STUPID HEADLINES 092114

STUPID HEADLINES 092114

It is time once again for

Oh no they di'int! (apologies to Gossip_Girl)

 STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

One headline may be completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-doo. 'None of the above' may be a correct answer.

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Kanye West halts Sydney concert after two fans refuse to stand up - doesn't realize one is in a wheelchair and the other is disabled – Kanye is putting the “Dis” in Disabled!

Miss America Kira Kazantsev's Planned Parenthood past draws criticism - When did Miss America get a vote in the Supreme Court?

Governor Jerry Brown makes use of the words Husband and Wife Illegal in California – The new acceptable terms are now “Douchbag” and “The Old Ball and Chain.”

Buzz Aldrin, “Moon Landing Real, I Have Green Cheese to prove it” – I think I know who is sending those Nigerian Prince e-mails.

Police reel in two Alabama men for cheating in fishing tournament – Alabama police do not practice catch and release.

Oregon resident builds golf ball roller coaster – Every time I play golf it is like a roller coaster ride.

Iran's 'Happy' dancers sentenced to 91 lashes, jail –

Because they’re backward

Dance in Iran if you feel like lashes upon your back

Because they’re backward

Dance in Iran and you will feel Ayatollah blow his stack

Because they’re backward

Dance in Iran and you should know that happiness is taboo

Because they’re backward

Dance in Iran and expect that you will be beaten black and blue

Federal court upholds U.S. flag ban on Cinco de Mayo – Also decreed that Barak Obama be called “El Presidante” on May fifth.

'Sex Box,' a Reality TV Show Where Couples Have Sex in a Box and Discuss It, Is Coming to America – I for one am looking forward to not watching this garbage…probably…maybe…what channel is PBS?

Kanye Scores 106 Points Against Wheelchair Basketball Team* –

Oh that Kanye!

Bias Bash: Liberal press say Biden gaffes make him 'real' – Real stupid!

*real headline, questionable source.

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Last week’s fake headline was:

Aquarium Bull Shark injures self on glass trying to attack a spectator – Maybe it was the Sealtest ice-cream cone he was holding.

AND THE WINNERS ARE:

Only one, Joanne recused herself for Googling, and I think Fishducky got it but withheld an actual guess due to her Headline Hall of Fame status.  

Sandee

I'm going with 'Aquarium Bull Shark injures self on glass trying to attack a spectator.'

Have a fabulous day Cranky. My best to Mrs. Cranky.

Sandee waited until all guesses were in so as not to influence others.  She is close to induction to the HHofF!

As always visit Sandee @ http://comedyplus.blogspot.com/ for comedy and fun.

COME BACK NEXT WEEK FOR MORE

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

A SPECIAL ATHLETE

A SPECIAL ATHLETE

 

A Cranky Opinion for

CRANKY OPINION SATURDAY

 

The following is the opinion of a cranky old man with some expertice on the subject opined.  Opposing opinions will be considered rediculous and unreasonable and will be ignored by that same cranky old man.

 

Steroids, domestic abuse, child abuse, drugs, cheating, there is lots of bad stuff in the news about athletes today.  The news is full of stories which just make you want to beat up on professional sports in general and directly on professional athletes.

I would like to direct your attention to one professional athlete who is retiring from his sport after twenty seasons.  This baseball player has never been accused of taking performance enhancing drugs or even recreational drugs.  He has never been in a fight, disrespected a fan, or had a bad word for anyone.  There have been no arrests for drinking or peeing on a wall, no accusations of theft or vandalism.  He has not been pulled over for reckless driving, speeding or even given a parking ticket.

This athlete has played on five world championship teams and been on fourteen all-star teams.  I have never seen a negative story about him in the paper; he has never been thrown out of a game for arguing or suspended from playing for any reason.  He has never complained about being substituted out of a game, or batting in an order he didn’t like.  He has put his team first for twenty years. 

This player is pure class.  So while it seems that all professional athletes are taking a beating for the actions of a few, I want to take my hat off to one athlete who has the admiration and the respect of all the players on his team and of all the opposition players.  I want to salute one athlete who has the respect and admiration of every fan who has followed his career or ever seen him play. 

For twenty years this man has played the game of baseball and given it 100%.  He has never quit, he has never blamed a loss on another player, and he has never turned down an interview or denied a fan a reasonable request.

Twenty years in the public eye, and never a negative report, a negative comment, a negative news article…twenty years on the most famous sports team in the most famous city in the country.  Twenty years under the microscope and his career and life off the field is as clean as a whistle. 

The Yankee Captain has been a great player, a Hall-of-Fame player, a winner, a gentleman.  While we beat up on Ray Rice for beating up his wife, while we whip Adrian Peterson for whipping his four year old, and we are disgusted by whomever else is the athletic felon of the day, do not lump all athletes into the same boat.

Some athletes are like the Yankee shortstop, and Captain.  There are athletes that are pure class, athletes that are positive role models, athletes that do the right thing.

There is Derek Jeter!

 

Thanks for 20 years of class!



 

The preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man and not necessarily that of management (who knows nothing of the subject) Mrs. Cranky.  

SUPERSTORM SANDY!

I had to share this.

A friend's Mom and Dad lost their beautiful home in superstorm Sandy.  Two years later the home was rebuilt and their family and friends celebrated in the newly reconstructed home.

When she left this is what my friend put under the front stairs.

When bad stuff happens, it helps to have a sence of humor!