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Monday, February 18, 2019

RANDY the GARBAGE MAN

RANDY the GARBAGE MAN

The big event at the Crankettes’ house when I put on my Grandpa Joe Hat is the arrival of Randy the Garbage Man.  Is that politically correct? Are they called Refuse Recyclers, Trash Totters, or Disposal Engineers?  

I’m pretty sure Randy would say that he is a Garbage Man.

Randy is a microcosmic example of the power of capitalism.  I understand there are functions which only government can legislate, mandate, and perform; garbage disposal as demonstrated by Randy is not one of those functions.

The garbage pickup at my municipality pales in comparison to Randy.

Randy is an independent contractor hired by the town where the Crankettes reside.  He owns his truck.  Randy collects the garbage by himself.  He drives his truck, stops, gets out, gathers the cans, empties them into the truck, compacts it, gets back in the cab and drives up to the next can. 

This is one hard working dude. Along the way, he takes time to wave to the Crankettes, save the compacting operation to display for their great enjoyment, and as he pulls away he gives the horn a short blast.  I am told by long term residents, that Randy or his father before him have not missed or been late for a pickup in twenty-five years.

The collection in my town works pretty well.  There are probably three trucks that do the work that Randy does.  There are three people to a truck, a driver and two collectors.  They work hard and do a fine job, faster, but no better than Randy.

Every two years our town’s collectors threaten or actually go on strike.  Randy never goes on strike.  Our collectors get vacation and sick days.  Randy does not get sick.  He seldom takes vacations. 

Randy is his own boss.  Randy’s boss is tough to work for.  Randy would not want to work for anyone else.

Re-run from 2012.  Last I heard Randy sold the route and is in the landscaping business.  On his last day he made a special stop at the front door to say goodbye to the crankettes.

Sunday, February 17, 2019

Stupid Headlines 021719


Stupid Headlines 021719
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.

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New Jersey woman accused of burglary flips bird in mugshot – Actually she used both fingers…double bird! Give a Jersey girl full credit for attitude.

They went to an abandoned home to smoke weed. Inside, they found a tiger. – That pot must Grrrrrrrreat!

Lufthansa Is Suing a Passenger for Missing a Flight – They can’t sue a passenger for missing a flight, if he missed the flight, he wasn’t a passenger.

‘Assman’ displays name on truck’s tailgate after license plate request denied – I’m sure I’ve seen this on a sit-com somewhere.

Half-naked woman shuts down South Carolina airport for hours – Well I know it takes me a while putting back my belt and shoes, but hours?

Ex-Cowboys running back, on trial for rape charges, shouts in court: 
'She never said no' -
I think running to the neighbors half naked 
screaming for help should qualify as "NO!"

Man says killing mountain lion with bare hands 'was just like a wrestling match' – Except his opponent had claws and fangs and was allowed to use them!

Jose Cuervo launching all-you-can-drink tequila train excursion – Must be a very expensive excursion, I heard everyone on board was loaded.

In Florida, another doorbell licker's spotted on camera – My favorite news State…What the hell, doorbell? Is that what the kids are calling it now?  WHAT…it’s really a doorbell? Never mind.

Kentucky fisherman catches massive 'goldfish' with biscuit- A huge goldfish is unusual, but one with a biscuit? That’s just crazy.  I wonder what he used for bait.

Utah mailman, 91, retires with perfect record after 69 years on job – 69 years without ever going postal! 

Really, that is amazing, not an easy job especially at age 91.

FEEL-GOOD STORY of the WEEK:

College athlete with Down syndrome wows pro golfers in Arizona – For any armature golfer to perform under these conditions with two pro’s and a large gallery is really difficult…she made par!

Just try not to smile.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday, February 15, 2019

Just remembering old stuff


Just remembering old stuff

Not much happening in the Cranky home, nothing worth posting.  I let my mind go and I start to wax nostalgia.  Not the good old days, not the bad old days, just days gone by…different times.

Remember deliveries?  Today we get deliveries of stuff we buy on-line.  Seems like every day or two there is a package left outside our front door.  In the fifties and sixties, I remember other deliveries.

The milk man left milk and butter and eggs.  Delivery was regular, every day…we drank a lot of milk.  We would leave a note if the regular order needed changing.  The milk was whole or skim.  I don’t remember any percent milk.  Sometimes whole had the cream on top and you had to shake it up.  In the spring the milk had a slight onion taste…I guess the cows were eaten onion weed.  The milk bottles were left in a metal box with a lid.  Used bottles went in the box and they were exchanged for new bottles at around four in the morning.

Mom didn’t go to the dry cleaner, that was picked up and dropped off.  Shirts came on a hanger with a cardboard sleeve on the bottom of the metal hanger.  That cardboard thing and the metal hanger made for great bow and arrow fights, who needed nerf guns?

Beer and soda were delivered.  We had an old fridge in the garage, the delivery guy just opened the garage door and left the order in the fridge.

Doctors still made house calls in the fifties, but it was rare.  I remember a doctor visit when my brothers and I had the mumps.  That was another thing that was delivered, measles, mumps, rubella (German Measles) and chicken pocks.

I think there was a grocery delivery too, at least for some of the fifties.  Mom just called it in and paid at the door.

Shoes, do they still have those foot sizing things and a salesman with that stool where you put your foot?  Seems like today you just know your size and pull out different shoes to try on without a sales person.

You made a car appointment at the local service station to get a lube, change your oil and filters, a lot of dads knew how to do it themselves.  I even remember changing spark plugs and sizing the gap.  Do cars still use those things?

We did mow our own lawns, no service for that unless you were really hoity toity.  We had a reel push mower and then later a power mower that you started with a wrap around rope.  It took several pulls and you had to know how to work the choke.  Landscaping was usually just a few bushes that needed an occasional trimming.

We had a clothes dryer, but mom preferred the outside clothes hanger, outdoor drying just made the clothes smell better.

No cable TV, everyone had an antenna on the roof or rabbit ears on the set.  Football did not broadcast NFL games if your local team was playing at home.  When the Giants played Philly, Dad would go up on the roof and turn the antennae toward Philly.  He’d be yelling “Better now?” until we got maximum reception, always snowy, but we got the game.

Winters were definitely colder in the fifties and sixties.  Every winter there was ice skating on local ponds for at least one week, sometimes two weeks.  Strangly I remember the summers being hotter than today, lots of 100-degree days…might just be because air conditioning was pretty much only in the supermarket or the movie theater.

That’s it.  Oh I have more memories, this post is just long enough for now.

What stuff do you remember?