A PLANT ON A ROCK IN THE RIVER

A PLANT ON A ROCK IN THE RIVER

This re-run is from September 2014

Several years ago, while on a fly-fishing trip with my friend Frog, I came across a plant on a rock in the river.  If I was catching fish and not sitting on the river bank trying to untangle my rat’s nest of a line I would not have even noticed the plant on a rock in the river.  I intended to take a picture of it, but I was afraid of dropping my camera/phone in the river.  It looked much like the picture above only even smaller and more pitiful.

The plant on the rock in the river caused me to wax philosophically.  

How did it get there?  Did a blob of mud just happen to stick to the rock?  Did a seed float in the breeze and just happen to land and stick in that blob of mud?  The river was at a seasonal low point.  It would just be a matter of time before a rainfall would cause the water to rise and the plant on the rock in the river would wash away.

What was the purpose of the plant on a rock in the river?  It was a seed which miraculously found a nitch in which to grow into a plant that had no chance of survival.  

Somehow it spoke to me.

It spoke to the fragility of life.  It demonstrated how even a tiny seed could fight for life, would cling to a tiny slab of mud and fight to grow and perhaps reproduce.  Its roots were blocked by solid rock less than an inch below the slab of mud.  A river raged just inches away from pulling the slab of mud and the plant into its watery demise.

My struggle with untangling my line was so infinitesimal compared to that plants fight to exist. 

When times get rough, when life seems hard, I think of that plant on a rock in the river.  The water will inevitably rise, but that is not an excuse for not clinging to the slab of mud stuck to the rock.  Who really knows when the rain will come?  Who knows if the plant might just hang in long enough to flower and to have its seeds pollinated and scattered in the wind to land on another slab of mud and continue the species? 

Why does the plant cling to the mud on the rock in the river? 

Because it can. 

Because it must.    

A Drastic Change To Save A Great Game

A Drastic Change To Save A Great Game

A cranky opinion for

CRANKY OPINION SATURDAY

The following is the opinion of a cranky old man with little expertice on the topic opined.  Opposing opinions ae welcome, but they will be wrong.  As always, no name calling, and that means you, you big stupid-head!

I love football!  It is the worlds greatest team sport.  It takes strength, speed, endurance, skill and teamwork, it especially takes teamwork.  On any given play, if one person does not follow his assignment, a play will not work.  It is a great team sport.

The problem with football is the injuries, particularly head and spinal injuries, and now we are finding also long-term disabilities from concussions.  If there are no drastic changes to the game, it will go the way of the Dodo bird.

Parents will not allow their children to play at the pee wee level, and high school programs will disappear.  Without new players coming to the game, college and professional football will soon be a memory. 

Something has to be done to preserve this great sport and fall tradition.

There is an argument that eliminating the helmet will stop players from leading with their head as a battering-ram weapon.  That actually could work, but I doubt mom’s around the country would let their child risk the small less life-threatening injuries that would skyrocket.  Black-eyes, missing teeth, broken noses deep bruises and cuts are not things that moms will shrug off.

I am suggesting a major change to the game, a change to the way the game was played back in the fifties and sixties in high schools and colleges.  Bring back the run and eliminate or drastically reduce the amount of passing.

Why is this a good idea?  Studies have shown that today, 65% of offensive plays are passing and that 98% of head, spine injuries, and concussions occur on passing plays. 

(OK, you got me, I made that up, but I suspect that if they did do a study on the subject that is what they would find.)

Head injuries occur when the ball is in the air and eyes are on the ball. Players are running full speed on passing plays and the defensive player is rewarded for hard hits that dislodge the ball and cause incompletions. Players reaching for the ball and not seeing the defenders or quarterbacks throwing the ball at the last instant before being hit are in the most vulnerable positions for helmet to helmet contact.  Intentional or unintended, those are the hits that are going to ruin football.

Running plays typically do not end in full speed blind side contact.  Players can brace themselves for a hit and avoid head to head contact.

The pass play is exciting, but as anyone who watched last weeks Army Navy game will tell you, the game is just as much fun to watch when there is no passing.  Played in the snow by two teams that specialize in the run, this game may have had four passing plays and it was a nail biting strategic spectacle to watch.

So, there is the solution to saving this wonderful game; end or drastically deemphasize the forward pass. 

My suggestions?

Make the forward pass illegal altogether, or:

1.     Allow only (X number, 1 or 2) pass plays per possession

2.     Only allow 2 eligible receivers on any play

3.     Make the quarterback wear a boxing glove on his throwing hand

4.     The quarterback must declare “Pass” before any passing play and then a run is not allowed.

5.     Allow holding on running plays

6.     Defense must have at least three players line up ten yards off the ball

That’s it, my Cranky suggestions to saving the wonderful game of football.  I’ll let the experts decide on some or all of these suggestions.

You may not like the changes, but unless they are implemented, we will all be watching soccer on New Years Days in the future.

The preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man, and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky.  

4 WEDDINGS…the grooms keep score

4 WEDDINGS…the grooms keep score

Another post on Reality TV, I know many of you are above Reality TV and only watch PBS and the news, so I give you permission to skip this post.

I often watch a show called “4 Weddings.”  No, I am not gay, well maybe a little; my wife makes me watch this show.  The idea is four brides attend each other’s wedding and then grade it on various criteria.  The bride with the best wedding gets sent on a honeymoon in the Caribbean.   Why people who spend upwards of $100,000 on a wedding, need to win a contest to go on a honeymoon is beyond me, but that is the prize.

I love how these brides rate a wedding, the things they find important are interesting, and what one loves, another say’s “I am not a fan of…”

Typical comments:

“The minister talked too much.”  “I thought the minister was funny.”

“I liked their personal vows, but their kiss was too short.” “Loved the kiss, hated the vows.”

“Sally looked heavy in her dress” (Sally was fat, what do you expect?) “Sally’s dress was beautiful.”

“I did not like the signature cocktail.” (What is this signature cocktail thing, and if you don’t like it, don’t drink it!) “The signature cocktail was delicious.”

“The chicken was dry and the steak was raw.”  (Banquet chicken is always dry, and the steak was cooked perfectly, ladies just don’t know that medium rare is pink. Order it medium or medium well, or like my ex-wife ‘burn the shit out of it until there is no juice!’) No bride ever likes the food.

“I was not a fan of the music.” “The music was loud and perfect for dancing.”

“The table decorations were not very fancy.” “The table decorations were tastful.”

Then they complain about things that could not be controlled.

“It was cold”

“It rained.”

“I saw a bug and it creeped me out!”

The final ratings:

“I give this wedding a 4 out of 10” “I give this wedding a 5 out of 10.”

You get the idea.

I’d like to see the same show, only with the grooms rating the wedding.

“I missed the ceremony, I assume they got married.”  “Me too.”

“The cocktail party was great, there was booze.” “I liked the booze.”

“The bride’s maids were hot.”  “I liked the hot bride’s maids.”

“There was food, it was good.”  “I liked the free food.”

“The groom had a tux, very classy.”  “His tux had tales, good choice.”

“There was dancing, the bride’s maids had too much of the signature drink and were loose.” “I liked the dancing and the loose bride’s maids.”

“I got drunk and almost had a date with the blonde bride’s maid until my fiancé stepped in.” “I got drunk and almost had a date with the blonde bride’s maid until my fiancé stepped in.”

“I give this wedding a 10 out of 10.” “I give this wedding a 10 out of 10.”

The brides scoring gives the winner to the bride with the best dress.

The grooms scoring would always end in a tie.