THE WAY THINGS ARE

THE WAY THINGS ARE

Some things just happen and they just happen wrong.  There is no rhyme or reason for them to always happen, they just do.  The law that explains this phenomenon is Murphy’s Law:

"If something can go wrong, it will."

This is of course a very broad assertion.  There are more specific corollaries to this law.

1.      If you have to loosen several screws to remove an object, the head of the last screw will be stripped. 

2.     If you only have one nail left you will bend the crap out of it on the first whack of the hammer.

3.     When making a sandwich, you will cook the bacon, slice the tomatoes, rinse the lettuce and toast the bread before you realize you have no mayonnaise.

4.     The cable company will wait to test their system just before you find out how much the medieval sling-shot is worth on "Pawn Stars."

5.     If you have only one last screw that you need to finish a job, you will drop it.

6.     The last pistachio nut in a batch will have a rotten bitter taste.

7.     If you drop the last screw that you really need, it will hit your foot and bounce  where you will not see and you will not find it.

8.     You remember you are out of toilet paper when you most need toilet paper.

9.     When you come back from the hardware store with a screw to replace the one you lost, you will immediately find the screw that you dropped.

10.   If you write a 700 word post and forget to periodically hit save, your computer will close unexpectedly.

I suppose there are more to the list, that’s all I’ve got for know.

re-run from January 2015

JEOPARDY GOAT (Greatest Of All Time)

JEOPARDY GOAT (Greatest Of All Time)

Anyone watching the Jeopardy GOAT match?
 

If you do not watch TV except for PBS and the 6 o’clock news, then you do not know the quiz game “Jeopardy.”  You are missing out.  Get your nose out of your book and tune in.

This special tournament features the three biggest Jeopardy winners ever.  They are all Jeopardy-millionaires.

The contestants are James Holzhauer, Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter.

They are playing for a One million dollar prize.

The champion is the first to win three matches.  So far it is Jennings -2, Holzhauer-1, Rutter-0.  All three know the answer to almost every question.  Rutter seems to be the worst at buzzing in with the answer…this game takes more than just knowledge.
 

Buzzer press timing is big!

The questions for this tournament are a bit more difficult than usual.  In three matches I have known the answers to five questions and they were all sports or TV related.

I’m telling you this tournament is the equal of the Super Bowl or Basketball’s March Madness.  Every answer is important.  Every buzz-in has you on the edge of your seat.  The diverse knowledge these guys have is incredible.  

So far every contest has hinged on the “Double Jeopardy” questions or the “Final Jeopardy” question.  On “Double Jeopardy” questions, the contestant with control of the board can bet all or some of the points he has accumulated.

The match is so tight and they are all so smart that they always go “All in.” If they miss they are probably toast, if they are correct they often take the lead.

Contestants can not buzz in on a question until Alex Trebek finishes reading it.  It seems as if the player who has board control wins the buzz-in when there is a tie, so controlling the board is key to building points and also getting a shot at a “Double Jeopardy” question.

On the last question, “Final Jeopardy,” each player can bet all or some of his accumulated winnings.  Depending on the score, this can involve strategy.

The “Final Jeopardy” question is sometimes extra difficult.

The next match is Tuesday at 8:00 on ABC.  Choose a player to root for, maybe even put some money on the result, and you will be on the edge of your seat as much as any sporting event.

Or, PBS is airing a special on Climate Change and the Mongolian Pygmy Rabbit…that should be riveting also.  

Not Serious, but still

Not Serious, but still

A Cranky Opinion for

CRANKY OPINION SATURDAY

The following is the opinion of a cranky old man with little knowledge on the topic opined.  Opposing opinions are welcome but will probably be ignored.  As usual, please, no name calling, and that means you, you big stupid-head!

I try and not be political in my posts because who really gives a rat’s backside about what I think anyway.  I am no longer willing to incur the wrath of people for voicing an opinion which just might not be that of the wrath voicers.  And Holy Hanna, some of them can really voice wrath.

Yes, I do like saying wrath.

In college, years ago, we would pick sides on a subject and argue just for the fun of arguing.  Sometimes we even gained insight and adjusted our actual opinions.  

In the world today, voicing an opinion or even failing to nod in agreement with an opinion I did not share has cost me several friends.  Well apparently they were not really friends or they could not be so petty, but I thought they were friends.

Anyway, I recently read about something that I cannot stay quiet about.

A politician in Vermont has submitted a law making it illegal for anyone under 21 to use a cell phone.  The penalty would be up to a year in jail and or a $1000 fine.

Let that sink in a moment.

Before you flip out as much as I did when I read this, the politician does not seriously believe the law will be passed, and he just wants to raise awareness on the number of accidents and the potential abuse of cell phone use by those under 21 years-old.  (Whatever that might be…someone please spend millions on a study!)

Still, the fact that anyone could even think of such a law disturbs me.

What would under 21 year-olds do with themselves without a cell phone?  Have face to face discussions?  Leave the house and do stuff?  Please, if you want to see riots in the street, ban cell phones from anyone under 21.

How would you enforce such a law? Would police go to anyone using a cell phone and demand proof of age?

If cell phone usage can be dangerous, ban it from everyone.

Why are we always passing laws stopping under 21 year-olds from doing stuff?  When you are 18 you can have sex, vote, join the army, get married, and drive, but you cannot smoke or drink.

Are people smart enough at 18 to do these things, but not smart enough to smoke and drink (or use a cell phone) responsibly until you reach the magic age of 21?   

I think being a soldier, having sex and for sure marriage is way more dangerous than smoking or drinking.  And what does age have to do with voting? 

Perhaps there should be a federal exam to determine if you are too stupid to do all these things regardless of age. 

“Yes sir, a pack of Marlboros, may I see some proof of intelligence?”

“A case of Budweiser? Can you show proof you are not stupid?”

How would the test determine stupidity?   Below 60% on the stupidity scale?  50%?  What if you just had a bad day when you took the test?

And if stupid people could not vote, who would look out for their interests.  When it comes to politicians, No vote equals no care.

Maybe we should just let stupidity itself sort people out and not try and legislate it.  For the most part, stupidity is a victimless condition, stop trying to make it illegal or protecting stupid people from themselves.

The preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky.  If you think it is a stupid opinion, then ignore it!