I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THIS COUNTRY…but I am disgusted!

 

I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THIS COUNTRY…but I am disgusted!

 

Years ago, and I mean a lot of years ago, the Good Humor truck and it’s magic jingle was a standard in every community.  The man in a clean white suit sold popsicles of various flavors, the classic chocolate covered vanilla on a stick, drumsticks, the creamsicle and fudgesicle, and my favorite, toasted almond bars.

There were no strange fancy flavors, pretty much vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry ice cream and cherry, orange, lemon, and lime popsicles.  Oh yah, also my fav…raspberry.

In warm weather, after school, a truck was always waiting.  As a middle class young Cranky eight-year-old, I always had change in my pocket to make a Good Humor purchase. 

Those days I brought my lunch and purchased a small milk at school.  The milk cost three cents, and my wealthy middle-class mom would give me a dime every day for the milk.  Because I excelled in math, I know this left me with seven cents jingling in my pocket every day to invest, or to buy ice-cream.

Had I invested the seven cents every day in a hot stock like Polaroid, I would have been rich…that is until Polaroid crapped out, so instead I wisely went the eight-year-old direction and bought ice-cream.

I still remember the Good Humor prices.  Popsicles on one stick were exactly seven cents.  Two stick popsicles were a dime along with the standard bar, drumsticks, and an ice-cream sandwich.  A creamsicle or a fudgsicle (pronounced fugicle) were twelve-cents.  A toasted almond was fifteen cents, or two plus days of milk money change.

Most days I went with a seven-cent raspberry one-stick.  On rare occasions I would skip a day and after maybe cashing in a two-cent deposit coke bottle to splurge and buy my absolute favorite the toasted almond bar.

Time passes and the uniformed man and his truck has disappeared, but there is still Good Humor at the store.  In my current affluent fixed income retired state, I am able to splurge often and purchase a whole box of decadent toasted almond bars.  

The toasted almond bar is one of the few things Mrs. Cranky and I can agree on.  It may be the glue to our otherwise often contentious relationship.

The last year we have been unable to find our favorite ice-cream treat.  We assumed it was always just sold out as it was everyone’s favorite.

Horrors to horrors, I recently learned through one of ex-blogger Suldog’s daily Facebook surveys, that the toasted almond bar is no longer in production.

GOOD HUMOR NO LONGER MAKES TOASTED ALMOND BARS!!!

The most decadent treat of my childhood is gone!  They sell crap like a strawberry shortcake and bars shaped like cartoon characters but not the best ice-cream bar ever, TOASTED ALMOND!

I am disgusted.  My marriage may not survive.

At least they still sell creamsicles and fudgesicles.

Come to think of it I haven’t seen a fudgesicle bar in years.

What the Hell is happening in this country?

GOING TO WORK

 

GOING TO WORK

 

Mrs. C and I just returned from helping her son and DIL move from North Jersey to Amish country in Pennsylvania.  The move was a little over 250 miles to a very nice new two-bedroom apartment.

While the kids drove out ahead to sign papers, check in and do whatever you have to do when moving into a new home, Mrs. C led the way for Cranky to drive a van of the kids possessions.

Sounded easy enough when I volunteered driving duty, until I saw the truck.

How two kids could accumulate so much stuff that had to follow them I have no idea.  The Truck that was packed to the hilt was a 26-foot U-Haul van.  Not an eighteen-wheeler, but for an old man, it was a big honking truck.

Driving this thing about scared the stuffings out of me.  A big full truck does not accelerate very fast.  It does not slow down very fast.  When you veer just a bit while answering Mrs. C on the cell phone, it does not recover quickly.  I may have hit those wake-up strips on the highway more than a few times, and I rode them for several seconds when I did.

At one point Mrs. C called and asked,

“Is the truck pulling to the right?”

This was her polite way of asking,

“Do you know what the Hell you’re doing, or are you falling asleep?”

I assured her the only thing wrong with the steering was the driver.

Anyway, I certainly gained new appreciation for the men and women who keep our economy running by handling those really, big trucks, part of the lifeblood of our economy.

When we did reach our destination, we now needed to unload this monstrosity.  I’m a little surprised it all fit into their new apartment.  Clearly, they will be doing some crap culling over the next few weeks.

Anyway, it took the four of us three hours of hauling boxes of books, furniture and stuff.  It then took another few hours for Mrs. C to assemble shelves and storage systems that were new in the box.  I served as Mrs. C’s gofer and resident screwer and hammerer.

I won’t even go into the fiasco of trying to return the big truck.  Suffice to say it was not without incident, and when we finally dropped it off it was like taking a boulder off my chest.

Anyway, the kids are moved into a lovely apartment in a very pretty section of our country.  I expect they will be very happy as their previous situation was not particularly pleasant.

I did learn that if I choose to come out of retirement, truck driving is out of the question.  Manual labor is out of the question. Actually, standing for over three hours is out of the question.

Do Wal-Mart greeters get to sit down while they wave to customers?

This adventure is over now, and I plan on a hot bath followed by rolling around in a vat of “Hempvana“

before taking a long nap!

10 4 good buddies!

 

EXTRA STRENGTH

 

EXTRA STRENGTH

 

What is it with products that are “Extra Strength”?

I have been using a product for arthritis, HempVana.  Mrs. C tells me,

“There is a new “EXTRA STRENGTH” HempVana out, do you want to try it?”

“No, I’ll just stick with regular strength, I’m in no hurry to cure my painful joints.  I can suffer a little longer…OF COURSE get the EXTRA STRENGTH!”

Why do companies sell anything but EXTRA STRENGTH?  There should be no regular strength and one EXTRA STRENGTH.  It makes no sense.

I guess people just like the idea of stepping it up a notch.

EXTRA STRENGTH Aspirin or regular” …” hmm, I don’t want to hurt my headache, let me just go with the regular,” said on one ever!

Same thing with appliances.  We have a blender with seven speeds.  For what? 

The old blender my mom used had one speed…FAST.  I don’t recall ever thinking, “Damn, I wish I could mix my milkshake up a little slower!” 

Granted with our seven-speed mixer I use all speeds, but I always end up on HIGH.  I’ve got seven speeds, I am damn well going to use them all, but eventually I plan to mix the crap out of what ever is in my blender!

Why does my electric razor have three speeds?  Like if I’m not in a hurry to go somewhere I’ll just shave on low? Makes zero sense.

When Mrs. C dries her hair, she always uses the high heat.  Even if she is not in a hurry, she uses high heat.  Does anyone dry their hair on LOW?

“I might be a while, I’m drying my hair on LOW.”

“Why?”

“Because if you dry your hair too fast it might…your right, let me kick it up a notch, I’ll be done in a minute.”

Even my electric toothbrush has multiple speeds.  WHY? Does high speed wear your teeth down faster?  I don’t know about you, but I brush on HIGH…I’m a dare devil.

When I had to mow my lawn, my electric lawn mower only had one speed. 

I’ve never heard of a chain saw having multiple speeds. 

Why do we want a choice on personal products, but when it comes to yard work, we just want to cut the crap out of stuff?

Do they sell varmint poisons in various strengths? I mean maybe there are some people who don’t want to kill off mice and rats too quickly.  If you buy regular strength rat poison does that make you a sensitive person, or does it make you a sadist?

Why have I waited six weeks to post anything and then wasted your time with this drivel?

Maybe I’m trying to develop an EXTRA STRENGTH Blog.

BTW, this post can be read slowly, regular or extra fast…your decision.