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Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Generations


Generations

Interesting how we separate and name different generations.

There are generations we never really met, known as “The Olden Days.”

There is the generation of my parents, WW II or “The Greatest Generation”, then we had Beatniks,  Hippies, Yippies, Yuppies, Generation X and currently Millennials.

Each generation has its own music, its own way to dress, and it’s own expressions.  I find it interesting that with each generation attitudes change along with descriptive phrases.  Expressions seem to escalate.

For instance, the Greatest Generation would say something good was…”Good.”  Beatniks would call something good… “like cool.” 

It is easy to identify someone’s generation in just how they describe different events.


Something good:

“You’re getting a raise in pay.”

The olden days – “OK”

WWII – “That’s nice”

Beatniks – “Like OK…cool.”

Hippies – “Like no way man, far out, more time to make love and tune out.”

Yippies – Dude, that’s gnarly! …but how much more is ‘the man’ getting?

Yuppies – “Excellent!”

Gen X’s – “Awesome, when is my next raise?”

Millennials – “That’s like super epically awesome, so do I also get more personal days?”


If something is not so good:

“I’m going to have to let you go.”

The olden days – “OK”

WWII – “Darn”

Beatniks – “Huh…I don’t have to work? That’s cool.”

Hippies – “Let go from what, I already tuned out?”

Yippies – “Bummer”

Yuppies – “Damn”

Gen X’s – “Fuck you, I found a better job for much more money.”

Millennials – “What? Can you do that? Where do I go to file a complaint?”


Generations react differently to stress:

“We’re going to need this finished by Monday.”

The olden days – “OK”

WWII – “I’m on it.”

Beatniks – “Relax man, it’ll get done some time.”

Hippies – “We’ll see, whatever.”

Yippies – “Damn, I don’t think it can be done.”

Yuppies – “I’m worried, that’s going to take several all-nighters.”

Gen X’s – “Dude, I am FREAKING OUT!

Millennials – “I am extra SUPER FREAKING OUT!”


On spending money:

The olden days – “Just going to make do somehow.”

WWII – “We need to save for a rainy day.”

Beatniks – “Hey daddio, you like have some extra bread?”

Hippies – “Make it, grow it, borrow it or steal it.”

Yippies – “Guess I have to get a job.”

Yuppies – “I need it, I can charge it and pay for it in a few payments.”

Gen X’s – “I want it, I can charge it and my credit score will go up.”

Millennials – “I really want it, can I just open one more line of credit and pay the minimum amount for the rest of my life?”

I’m a little worried about the newest generation that is now just learning to walk.  They will probably do just fine.  To them, my generation will be “The Olden Days” and they will be super radically epic and excellently awesome!







Monday, October 22, 2018

HAS HALLOWEEN CHANGED, OR IS IT JUST MY NEIGHBORHOOD?

HAS HALLOWEEN CHANGED, OR IS IT JUST MY NEIGHBORHOOD?
a cranky re-run October 2015

I remember Halloween as being a neighborhood celebration.  The trick or treating started around dusk, with little ones making the rounds with their parents.  After dark, the bigger kids age eight to twelve came out.  After nine o’clock the oldest kids, the teenagers, made the rounds.  By ten it was over.  

If you could not be home for the trick or treaters, you left a big basket of candy out and candy was taken on the honor system.  When you came home there was still candy in the basket.

The first round was taken up with talking to the parents (all from the immediate neighborhood) and guessing what each child was dressed as and which child was which.  Guessing the costumes was easy as the parents would mouth the answer if it was not obvious.  You always guessed the wrong child in each costume, no matter how obvious. The little ones loved that you knew their costume and loved even more that you didn’t know who they were.  The little ones practically squealed “Trick or treat” with delight when you opened the door.

The second round of costumers answered with a more sedate “Trick or treat.”  They answered a few question but were intent on moving on to the next house as quickly as possible…collecting the most candy was a contest.  Whereas the little treater’s costumes were mostly store bought costumes of ghosts, witches, skeletons, or Disney characters, the second round of kids had homemade outfits.  They were football players, cheerleaders, hoboes or pirates.

The final round of kids, the teens, often had no costume at all.  Maybe a funny hat, or a store bought mask of the current President, but that was usually tilted up on the top of their head.  They often just held out there bag and said nothing…too cool to say “trick or treat” young enough to want free candy.  

I usually busted these kid’s chops.

“Yes, what do you want?”

“You know, like candy.”

“What do you say?”

“…”

“Come on, you know.”

“Trick or treat.”

“Thank you!”  Then I would hand over the candy.

By nine thirty it was lights out and candy in.  Late comers would not have their ring answered.  Even without the treat, I was never tricked.

These days, the kids come around right after school.  Parents accompany all but the teens. They hang by the street cell phones ready to call 9-1-1 because they assume every home is occupied by a potential child predator.  I seldom know anyone that comes to the door.  The costumes are always store bought, and the kids seldom say “Trick or treat” even when prompted.  They just stick out their bag and collect the candy.  Sometimes they say “thank you” sometimes they grumble that you did not give them the good candy. 

The costume parade ends around eight, except for a few delinquents that ring the bell at ten even thought the lights are all out. 

If you leave your car out, the windows will be soaped and there is usually some toilet paper thrown.  Sometimes the little assholes toss eggs at the house.

Today if you leave a basket of candy out while you are away for an hour, it will be empty when you come home…you are lucky if they leave the basket.

I remember when Halloween was fun.  It was fun as a trick or treater, and it was fun answering the door.

These days Halloween is more like a holdup, no joy, no imagination, no neighborhood party, just give me stuff because you are just supposed to give out stuff…and it better be good!

Has Halloween changed, or is it just my neighborhood?

Saturday, October 20, 2018

Stupid Headlines 102118


Stupid Headlines 102118

This weeks stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.

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White Castle CEO still works alongside nearly a dozen of her cousins – That is, if you call cracking a whip and yelling “faster,” work.

Almost half of U.S. births are unplanned, says U.N. report – Very interesting.  I have no reason to doubt this except I have had 4 children and do not recall anyone from the UN asking if my children were planned or not.  I’m pretty sure I would remember punching some asshole in the nose if I was asked.  I have never heard anyone ever being asked this question, but it is a UN report, so it must be true.

In Canada, marijuana is now legal – So is their national anthem now “Oh Cannabis?”

Police find stolen doughnut van – If there is one thing cops can find, it is doughnuts!  (Actually they handed them out to the Homeless)

Kathy Griffin Flips out on Trump Over Stormy Daniels ‘Horseface’ Dig: ‘F— You Mushroom D—‘ The President lacks class when he calls a woman ‘Horseface’ but in his defense, mushroom dick might be worse…Also, anyone remember when KG used to be really funny?

Kangaroo meat served to Nebraska school students – Is this how 21 Jump Street came about?

Man Who Murdered Mom With Hammer Sobs as He Asks Judge for Second Chance – What the heck?  Does the guy have another mother?

California teen bitten by shark offered free lifetime fishing license - Just as long as he stops using his leg for bait.

A 9-year-old Canadian cashes in on the long lines for pot and sells out her Girl Scouts cookie supplyI’m sensing a future Fortune 500 CEO.


DICKHEAD of THE WEEK GOES TO:

A white woman people have dubbed 'Golfcart Gail' called the police on a black man for cheering on his son during a soccer game – This makes me hate white people, not me, I am 1/1024 African American.



DICKHEAD RUNNERUP

Police officers searching for missing child find note shaming them for parking in space reserved for parents – Because convenient parking for a parent is so much more important than finding a missing child.  Clearly the cops should have circled the lot looking for a space.



FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK

Walmart employee uses break to paint nails for woman with disability – Sometimes it is the little things that make a feel-good story.