STUPID HEADLINES 061916

STUPID HEADLINES 061916

It is time again for

That got my attention

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.  

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Dutch woman jailed in Qatar after reporting rape convicted of 'illicit sex' – Woman found guilty after given a drugged drink and then raped.  Call me a bigot; I still think the Middle East is just a little backward.

London mayor bans Tube ads that promote unhealthy body image – Finally! Now it is safe to visit London.

Chicken chain refuses to fry its chicken – Irish fast food chain “WeBE” (We Boil Everything) insists on sticking with its roots.  “People love our boiled chicken sandwich and French boiled potatoes.

Broncos DC Wade Phillips Says His Super Bowl Ring Had the Name Spelled Wrong – NFL vows to change engraver from “Bubba and Bubba” to “Patel and Patel.”

Man lives 555 days without a heart – Big deal, I have 2 ex-wives who have gone 55+ years and still counting.

Homeowner says 19 vehicles have crashed into his house since 1960 – He might want to consider rebuilding just a skosh further off the road.

How to Survive a Gator Attack: 'Fight Like Hell,' Wildlife Experts Say – Good to know!

Taliban reportedly use 'beautiful' boys to infiltrate, kill Afghanistan police – OK, now I understand, homosexuality is an abomination…UNLESS you are diddling little boys, so homosexual bad, pedophilia good…what are we doing in this country?

Oakland police chief fired after six days on the job amid sex scandal – From a new game show, “I can lose that job in six days.”  “OK, lose that job.”

Most modern marriages are invalid, Pope says – Where was the Pope when I really needed him?

Scientist uses apples to grow human ears – Just imagine what he could do with a cucumber!

Or

Most Scientists still use cauliflower.

Or

What’s wrong with the traditional ear of corn?

Kenyan court upholds use of anal probes to determine sexuality – That is one solution, but it does slow down the lines to the bathrooms.

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Come back next week for more

STUPID HEADLINES

You Don’t Know Me

You Don’t Know Me

Cranky Opinion Saturday

I often post on my personal opinions.  Truthfully some of these opinions are not always well thought out.  I am not a politician, a policy maker, and I doubt I am an opinion changer.  Occasionally my opinions anger others.  It is never my intent.  Sometimes I think people put me in a box based on my opinions.  These people do not know me.

Sometimes I don’t think I even know myself.

I love animals, I can’t bear to kill them.  I do understand hunting as a sport, and we have too many deer on our highways; sometimes the herd needs to be culled.  I just can’t do it.

I am heterosexual (except for watching “Say yes to the dress.”) I don’t understand alternate lifestyles, but I believe gay people should have the same rights to love, and marry whomever they please the same as straight people.  A world without gay people would be missing some color.  

I don’t care who uses what bathroom, just don’t act creepy.

I am fortunate to not be living in poverty and I hate that many people are, but I don’t believe poverty is something that can be simply solved by legislation.  We need to be compassionate, but you can’t just end inflation by mandating wage and price freezes and you can’t raise the standard of living by mandating wage increases.  We do need to assure as level a playing field as possible and provide education, opportunity and incentive for all.

I don’t like taxes, but understand they are necessary.  Taxes should be at a level that maximizes revenue to meet the needs of government without killing incentive to work, invest and prosper.

I believe in freedom of religion and freedom from religion.

I believe all men are created equal and yes, by men I also mean women.

I believe we need regulations to assure safe food, streets, fair business practices and many,  many other facets of society, but we need to be mindful that regulations often have unintended consequences.

I believe in the second amendment, but do not believe in the “slippery slope” mentality of no restrictions at all.  I don’t believe citizens can own a tank or a bazooka, or atomic weapons, surely we can draw a line somewhere between sporting and defense arms and arms designed for killing lots of people.  Surely we can better insure pistols and shotguns are owned only by responsible users.

I think smoking is bad for your health, and drugs and alcohol can be abused, but people should be able to choose for themselves as long as their indulgences don’t detract from the rights of others.

I believe in healthcare for all, but understand that it will never be fair and equal and yes it is expensive.  I believe healthcare decisions should be made by healthcare providers and not by bureaucrats.

I used to believe that smoking in public places was just fine.  I used to think that having to clean up after your dog was silly.  I hated the idea of mandatory seatbelts in cars. I have learned that my beliefs have been and can be very wrong. 

I am aware that there are many, many people way smarter than I am.  I also believe that very smart people can be as dangerous as they can be an asset.

I believe in “Love thy neighbor.” I also believe in “Trust but verify.”

I believe I am a very fortunate person and am very thankful for all I have and for the many wonderful people in my life.   

My favorite quote is from Warren Buffet,

“Somebody once said that in looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if you don’t have the first, the other two will kill you. You think about it; it’s true. If you hire somebody without [integrity], you really want them to be dumb and lazy.”

I believe this sentiment also applies to our elected officials. 

There is more to me than these beliefs, but I also have a short attention span.  If I left out important beliefs or if I offended anyone with my beliefs, I am sorry. 

The world is very complicated and I am not.

Golf, so named by the Scots because “Oh Shit” was Already Taken

Golf, so named by the Scots because “Oh Shit” was Already Taken

Please, if you are going to tell me that it is just silly to chase a little ball around a field and try to put it in a hole, just move on; that’s like saying…well OK it is just chasing a little ball around a field and trying to put it in a hole…still, just move on.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”

I have always hated these oft repeated words of wisdom.  I believe in “If first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”

I have been playing golf for 54 years.  I am beginning to understand the wisdom of the first words of sage advice.  I have tried and tried again and again for 54 years.  Clearly I am insane.

The other day at the driving range I found my rhythm.  I found a new mantra. 

Backswing slow, pause at the top, swing through the ball.

Success!  I hit the ball sooo goood.   I had to go back to the range one more day before attacking the course with my new found swing and rhythm.

Backswing slow, pause at the top, swing through the ball. 

I sucked! 

I topped the ball, cut the ball, pulled the ball and shanked the ball. 

I have been doing this for 54 years.  Playing golf, stinking, finding a flaw and deciding I finally had figured out how to swing correctly and expecting to score really well…then as soon as I found the secret; I sucked.

This is it though.  I am done.  “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” I have learned my lesson and will no longer subject myself to the frustration and aggravation that is known as the game of golf.  

I quit!

Except…I think maybe I was just lifting my head too early and I’m pretty sure I was bending my left arm and did not keep my weight distributed correctly.  Hmmm…I think I could make just a few adjustments and score really well.

Or

I just might be insane.