WHY

WHY

Some things in life annoy the hell out of me.  This is not such a list; it is simply a list of questions about behavior that I do not understand.

Why do women fan their eyes when they get emotional, even when they wear no eye makeup?

Why do children insist on making funny faces when you take their picture?

Why do kids yell "Marco…Polo" in swimming pools?  Why not "Caitlyn…Jenner"?

Why are guys proud of their belches and farts?

"Why do birds sing so gay?"

Why do women ask “Who’s playing” and then leave the room?

Why do people clap with their hands over their heads at concerts?

Why do young women think it is funny to stick out their tongue when you ask them to smile for the camera?

Why do politicians always tell the American people what the American people want?

"Why do lovers await the break of day?"

Why do people all stand up in airplanes as soon as the plane stops moving?

Why do people always wave at the camera when you are taking a video?

Why do women cover their mouth when they laugh or are surprised?

Why do three year olds ask "why" all the time?

"Why does the rain fall from up above?"

Why do people think bunny ears in a photo are funny?

Why do all teenagers say “You don’t understand?”

Why do men punch the air when their team scores?

Why do people rub their hands together when someone brings out a plate of food?

"Why do fools fall in love?"

Why did you just sing to yourself “Why do they fall in lo-ove?”
 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sAHiR0rkJg

WHAT DO I NEED THAT FOR?

WHAT DO I NEED THAT FOR?

Oh crap! I just became my mom.  I am now one of those old people who see the latest, newest, coolest thing and have to declare, “What do I need that for?”  This is then followed with an explanation that the current technology or method of doing something works just fine and there is no reason to change.

This is very frustrating to young people.

I remember telling my mom how great and useful microwave ovens were.

“Oh, what do I need that for?  My regular oven works just fine, and if I need to defrost something I just leave it out.  If I want to heat something up quick, I just drop it in a container and then into boiling water.”  

“Mom, you should have cable TV, you can get over 100 different channels all with crystal clear reception.”

“Oh what do I need that for? I just watch the news and my Saturday night movie...I’ll be darned if I’m going to pay for TV!  And my reception is just fine.  If it gets fuzzy I just have to move to a different chair.  Cable TV… honestly!”

When she got a little older, mom would not even believe some stuff existed.  I remember one day recording her playing with her grandchildren on a beautiful summer day.  When I went to show her the recording she would not believe it.

“Look mom, I recorded you playing with Mary Beth, just this afternoon.”

“Oh you did not!”

“Sure did, look.”

After watching for a minute, “What is that?”

“It’s you playing with Mary Beth just this afternoon.”

“Oh it is not, it’s some kind of trick…honestly!”

Sometimes my son tries to show me new technology. 

“Look dad, you could get Pandora and wirelessly have any music you choose in any room in the house.”

“Oh what do I need that for? My CD player works just fine and I can play five different CD’s and shuffle the songs.”

I think he has given up on me and the glossed over eyes I get when he tries to show me something new.

The other day while watching TV, a commercial came on for Hulu and Netflix and something Google that didn’t even need cable. To no one I heard myself say,

“Oh what do I need that for?  Cable is just fine and I already get all the shows and movies I want.  Why do I need even more choices?  Honestly!”

I read something today about a car that drives itself. I’m sure it is just some kind of trick.  "Honestly!"

HOUSE PAINTING

HOUSE PAINTING

In a recent post, I alluded to a short stint as a part time professional house painter.  Most people think house painting is easy.  Most people will attempt to save some dough and become DIY painters.  They can do an OK job, but the professionals will do it better.

I was never good at house painting.  House painting takes patience; I always want to get right to it…no reason to waste time with prep work, expensive materials or appropriate tools.  WRONG!!

Prep work is essential –

PREPARE THE SURACE- It is a waste of time to paint over  walls that are dirty, have flaking old paint and have cracks and holes.  Clean, sand and patch, or don’t bother painting.

TAPE EDGES: Unless you are a real pro, you have to tape off those edges…not me.  I keep a rag handy and just wipe down my misses (no, not my Mrs.).  This leaves paint on the rag which when hanging from my pocket hits against walls and occasionally un-covered furniture (see below) and makes a mess.  When I wipe my brow I get paint on my face, and before long the paint in the rag makes wiping errors away fruitless.

REMOVE OR COVER EVERYTHING: Amateurs using a roller create a rooster tail effect of flying paint. Newspapers are not good enough.  Paint goes on newspaper, foot goes on paper, paper rips and follows you around the house leaving a trail of paint.

Use quality materials-

PAINT: You think you save money using inexpensive paint, but the extra time and extra coats needed to cover will prove you wrong.

PAINT BRUSH: Why pay for an expensive brush for one job?  No streaking, no brush hairs on the wall, less dripping, and with correct care and maintenance the brush will be good for many, many jobs.  You also need multiple brushes, tapered for cutting in, two inch for molding and small areas and four inch for walls if you are not rolling.

LADDERS: Oh for God sake, do not reach on a ladder that is too short or even worse balance on a chair.

PAINT BUCKET- Do not paint out of the can, use a tapered paint bucket.  A paint bucket does not collect drips on the side.  Drips on the side will find their way anyplace but where you want them.  A tapered bucket also allows you to better slap excessive paint from your brush.  Excessive paint on the brush works its way to the top of the brush and squeezes out dripping the floor, your hand and everything.

BE AWARE-

KNOW WHERE THE PAINT CAN AND LID ARE AT ALL TIMES: If you do not follow this rule, you will step on the lid and track paint throughout the house, and you will trip over the can and spill mass quantities of paint all over.

USE PROPER TEQUNIQUE-

PROPER BRUSH STROKES: Use long strokes in only one back and forth direction and always keep the brush or roller loaded with paint, beyond that, I’ve got nothing.

The final hint took me several years to learn, but it might be the best advice.

HIRE A PRO: Everyone thinks they can paint, few really can.  If you can afford it, hire a pro.  Do not hire kids or part timers.  Hire someone that has been painting full time and makes a living out of it.

Is there anyone on the Earth covered by Benjamin Moore that does not have at least one story about a paint job gone bad?