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Saturday, June 20, 2015

I DON’T JUDGE


I DON’T JUDGE
 

The following is the opinion of a cranky old man with little expertise on the topic opined.  Opposing opinions are welcome but will be ignored.  As always, please, no name calling and that means you, you big stupid-head!

So this ass-hole with mental issues, Dylann Roof goes into a church and murders nine people.  There is typically a call for gun control to stop these kinds of atrocities.  There is typically a call from gun enthusiasts that gun control is a slippery slope to anarchy.

It is all bull shit.  Granted I am in favor of increased gun regulation.  It should be as difficult as possible for an ass-hole like this to ever get a gun, and if you responsible gun owners have to wait a couple of months to get you brand new pistol so what…fuck you.

However, to me, the real problem in this case was not the gun and the fact that it seems this nut job may have been given the gun by his dad (WTF) the problem is this kid’s racist mindset, and the fact that it was accepted and or condoned.  This is a quote from Dylann’s roommate when interviewed:

Dalton Tyler, Roof's roommate, told ABC News that Roof had been

 "Planning something like the shooting for six months.

He was big into segregation and other stuff," Tyler said. "He said he wanted to start a civil war. He said he was going to do something like that and then kill himself."

Tyler told The New York Times that he did not take Roof's statements seriously. 

"I was just like, 'You’re stupid,'" Mr. Tyler said. "He was a racist; but I don’t judge people."

HEY ROOMMATE…you are either a dumb shit, or as racist as Dylann!!

It is outrageous to me that this clown could have been talking about murdering people and you “DON”T JUDGE”

It is time we do judge.  Most of these lunatics leave some sign or comment either to friends or social media about their intentions.  If we see them, WE SHOULD FUCKING JUDGE!  Point it out to authorities and let them decide if the person is just talking or is a threat.

Talking about murder is a crime.  I believe it is called assault.  If you hear it, report it before it is followed by BATTERY. 

Dylann is a racist, he is a murderer and he should never see the sun again.  Let him spend the rest of his life with other menaces to society, some who may take a personal affront to Dylann’s racist disease.

While we cluck-cluck our distaste for this cretin, we need to look to ourselves.  Are we a little responsible for allowing these racist opinions to thrive?  Do you secretly dislike black people?  Do you blame all white people for your problems? Do you hate anyone who does not worship your God? Are you so involved in your own personal causes from the environment to the economy to the issue of choice that you would condone murder or even talk of murder?

Guns are an issue and they need to be addressed.  Gun regulation needs to be tightened up, but the real problem is, attitudes, and people that

“Don’t judge!”

Tyler told The New York Times that he did not take Roof's statements seriously. 

"I was just like, 'You’re stupid,'" Mr. Tyler said. "He was a racist; but I don’t judge people."

We need to start taking all hate speech and actions seriously. 

We need to judge.
 
The following was the opinion of a cranky old man, and not necessarily that of management...Mrs. Cranky.

Friday, June 19, 2015

SUPERMARKET SMACKDOWN


SUPERMARKET SMACKDOWN
 
There is something about a trip to the supermarket that almost always gets me in trouble. 

Generally it is the ladies that refuse to mind their carts.  They always find a way to block the aisle I want to use, and hemming and hawing does not get their attention. I suppose I could nicely ask them to move their cart, but I just feel as they should be aware and look out for other shoppers.  To me it is an act of aggression to block the aisle and I should not have to point it out to them.  Instead I try to sneak by and fail, rattling their cart or their backside and then mumbling an apology.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t see your cart, I guess I just didn’t expect to see a cart unattended in the middle of the aisle.”

The other activity that gets my blood boiling is the coupon ladies.  Why do I always get in the checkout lane behind a coupon lady?  They pull out a fist full of coupons and then proceed to argue over half of them.

“Expired?  Are you sure?”

“If it is good for the 24 oz bottle it should be good for the 12 oz. also.”

“Please call the manager; it should be interchangeable between brands.”

Today I ran into a new battle at the 15 item or less line.  Oh I’ve had some battles here as well.  I always count the number of items the person ahead of me is purchasing.  If there are 16 items it pisses me off, though I seldom say anything.  I might mumble or cough “sixahemteen.” And I don’t count three identical items as one, that is bull shit.  Three items is three items.

Anyway, today I encountered a new 15 item or less battle.

At my Shop-Rite there are two 15 item or less lanes.  The lanes are not separated into distinct lanes, and it is easy to jump from cashier to cashier.  Now to me, you should choose a line to a specific cashier.  If one line happens to move faster than another and you pick the wrong line…too bad.

Apparently the tradition at this market is to form one line and then move to whichever cashier finishes with a customer, much like the snake line at a bank. 

Today I am was line with three items, eggs, bacon and yogurt.  In front of me was an old bald dude with a strange accent and behind him is a dude with neck to ankle tattoos, a Duck Dynasty beard, spaghetti arms and one of those size 32 inch waists that still has the beer belly bulge.
Tattoo Dude was arguing with Foreign Man because he wanted Foreign Man to choose a lane.  Foreign Man was trying to explain the lane protocol, and Tattoo Dude was having none of it.

The argument started to get heated and Tattoo Man turned to me for support.

“He gotta pick a line right?”

“Well I’ve been here before and that is how they usually do it; personally I don’t give a damn.”
Tattoo Man is now pissed off at me.

“Are you kidding me, you siding with this fool?  Are you an idiot too?”

I might have changed my tune and agreed with Tattoo Man, but his spaghetti arms and pot belly told me his bluster had no backing.
“You know what, it’s like I said I really don’t give a crap, but I gotta tell you, if I was looking to get into a friggin fight today I would have gone to a biker bar, not a sissy-ass Shop-Rite.”

At this point, a cashier freed up, and Foreign Man moved up to check out.  Tattoo Dude moved behind the person at the other cashier and I fell in behind Foreign Man.
Tattoo Dude turned his attention to Foreign Man and mumbled a lot of smack; Foreign Man stood his ground and answered back with what sounded like gibberish.

I couldn’t help myself as the potential altercation seemed to be averted and I pointed out to Tattoo Dude,
“By the way your three cans of tuna count don’t count as one; you’re in line with sixteen items.”

Hey, you can’t be a wimp and at Shop-Rite.

Thursday, June 18, 2015

MRS. CRANKY JEOPARDY


MRS. CRANKY JEOPARDY
Apologies for possible plagiarism from a SNL skit
 
I am a big fan of the TV quiz show “Jeopardy.”  I even kinda like the host Alex Trebek.  He is annoying but entertaining in a train wreck sort of way.

Neither Mrs. C nor I is very good at answering the questions on this show (technically responding with questions to the answers…) but we still enjoy it.  Every once in a while there is a category that we can answer.  Mrs. C made the point that if she was on the show and was lucky enough to get the right categories, she could easily become champion.

She is right as usual.  If only she could get on a show with the right categories.

Alex Trebek: “OK folks, welcome to “Mrs. Cranky Jeopardy” the game where we give the answers and you ask the questions.  These are today’s categories”

Movie dialog“That will be obscure dialog from any movie ever made.”

Name That Commercial“There will be a two second blurb from a commercial, you will need to name the product.”

Where are they now – “Here we name anyone from your grade school and you tell us where they are now.”

What were you wearing when“We will name a date and you have to know what you were wearing on that day.”

Where is it in New Jersey “We name a starting point and a destination and you need to give the correction directions.”

What car did they drive – We name one of your relatives and a year, and you tell us the model and make car they drove.”

“Our reigning champion Mrs. Cranky will start it off.”

“’Where is it in New Jersey’ for 2000 Alex”

“Franks Pizzeria in Old Bridge from New Brunswick”

EEEEH

“Mrs. Cranky.”

“What is rt. 18 south to Gordon Road and turn left on Bank Street it is two building on the left next to a Shell station.”

"Oh, I'm sorry the station is an Exxon...wait, the judges say it used to be Exxon but is now a Shell station."

DING

“You are correct, next category.”

“’What were you wearing when’ for 500 Alex.”

“Nixon resigned.”

EEEH

“Mrs. Cranky”

“What was my Sesame Street footie PJ’s?”

DING

“That is correct, next category.”

“’Movie dialog’ for 2000 Alex.”

“I-denticle!”

EEEH

“Mrs. Cranky”

“What is the prosecuting lawyer in ‘My Cousin Vinny’”

“That is correct, next category.”

“’Name that commercial’ for 600 Alex.”

Ding Ding Ding

“You hit the Daily Double, how much do you want to risk?”

“Let’s make it a true Daily Double Alex.”

“OK, for $4500, 'Who are you…'”

 “What is ‘Who are you talking to?’ The Allstate Commercial!”

DING

Contestant #2 leaves her podium.

“Excuse me, Sally the MIT professor, where are you going?”

“This is ridiculous!  How does anyone know these questions.  I’m outta here.”

Contestant #3 also walks off.

“Me too!”

“Wait Charles the brain surgeon, you can’t just walk out.”

“Try and stop us!”

“Well I guess that is it, Mrs. Cranky you remain the champion of “Mrs. Cranky Jeopardy! Tune in tomorrow folks when we add a new category,"

Why is your husband a jerk? - "We give you a situation and you explain why your husband is a jerk." 

"GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!"

Do dee do do dee do dee da DUMP ta DUMP DUMP DUMP tee Da

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