Stupid Headlines 021917

Stupid Headlines 021917

If you want my wooden shoes you'll have to pry them off my old splintered feet!

It’s time again for

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments. 

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State Investigating Tucson Cosmetologist Who Gave Free Haircuts – His license expired, he was stopped from helping the homeless; good job! Government regulation has saved the Tucson homeless population from having nice hair.  I know I feel safer.

Church bell ringer thrown in the air after getting foot caught in rope, rescuers say – The man was not seriously disabled, and I can’t help but snicker whenever I picture this happening…I may be going to Hell.

$325K wedding nixed after brawl erupts at rehearsal dinner, suit says – This is terrible, I should feel sorry for all involved, but if you are spending 325 thousand dollars on a wedding…Ha ha ha ha ha ha! ...I am definitely going to hell.

Wife arrested on Valentine's Day after husband flees in boxers – Another case of mixing up your wife and your girlfriends card…oops!

Why UPS trucks (almost) never turn left – They want to make delivery great again.

Tennessee Man Slapped With $50 Ticket for ‘Obscene’ Bumper Sticker of Stick Figures – I think all those stick figure family things are obscene.

Liberal moms reportedly force school to cancel skating party at Trump rink – These same ladies stopped playing bridge every week because almost all hands were bid One No Trump.

Amanda Knox reveals same-sex, non-sexual relationship in Italian prison – Some people call these types of relationships “Friends.”

Harvard Computer Science Students in Trouble for Dating App With Only Two Genders – “Twenty six members of Harvard’s Undergraduate Council signed a letter admonishing the dastardly programmers for not including other genders (including “genderqueer” and “non gender-conforming”) in their list of options.”

They also left out Bi, Tri, Why, and Fatoldbaldcranky-sexuals.

NASA thinks there might be aliens on Jupiter’s moon – We’re going to need a much bigger wall!

Man Hires Hitman To Kill His Wife And Daughter, But Accidentally Texts The Plan To His Boss Instead – His contact said “Headman” not “Hitman.”  Somethings are probably better not sent as texts anyway.

Fox News Poll: Voters divided over trusting Trump or the media – That’s like asking a 4-year-old to choose between lima beans and Brussel sprouts.

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AND THE FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK:

Puppy Rescued From Well After 11 Days is Adopted by Firefighters Who Saved It – I am a sucker for dog stories…

http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/puppy-rescued-well-10-days-adopted-firefighters-saved-watch/

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COME BACK NEXT WEEK FOR MORE

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

Just Move Forward

Just Move Forward

Another cranky opinion for

CRANKY OPINION SATURDAY

The following is the opinion of a cranky old man with no expertise what-so-ever on the topic opined.  Opposing opinions are welcome, but they are wrong.  As always, please, no name calling, and that means you, you big stupid head!

Not that many generations ago, people traveled by horse.  They traveled on horseback, or they rode in wagons pulled by horses.  They traveled on crappy dirt or muddy roads.  But then, for the most part, people did not travel all that far.  Horseback or cart was good enough most of the time and dirt roads were fine if you didn’t have to travel very far.

Most people were fine with traveling by horse.

Early in the last century a motorized cart was invented.  It was called a horseless carriage and eventually, a car.  Those cars were different, they were noisy, they broke down a lot, and they were expensive.  Only the very rich could own one and it was mostly just a novelty.

Then, in 1913, Henry Ford started making cars by a new assembly line process.  Cars were affordable for more people and they were a bit more reliable.  As more people owned cars which traveled faster, roads slowly started to improve to accommodate the new transportation mode.  Still, the cars were difficult to drive, they were temperamental, fuel was not available at every corner, and the tires they ran on punctured easily.

By today’s standards those old cars were a mess.  No one would buy one today or want to take one cross country especially on those old crappy roads.  If in those 19teens the government mandated all citizens to purchase a car, there would have been a riot.

“These ‘cars’ are a disaster!  They break down, they are less reliable and more expensive than travel by horse, they are noisy, and fuel is not always easy to come by.  Mandating travel by car is crazy…BRING BACK THE HORSE AND BUGGY!”

If something new is not all it could be, should we just throw it away and go back to what was.

Yes, I’m talking about Obamacare.  Obamacare is a mess.  It is too expensive.  Doctors don’t like it, people avoid joining, and companies are dropping out of the system.  It is a disaster.

Except some people now have coverage they never had before and get care they may have avoided in years past.  

They may not go to emergency care where their expense in one way or another cost everyone to treat an illness that may have been prevented.

People with preexisting conditions are not left out in the cold and millions who want coverage can get it.

The early cars sucked; should they have been abandoned, or enhanced and improved?

Obamacare sucks, but without it, we would have never changed our healthcare system.  Now we are stuck with some good along with a whole lot of bad with a system that was forced down our throats because we were afraid of any change at all. 

I have no more of an idea how to improve our healthcare system than I would have known how to make a better car in 1910.  But we have innovative intelligent people in this country.  Get out of their way, keep politics out and Obamacare will be allowed to evolve into a better system.  It can’t and it won’t happen overnight, but if we allow innovation, problems will be resolved and we will have a system which keeps improving.

Or we could go back to bloodletting.  I’m told that while most people simply bled to death, it actually did cure a few very rare conditions…and it was a very inexpensive process.

The preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man, and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky.  

OLD STUFF

OLD STUFF

I love old stuff.  Old stuff is interesting, old stuff tells a story.  Sometimes you have to imagine the stories, but that is part of the fascination of old stuff.

I did not always love old stuff.  Growing up we had a lot of old stuff, and my grandparents had really old stuff.  I was jealous of my friend’s homes which had modern furniture and plush wall-to-wall carpeting. We had old furniture and hard wood floors partially covered with old rugs.

As I got older, I learned that some old stuff was called antiques, hard wood floors were nicer than plush wall-to-wall carpet and old rugs made in Persia were called Oriental carpets.  Now one of my favorite TV shows is the “Antiques Roadshow.”  I like seeing other family’s heirlooms and hearing the stories behind those heirlooms.

When my mom passed, her old stuff and some of my grandparent’s old stuff was divided among three brothers, and some of that has since been divided among the children of said brothers.  When I visit my children, my brother or my sister-in-law it is always fun and nostalgic to see some of the old stuff I grew up with. 

Of the items I inherited, my favorite is an old desk.  I’m not sure when it was made, probably Civil Warrish, or earlier.  The desk is solid, it has  ornate carving, it is interesting.  It is hard to imagine that it was built piece by piece by hand.  No power tools, just patience and skill.

Here is the desk.

It is large and substantial.  Behind the drop down cover are several drawers and cubby holes

With the top down.

The decorative columns pull out for secret hiding spaces.

Hidden compartments in the columns

The ornate door has my great-grand parent’s family crest carved into it.  Behind the door are two more drawers and cubby holes.

Drawers behind the ornate door.

The ornate column hiding places are fairly common in older furniture, but if you pull out the right-hand column completely, it allows the two drawers and cubbies to be pulled out and reveal a hiding place not so common.

Surprise behind the drawers

Three more drawers

I suppose the days before fancy hidden safes, convenient banks with checking and safe deposit boxes, and distrust for what banks were in town; people had to be creative.  Instead of safes and safety deposit boxes, it was furniture that hid valuables and important papers.

That is about all I know of this desk, but in my mind, I can make up plenty of stories about where this desk has been and what it’s secret places held.