HEADLINES 022612

HEADLINES 022612

It is Sunday again, time for a recap of this week’s headlines and Cranky’s idiotic sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.  Politically correct right thinking liberated minds should probably stop reading now:

Olympics minister says ticket demands unreasonable –Minister firmly believes admittance to church should be free.

9 tourist couples marry naked in Jamaica – First episode of new reality show “Say yes to the Undressed.”

Koran Burning Protests Spread to Pakistan – Lets just compromise, you stop cutting of people’s heads, and we’ll stop drawing cartoons and burning books.*

Journey drummer ordered to anger management – He needs to learn to stop beating stuff.

ESPN apologizes for racist Lin headline – Network admits saying  the basketball  player of Chinese decent had a “chink in his armor” was in bad taste, they just wanted to put a new slant on the story, but asserted the claim of yellow journalism was  just gobbledy-gook!  Was the article racist?  You do the math.

Iran court convicts Christian pastor convert to death – How dare he convert from the religion of love and peace?*

NL MVP Ryan Braun wins appeal of drug test – Congratulations Ryan, but I just do not see what is so appealing about a drug test.

Lucy Lawless Using 'Xena' War Cries To Save The Environment – OK, ah…hmmm how does that work?  Wouldn’t screaming use oxygen and emit more carbon dioxide?  I guess you have to be an actress to understand this scientific shit.

Kate Gosselin: ‘I’m So Lonely’ – Hmmm…maybe if she spent some time with her EIGHT children.

Flu season has begun, with latest start in 24 years – If not for last minute negotiations, the season might have been cancelled all together.

Penn Judge: Muslims Allowed to Attack People for Insulting Mohammad – Rules man who was beaten to a pulp for calling Mohammad a “big fat stupid head” deserved the attack.  Hassan Abdul Mustafa El Wacky who was set free with his big giant curvy sword declared the decision a “victory for backward thinking third world moronic fanatical religious zealots the world over!”*

Does White House deserve credit for increase in domestic oil production? – He is credited with the rotten economy not being even more rotten, so I guess he should be credited with increased oil production. 

He should also be credited with the lack of wild elephant stampedes in Montana!

 *The Cranky Old Man apologizes for multiple comments related to the religion of peace and love.  He promises to stop as soon as the decapitations and suicide bombings end.