STUPID HEADLINES 021818

STUPID HEADLINES 021818

it is time again for

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.

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Spain cracks secret code on King Ferdinand's mysterious 500-year-old military letters – “We are surrounded by overwhelming forces, send Hel…”

Trump says he 'looks forward' to speaking at CPAC – Why would he speak at a anti-snoring breathing device?

Pastor insists nothing happened with bound naked man in car – I think having a bound naked man in the car is enough, does anything else have to happen?

Arizona woman goes to bed with 'pounding' headache, wakes up with British accent – I’ve heard that sometimes it happens the other way around.

Why are Olympic medalists celebrating with stuffed animals? – Because the real things won’t hold still!

Passenger's cigarette break causes massive airport delays – What? They couldn’t wait five minutes?

Pakistani students rally against Valentine's Day – We do that in the USA, it’s called “not sending a card!”

Amazon sex toys mystery: Unsolicited parcels sent to strangers – That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Elk dies after jumping into low flying research helicopter – Researchers report, “Elk can jump really friggin high!”

Pilot forced to make emergency landing after fight breaks out over farting passenger – A rare emergency landing because a plane had too much gas.

AND FROM FLORIDA:

Florida woman claims mayor wanted sex in exchange for speed bumps – At my age; is there a difference?

FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK:

world's worst attempted robbery – I love a good robbery screw-up story and this is as good as it gets!

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2018/02/15/is-this-worlds-worst-attempted-robbery.html

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Come back next week for more

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

No Opinions

No Opinions

A cranky Opinion for

Cranky Opinion Saturday

The following is the opinion of a simple stupid cranky old man who may have had a glass or two of wine too many.  Opposing opinions probably will be very sensitive and accepting as opposed to my bigoted disgusting stupid white cranky old man opinions.  I am sorry. 

No opinions? Oh, I have opinions.  I have lots of opinions.  I am just afraid to voice them. 

Are there any opinions today that don’t offend someone?  Are we stuck in a society where we must first consult a poll before we dare to voice an opinion? 

Are we locked into an opinion such that if we decide to change our mind…TOO LATE, in 1998 you said, XXX, so therefore get in your box, we know who you are!

I have opinions, I am just afraid to voice them.  I am insensitive, I am misogynistic, I am clearly xenophobic, and I don’t even know what that means.  I am obviously a racist because I am white and I vote Republican most of the time…OK, ALL the time. 

What, like you’ve ever voted non-Democratic?

I have an opinion on undocumented aliens.  I used to call them illegal aliens because they were here illegally, but I now know that that is insensitive so I call them undocumented.  I myself am an undocumented genius. 

I used to favor immigrants that followed the rules and had something special to offer this great country, but I have been educated to understand that we need diversity, and if that means we accept some unemployables, misfits, terrorists, and ignoramuses, then that is diversity, and diversity is good.

Of course, smokers are bad, we don’t need that kind of diversity.  I hate smokers.  Now if you are addicted to heroin or cocaine or meth, then we need to understand and help you; but smokers? We need to hate smokers.

I am an ignorant person.  I don’t understand why a man who feels like a woman will get a sex change and then become a lesbian.  Why not just be an effeminate man that likes women?  I don’t judge sexuality, really, I don’t.  I don’t understand, but then some people do not understand heterosexuality.  None of my business.  I just want people to be happy and productive. 

I have had gay people I thought were my friends call me a Breeder.  Apparently, that is what gay people call straight people…Breeders; like all we do is breed and procreate. Is that insensitive?  Can't be,  gay people are never insensitive, they get a free pass.

Is being a Breeder a bad thing?  I don’t know anymore.  I was offended, but then I know I am not particularly enlightened.  I probably am not allowed to be offended.

I no longer know what to say.  If you say “mankind” you are a pariah…apparently it is now “people-kind.”  How do some languages still exist that put a gender on everything? 

In French, is a chair le chaise or les chaise?

Do the French now fight about the gender of every object in their language?

I am just a simple stupid cranky old man.  Do we get any special treatment?  Why aren’t people sensitive to simple stupid cranky old men. 

Why can’t I say Black instead of African American and be accepted because I am just a simple stupid cranky old man? 

Give me some room.  

I like all kinds of people.  I am still just a little politically incorrect. Everything changes too fast for me to adjust.  I am just a simple stupid cranky old man.

I don’t know why Oriental is so bad and Asian is just fine.  I don’t understand why Black is bad, but African American is fine.  I understand that Wop is bad, because an Italian will kick your ass, but Black used to be OK, then it became African American and now it all depends.  I do know that Towel-head is offensive, but I also have trouble with knowing who is Indian, Iranian or Pakistan, and the wrong identification will make people really angry.

I don’t know where I am going with this, I guess my point is that I am a simple stupid cranky old man.  I don’t want to offend anyone.  I like most people I have ever met.  You know who I don’t like?  I don’t like cheats and crooks and assholes.

There are cheats and crooks and assholes from all colors, cultures, religions, genders and sexual preferences.  Some of the biggest cheats, crooks and assholes I know are straight white men. 

I pretty much like everyone I have ever met and I hate everyone else. 

It does not matter your religion, your race, your culture, your gender, your sexual preference, if I have not yet met you, I hate you.  If I get to know you, I will probably end up liking you…unless you are a crook, a cheat or an asshole.

Meanwhile, I am just a simple stupid cranky old man…don’t hate me.

The preceding was the opinion of a simple stupid cranky old man who may have had one too many glasses of wine.  It is not necessarily the opinion of management…Mrs. Cranky.

SMALL CLAIMS

SMALL CLAIMS

What a rig-a-ma-roll my step-son (SS) has gone through recently. 

He had a slight accident on Christmas Eve.  Late at night he was backing out of a space at a gas station convenience store.  It was dark, it was snowing, and he did not see a large black pick-up truck. 

He backed into it. 

The other driver and his passenger blamed SS.  SS did not know what happened.  He got into his car and no one was behind him, he started the engine, turned on the lights, checked his mirrors and backed up…then bang.

Both vehicles had minor damage. SS has not yet repaired his dented fender and he may not bother as everything is still functional. 

The young truck driver, (TD) surveyed the damage and asked SS for $500 cash.  SS declined, he has insurance, he does not have $500 cash. 

Mrs. C and I at first thought it was a set up for money, we are now leaning away from that theory.

The accident was reported to the police.  SS reported the incident to his insurance company, and the insurance company determined that with a witness, it was SS’s fault.

For the next several weeks TD and TD’s father made several calls to SS demanding money. TD even came to SS’s home once and someone, probably TD’s father, called and claimed to be an insurance representative threatening legal action.

Throughout all this ridiculous harassment, SS just said,

“I’ve turned this to my insurance company, they will handle it from here.” 

TD and TD’s father threatened legal action anyway.

A few weeks ago, SS got notice from the insurance company that all claims had been paid and the incident was closed.  Repair to the truck was $1200, and TD was also reimbursed $1200 for a rental car for 19 days.

19 DAYS? I know!

Last week SS got notice he was being sued $400 in small claims court.

TD had taken out insurance on his 19-day rental that he did not need to as he had collision from his truck.  The insurance  company did not pay for this $400 unnecessary charge.  TD did not understand and did not reach out to the insurance company for an explanation, he just filed a small claims suit.

Today (2-14) Mrs. C and I went to court to support SS.  He did not need us, he handled it well. 

We got to court at 8:45.

At 10:45 SS and TD went to a mediation room where TD found for the first time why he was denied the $400.  He mumbled some stupid stuff.  He claimed he did not have insurance.  It was pointed out that his truck was a 2018 worth about $35000 and it would be unusual to not insure the truck, but to take out insurance on a rental. 

It was suggested that he needed to prove he did not have collision on his truck which would apply to the rental.  He mumbled that he was told he would have no expense and demanded to go to trial.

At 12:30 we left SS as Mrs. C had work.

At 1:30, TD asked for a trial postponement, SS did not agree. 

At 3:00 the case was called and TD was nowhere to be found.

At 3:30 SS won the case by default because TD had gone home.

This case has been like the monster in the movie that never dies.  Just when you think it is over it is not.

TD and his father were playing the role of bullies.  They first wanted a quick $500 and then they would probably have still continued to demand more.  Then they managed to rip off the insurance company for as much as possible, (how the insurance company would not consider a 19-day rental for a fender bump unreasonable I’ll never know), but at least in the end, SS paid nothing (except for probably higher future rates) and TD is out $400 because he was greedy; he was a bully, but most of all he is really stupid!

Did I also mention he and his father are complete assholes?

No?  Well I don't want to leave that out.

TD and his father are both complete assholes!