STUPID HEADLINE 041915

STUPID HEADLINE 041915

It’s time again for

I think I'd look for a second opinion!

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.

One headline may be fake.  Guess the fake and win a mention and a WHOOP-TEE-DOO.  None of the above may be a correct answer.

Comment moderation is on for one day.

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Chris Christie plots his comeback – He left going over the George Washington Bridge, I suspect he will return via the Tappan Zee. 

Futuristic bed locks the door, brews coffee – Yeah, but can it make itself?

Pentagon Deploys ‘May I Kiss You?’ Training – This is particularly effective against our enemies in homophobic countries.

Send your texts 25 years into the future – Dude, where are you?  It’s been like 25 years!

Texas man arrested for ATM “bank robbery.” He slipped a note in the card reader that said “I have a crowbar, spit out all you money and no one gets hurt!”

Brontosaurus may make a comeback – PETA has finally gone too far!

Judge rules woman who recorded ex-Clippers owner Sterling's racist rant owes his wife $2.6M – Well that is convenient, and I’m sure the Judge’s wife appreciates it very much.

Hillary Clinton has a new position on same-sex marriage – It involves beach balls, a water pistol, clothes pins and very strong ankles, but that is all she is saying.

Man volunteers for world's first head transplant – I think he may not understand that this is getting a new head, not getting head.

Solar-powered plane on round-the-world flight gets stuck in China – If they’re waiting for the sun to shine through the smog, it may take a while.

Man Shoots Armadillo, Bullet Hits Mother-In-Law – New Jersey police think he may be lying.

Woman Stabs Husband Over Bathroom Stink – A felony for a smell of me. 

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Last week’s fake was:

Deer crashes through McDonalds Window – It left when it realized everything on the dollar menu cost a buck.

And the winners:

messymimi

Today my guess is the deer going through the window of a McDonalds. Unfortunately, the others sound real.

Great, I finally fool both fishducky and Sandee and mimi is on a streak! Visit mimi @ http://messymimismeanderings.blogspot.com/ a little of everything, plus information on birthdays and special designations for each calendar day.

 Shelly - Tropical Mum

It's the McDonald's Deer story for sure! :)

If I said koala bear I might have fooled this sharp Aussie from Canada! Travel the world with Shelly @ http://www.tropicalmum.com/ good stuff eh.

Seventeen wrong guesses, a new record!

Congratulate the winners, and come back next week for more

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

The World's Most Expensive Things

The World's Most Expensive Things

a cranky opinion for

CRANKY OPINION SATURDAY

The following is the opinion of a cranky old man with limited knowledge on the subject opined.  Opposing opinions are welcome, but are wrong.  Please. As always, no name calling, and that means you, you big stupid head!

I received an interesting email today from my good friend and ancient fraternity brother Marty.  It is a list of as the title would imply “The World’s Most Expensive Things.”

Some of the things on the list are interesting and many may even be understandable. 

The International Space Station is the most expensive object ever made by man. Cost: $150 billion

 

This seems like a lot of money, but great inventions and discoveries have always come from exploration, and man’s curiosity should not be stifled by money.

The most expensive book in the world is the Codex Leicester of Leonardo da Vinci, a book of scientific writings. Price: $30.8 million

 

An awful lot of money, but how do you put a price on history and genius?

The most expensive watch in the world is the A. Lange Sohne Grand Complication. This immensely precise and complicated (876 hand wrought parts, 7 complications and 14 functions) watch can only be made by one man, and it takes him a whole year to make one. Price: $2.5 million dollars.

 

Crazy? Well that is a lot of money to just know what time it is, but this is clearly also art and craftsmanship.  How do you put a value on art?

The most expensive private jet in the world is the Airbus 318 Elite. Price: $ 62 million (gas money extra).

 

I’m having trouble rationalizing this one, but if you have the dough, are really important, and need the security and luxury because your time and comfort are so valuable then maybe…like if you are President of the United States, or CEO of a major corporation, or a really good golfer.

The most expensive computer in the world is the Milky Way 28243 Supercomputer in Guangzho, China. It would cost $400 million to recreate

 

I guess this could be rationalized as expanding science and man’s knowledge, but if they just waited six months it could probably be bought for $500 and be worn on your wrist.

The most expensive viola in the world, the Stradivarius MacDonald Viola, made in 1719 and one of only 10 surviving violas made by the famous master, Luthier. Recently sold for $45 million.

 

History…art…I guess, but we are starting to get silly here.

The most expensive photograph ever sold was this deceptively plain photo of the Rhein II, created by German artist Andreas Gursky. Price: $4.3 million.

Ummm…please don’t tell the person who bought this that the Emperor is naked.

The most expensive champagne in the world is the Gout de Diamants Champagne. Price: $ 1.2 million. However, it is not merely the liquid that makes it so expensive: the bottle itself has an 18 carat white gold plate with a 19 carat diamond mounted on it.

                                                                       

 

The most expensive mushroom in the world, an Italian White Alba truffle. Price: $160,406  (for 1.51 kg)

 

The most expensive Cognac in the world is  Henry IV Dudognon Heritage Cognac Grande Champagne. Price: $2 million (ie approximately $50,000 per sip).

 

The most expensive beer in the world is the Antarctic Nail Ale. Price: $1,815 per bottle

 

Well now we have just “jumped the shark.” These items simply scream “I am rich and stupid.”  They make a statement.  The statement is I am able to flush money down the toilet for no other reason than to impress you with how stupid wealthy I am.

Now I do not believe in socialism.  If you earn a lot of money you should be able to do with it what you want (after taxes and stuff), but you should know that most people will judge you on how you choose to use that wealth.

It might be nice to invest some money in someone’s idea, someone who might be able to make the world a better place if given a little financial help.  If the idea fails, what have we lost…a fucking truffle?

It might be nice to send some disadvantaged kids to college.  So maybe you have to step down a notch in your champagne; I’ll bet Cristal will taste just fine, and it will still get you laid. 

How about skipping a few sips of that cognac and build a couple of homeless shelters instead.

And maybe, just maybe you could stoop to a Miller High Life to quench your thirst and also feed a bunch of people that are really hungry instead of cracking open an eighteen hundred dollar bottle of beer.

Hey, it’s your money, use it how you want, but the only people you are impressing are assholes, and that does not put you in exclusive company.

The preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man, and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky.



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MRS. CRANKY'S SHOPPING LIST

MRS. CRANKY'S SHOPPING LIST CONTEST

 

 

It has been a while since I have challenged my readers to interpret a Mrs. Cranky shopping list.  For anyone new to this exercise, Mrs. Cranky does not have very good handwriting.  In addition, she uses a weird kind of shorthand and weird descriptions of items on her list.  The result is that I can never figure out more than 50% of her shopping lists.  Often Mrs. Cranky has trouble remembering what she wrote on her list.

 

 

Without further ado, here is a recent Mrs. Cranky shopping list.  The person who correctly identifies the most items on the list wins a mention and a large WHOOP-TEE-DOO. 

 

The close friend or relative who correctly identifies the most items wins a dinner at a nice restaurant.  (Peter and Nicole are still owed a dinner...probably can collect this summer at the shore.)

 

 

 

Partial credit will be awarded in some cases.

 

 

Serious entries will not be displayed for one day.