STUPID HEADLINES 111818

STUPID HEADLINES 111818

 This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.

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Texas woman’s divorce ends in explosion of wedding dress felt ‘15 miles away’ – I know a couple of ladies that should have tried this…with the dress still on.

Naked man seen creeping around houses, peeping into windows at night – Eye witnesses could provide no description, “He was naked, I looked away!”

Man, 35, reportedly marries computer hologram – The Bible says Adam and Eve, not Adam and Deceive.

Christian student senator at UC Berkeley harassed for abstaining from pro-LGBTQ vote – No judgement, just wondering that if abstaining from voting on anything brings ostracization, why do they even take a vote?  What ever the issue, just friggin decree it.

Michigan mother gave infant methadone because she was 'being fussy' – I used to rub a little scotch on the gums of a fussy child, but I do believe methadone is a real bad idea.

Prince Charles is 'infatuated' with squirrels, keeps 'nuts in his pockets' – Does he really like squirrels? or is “Keep you nuts in your pocket” just an English expression for…you know; keep you nuts in your pocket!

Wisconsin Glassware Company Gifts Employees With Handguns for Christmas – This may or may not be a good idea, but check out the company’s product.



I need one of these!

People are paying $200 for designer Thanksgiving turkeys – I’d never pay that much, seems to me that after you cut that  first slice with the ESL logo, no one is going to know.

Heinz Offers Patrick Mahomes Free Ketchup for Life If He Throws 57 TDs in 2018 – The KC Chief QB signed for 10 million dollars, makes 4 million dollars a year for four years…Free ketchup for life is probably not high on his list of incentives to throw TD passes.

Male Gym Teacher Punished for Refusing to Watch Young Girl Strip Down in Boys Locker Room – I did not read this article, there is no way in Hell I would understand it regardless of the context.

Camel Stranded Along Snowy Pa Road – No, really, there was a stranded camel on rt 309 near Bethlehem…police are on the lookout for three wise men. *

·       Ok. I stole that comment from someone on Facebook.

 FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK

Runner volunteered to train blind athlete for marathon, then they fell in love – Feel-good story on several levels.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/blind-runner-finds-love-with-trainer/

EXCUSES

EXCUSES

A cranky opinion for

Cranky Opinion Saturday

The following is the opinion of a cranky old man with little expertise on the topic opined.  Opposing opinions are welcome, but they are wrong.  As always, please, no name calling, and that means you, you big stupid-head!

These days there are genuine excuses for any sub-par behavior or performance.  This is very helpful to many children.  Early diagnosis of a condition such as autism helps explain behavior and helps parents and teachers to provide programs that address the child’s different needs.

This is a good thing, especially for more extreme cases, however sometimes the diagnosis though accurate may provide an excuse to not achieve at the persons best.

In looking way back at my life in which I have achieved a high level of mediocrity, I believe I could have been diagnosed with several disorders.

I am left handed for many things such as eating, writing, and probably thinking (yes, lefties think different) while right handed for most physical functions.  If people tried to change and have me do everything right-handed as was common a generation before me, I think it would have negatively affected my future mediocrity.

At the age of around four or five I started having difficulty controlling tics.  I was a neck tightener, an eye blinker and throat grunter.  I am pretty sure it was and is a mild form of Tourette’s syndrome.  At the time instead of giving it a name and accepting the condition my family and friends would tell me to stop, tease me a bit, and never allow me to accept it.

Although it would have been comforting at the time to know that others had similar and far worse tics and that I was different, but not weird, not having a name for the tics forced and taught me to cover my behavior in a socially acceptable way.  In the long run, I think I was better off thinking I could stop and therefore worked to at least lessen the condition and react to the tics in a way that is less noticeable to others.

I am pretty sure that growing up and probably still today, I was a bit ADD.  Virtually any subject that was mildly dis-interesting failed to hold my attention for very long.  In college I would often go to the library with all the other hard studying students, intent to grind out a chapter or two of a subject and within five or ten minutes I could literally not keep my eyes open.

If I had been diagnosed as ADD, it might have helped me understand things, but would it also have given me an excuse to just not try harder to find a way to learn? 

I did get by with speed reading, jumping around in a book trying to sort out anything that might be important.  I didn’t study long, I really just could not, so I learned to study smart.  Not as effective as the students that could study long and hard, but if I had an ADD diagnoses, I may have just given up, why not, I would have had an excuse.

Jim Abbot was a Major League pitcher that only had one arm and a stump.  If he had allowed this condition to dictate what he could and could not do, he would have never been a professional athlete. 

If he just accepted his disability and assumed it meant he could not do things that others could then his disability would have defined him.

Instead Jim Abbot lust learned how to throw a ball, and in one smooth motion shift his glove from his stump to his good arm, field a ball and flip the glove back and make a throw.

Watching Jim Abbot play, you sensed something was different, but he was so smooth it took a while to realize he only used one good arm.  I suspect that if people made it clear to Jim at a young age that he could not do things because of his one arm, if people made excuses and did things for him, then he would have never pitched a nine inning no-hit game in the Major Leagues.

It is helpful to understand if you have a condition, it is not always productive to use the condition as an excuse.

The preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky.

The Logic Train Does Not Stop at Cranky’s House

The Logic Train Does Not Stop at Cranky’s House

The logic train makes no stops at our house.

For example:

The other night Mrs. C came home from work.

“You don’t love me do you?”

“What, sure I do, why?”

“You didn’t leave the front light on.”

“Really, I thought I did.”

“It’s not on, so unless it burned out you didn’t.”

“I’ll have to go check it.”

“Actually, I hope it did burn out, then we can change it and not worry about it burning out when we are away on our trip.”

“If you are worried about that, I could change it anyway just to be sure.”

“No, don’t waste a good bulb until you have to.”

“So, you’d rather worry during our vacation that the light is out and people will know we are not at home?”

“Just don’t change it!”

“I could put in a new bulb and save the old one and replace it back when we come home.”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“Just because.”

“But it would not be wasteful, and you wouldn’t worry about the light burning out while we were away.”

“You just don’t change a bulb until it burns out!”

Woo Woo!

There goes the logic train, right past our house.