazing lady she always has a fun post.

 And come back next week for more

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY