Stupid Headlines 060318

 Stupid Headlines 060318

Jetstar passenger escorted off flight for violent outburst, making children cry – If you’ve ever sat on a plane with a crying child you would know that of all the horrible things a passenger could do on a plane, making children cry has to be the worst!

Woman claims crude Southwest passenger masturbated during entire flight – The entire flight?  The flight was from Las Vegas to Philadelphia, apparently what starts in Vegas never finishes.

Dick's Sporting Goods shares surge as retailer raises earnings forecast – No! I will not make a crude comment about a surge causing Dicks to rise.

Jersey Shore real estate sign washes up in France years after Hurricane Sandy – Can that piece of Jersey Shore real estate be far behind?

Plane makes emergency landing after passengers vomit, faint from 'unbearable' smell of 'unwashed' man onboard – They could have dropped those emergency oxygen masks.

Comic Samantha Bee, TBS suddenly contrite after backlash over vile, 'c-word' attack on Ivanka Trump – What is the big deal, she is a conservative isn’t she?

Harvard gives Hillary Clinton award for 'transforming society – Along with the award, she also got a juice box and a gluten free non-GMO apple.

Trump says he’s considering pardoning Martha Stewart – It’s a good thing, but Martha may have preferred if it came before she served her time in jail.

Treasure trove discovered at ancient fort destroyed by Vikings – That’s a shame, they find a treasure trove and along come a bunch of Vikings and they destroy it.

Flying A-Hole of the Week:

Televangelist is asking his followers to buy him a $54 million private jet - Always a tough choice, but Jesse Duplantis, grab your award, you’ve earned it!

FEEL-GOOD story of the week:

Kind busker helps blind girl with severe autism play guitar – If this doesn’t tug at your heart, you have no heart to get tugged.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/3312920/autistic-blind-musician-grimsby/

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STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

Formerly Exit 12

Formerly Exit 12

I don’t know if this is a Jersey thing, but it always gets my head a scratching.  Half of our highways have changed their exits.  No, they have not changed the physical exit, they just change the number.

Sometimes they go from designating an exit by the number of exits, (I.E. Exit 3 would be the third exit from the start) to exit by mile marker (Exit 72 is at mile marker 72.)

So, on half the highways I travel the exit markers say “Exit 12…formerly exit 3”.

What numb-nutz decided to change the Exit numbers? And for crap sake make up your mind, either make all exit numbers based on the exit number, or the mile marker, one or the other, not either or and don’t change the formula every so often.

So, in these here parts when someone asks, “What exit do I take?” 

Half of the time you answer, “I’m not sure, it used to be exit 12.  Just look for the Exit that says “Formerly Exit 12.” 

Of course, this becomes a problem when it is decided that the “Formally” designation is no longer needed.  Then again, I never know when they drop the “Formerly’’ mention, I don’t think they ever do. 

I think eventually they will change the exits back or perhaps to a new Exit Designation formula all together.  They will have to make the sign say

“Exit 17… formerly Exit 3...Used to be Exit 8 and for you really old folks it was Turn-off for Taylors Pkwy, now Broad Street.” 

Good luck spotting that exit.

What brought on this rant?

Just the other day we passed an exit on Rt. 280 that said “Exit 23 A…formerly 23 B.”  Seriously? Why dd 23 A go to 23 B?

I forgot, this is Jersey, some politician must have an Uncle who makes Highway Signs.

 

English Leather

English Leather

Valarie, the lovely blogger from the UK http://allsortsforallsorts.blogspot.com/

commented on a recent post that she did not know what my reference to “English Leather” was.  Funny that someone from the UK would not know about “English Leather.” 

She did assume it was not like leather from a shoe.

Anyone from the USA who grew up in the 60’s surely remembers “English Leather” that infamous cologne worn by pimply-faced teenage boys hoping to get lucky.

When used sparingly, “English Leather” was probably quite pleasant, certainly more pleasant than the actual smell of a pimply-faced teenage boy.

Legend has it that at one time an attractive young lady told a pimply-faced teen boy that she liked the pleasant odor of “English Leather.”

Word spread that “English Leather” drove women wild, and teen boys doubled down on its use.

(Young people may need to just think “Axe.”)

For years, young girls were subjected to the much over application of “English Leather.” For the sake of continued dating, since all young boys used the stuff, young girls said nothing.

Only after millions of young men finally won the affections of young women were they advised to stop splashing that horrid stuff all over. 

It does not take long for those millions of men to advise other young men that “English Leather” was not an aphrodisiac.

The stuff probably still exists in cupboards of homes long left by former young boys, or perhaps in some ancient abandoned but undisturbed college dorms. 

I don’t actually know what the leather of a worn old English saddle smells like, but I suspect the odor would bring back memories of, “No, don’t!” and perhaps even a quick slap to the face.