1. Woman clap with flat hands so as not to make too much noise/ Men clap
with cupped hands so as to make as much noise as possible.
2. If a man’s team scores a touchdown,
they scream YEAH! And punch the air/ women do that Woo! thing and
show jazz hands.
3. A woman will always notice when
another woman has a new hairdo…they will always like it and say it is cute, the
other woman will know if they mean it or not/ If a man does anything different
to his appearance he will be told “Dude, what the Hell did you do? You look
like a (insert offensive simile here.)” the man will not care what
they really think.
4. Women almost always smile when they
are talking/ men try to look serious and or tough.
5. When something is funny, women cover
their mouth and make a tee hee sound/ men slap their knee and guffaw loudly.
6. When complimented on their new
outfit, women will say, “Target. $29.95!”/ men will just say, “Thanks,
it cost me a boatload!”
7. When their 10 year old son hits a
home run, Mom will give him a big hug and say, “You did such a good hit!”/
Dad will offer a fist bump and say, “Awesome Dude!”
8. Grandma will hug all her grandchildren
and smother them with kisses/ Grandpa will slip them some money and say, “Don’t
tell your mother.”
9. Mom will tell her children, “Finish
your supper or no dessert.”/ Dad will sweep some peas on the plate when mom
isn’t looking.
10.
Women
can watch TV, and play computer games and not miss a beat/ A Man will watch TV
and ask a dozen questions because he was distracted by a thread on his shirt.
11.
When
women cry, they sniffle and dab at their eyes/ men don’t cry, they just get
something in their eye.
12.
When
a woman gets a cold she just goes on with her life and makes everyone feel
guilty/ when a man gets a cold he is told to go to bed, he is pampered, and
then made to feel guilty.
13.
Women
get embarrassed if their child’s sports uniform is dirty/ men wipe dirt on
their child’s uniform so it looks like they’ve been in the game.
14.
Women
sip/ men gulp
15.
Woman
care deeply about social issues/ men care about issues that help them get close
to women who care deeply about social issues.
16.
While
under quarantine, women clean everything/ While under quarantine, men lift
their feet so women can vacuum under them.
That’s it, other than the obvious physical attributes, these
are the only things that differentiate men from women.
