Do I need to Call Mr. Johnson?

 

Do I need to Call Mr. Johnson?

 

The current cry to defund the police has got me to thinking.  The idea I have heard is to replace police with less violent, psychology trained counselors to reason with offenders of various laws and general rules of polite public conduct.

Many police officers, it seems are too quick to stop criminal behavior with their guns drawn.  When the police overact bad things happen.  People revolt, stores are burned down and neighborhoods are closed.  Not good.

But will psychology trained counselors be able to do the job without violence?  I doubt it. 

I have a solution from my grade school experience 65 years ago.

Now I did not go to school in a particularly tough neighborhood.  We had our lunch money bandits, our class skipping delinquents and a few nose-bloodying bullies, but it was no Compton.  Still there were troublemakers.

There were no police in our schools, no strong-armed teachers, no special disciplinary personnel, there was Mr. Johnson.

Mr. Johnson, an ex-marine, was our custodian.  He was not highly trained, he was not highly skilled, but he was well liked by everyone and when need be, he was feared.

When a student was acting up the teacher in charge would ask, “Do I need to call Mr. Johnson?”  

End of acting up.

When there was a fight, Mr. Johnson was there to break it up.  Two students held off the ground by their collars by Mr. Johnson quickly decided to shake hands and be friends.

The threat of Mr. Johnson dragging your butt to the principal’s office was enough to make most students think twice about their behavior.

I have since learned that ours was not the only school with a Mr. Johnson.  Most schools in the 60’s had a Mr. Johnson.

Under paid, and overworked, the Mr. Johnsons of the 60’s did not put up with annoying students who did not know how to behave.  The Mr. Johnsons did not have the time or patience.  They did have the street smarts and military discipline to stop punk kids quickly and without violence.

Mr. Johnson was well liked and yet at the same time feared by all.  Maybe if we defund the police, they should be replaced by old school custodians.  Men who would literally keep the streets and troublemakers clean.

These days criminals do not fear the police.  The police are afraid of a Police Brutality accusation.  The police don’t want to lose their job. The police often find their hands tied dealing with crime, every arrest is subject to an investigation. 

A Mr. Johnson doesn’t worry as much about his job or pension, it’s not that great, and there is no such thing as a “Custodian Brutality” charge. 

Young punks are hero’s when they stand up to the police, but they are assholes if they mess with a Mr. Johnson.

Break into a house, rob a store, hijack a car…

“Do I have to call Mr. Johnson?”

WE NEED TO FIX UNFAIRNESS IN SPORTS

 

WE NEED TO FIX UNFAIRNESS IN SPORTS

 

Anyone who is a fan of sports today must be as sick as I am at the total unfairness of almost all sports.

Some athletes are just so much stronger and so much faster than other athletes that it is not fair.  It is just not any fun to watch.

Take for example golf’s Bryson Dechambeau.  The man weighs 250 pounds.  Most other pro golfers are not much more than 190 pounds.  He spent the last year packing on pounds, lifting weights and building muscle so he can hit a golf ball 75 yards further than anyone else.  How is that fair?

It isn’t!

I think we should find a way to tax that strength and create an even-playing field for all golfers.  Maybe Bryson should have to hit a heavier golf ball than everyone else.  That would be fair.

There is this football player on the Kansas City Chiefs, Tyreek Hill who is so fast he is almost impossible to cover on a long pass.

I saw a YouTube clip of him chasing after a teammate to congratulate him on a TD reception.  He came from 20 yards behind and caught him before the end zone.  That is ridiculously fast.  He should have to wear weights on his shoes.  Tax his speed.  It is not fair to all the other players who were just not born fast, or did not spend their youth running and sprinting and practicing to get fast.

Giancarlo Stanton is a hitter on the NY Yankees.  He is 6’5” 255 pounds and hits the ball harder and further than any player in the league.  A few nights ago he hit two homeruns against the Red Sox that went clear out of the ball park and into the Boston streets.

Who needs that much power?  The ball only has to go about 400 feet to be a homerun and he hit it over 450 feet.  How is that fair?

It is not!  He should have to use a heavier bat.  Tax his strength.

When I am watching a sporting event, I do not want to see these athletes that are just clearly faster and stronger than all the other athletes.  It is unfair.  I am against rewarding those either born with or who work hard to achieve such exceptional abilities by having them win so often.

Other athletes are not blessed with born speed and strength or they just do not have the time or inclinations to work and achieve those abilities.  They have lives and other obligations, they should not have to give up their time in order to compete fairly. 

The exceptional athletes need to have their speed and strength taxed.  Only then will the playing field be level for all.

I’m pretty sure sports governing bodies could adjust the rules so that sports could achieve true and fair mediocrity for all.

I do not get it

 

I do not get it

NOT HELPFUL

Woke up please Cranky, woke up

Woke up please Cranky, woke up

Went to dinner it hit the spot

I had to visit a pot

Two rooms were presented I wasn’t offended

But the sign didn’t mean a lot

 

Apologies to the Everly Brothers, but a recent restaurant trip had me humming their tune. 

While Mrs. C was off visiting Disney World with her kids, I visited friend Frog to attempt to become a guitar picking geezer duo.  We can play, but timing is an issue.

“No no no, you come in after four beats!”

“Pretty sure it is five beats, there are only three beats on the last measure.”

“Nooo, it's down up, up down down down!”

“WHAT?”

After about three hours of this we went out to dinner.  We went to a nice place in the middle of the local college campus.  After a cocktail and before the entrées arrived I had to excuse myself.

A waiter directed me to the restrooms.  There were two, like most restaurants, however unlike most restaurants, both had identical gender signage.

A small plaque with a stick figure wheel chair, a stick figure with a skirt and a stick figure without a skirt.

WTF?

I gave myself a quick perusal and determined I did not have a stick figure skirt, but that was still no help.  Which room do I use, both rooms had the same sign? After much head scratching I figured it didn’t matter.  This must be part of that woke gender stuff I’ve been reading about.

Now I don’t really care that much.  I’m pretty old, I’ve seen a lot of stuff.  If I walked in on a stick figure skirt squatting I wouldn’t turn into a pillar of salt, but it just seems so silly.  Maybe a stick figure skirt person would be upset…who needs that?

Why don’t they just put up a sign on both rooms that say,

“Bathroom…knock!”

Anyway, I took a chance on door number two for my number one and it was fortunately empty.  It did have a lock which I engaged.

Is it wrong to lock the door?  If gender doesn’t matter, why lock doors?  If a stick figure skirt wants to wash it's stick figure hands and straighten out it's stick figure hair while I’m busy with number one should that be allowed?

Is locking the door un-woke?  Is un-woke a word?

From now on my dinner will be at “Outback” where I recently learned the hard way that I am a BLOKE, not a SHEILA.