YOU SAY HELLO, I SAY
GOODBYE
Look, I am
just not fond of talking on the telephone.
I love to text, when used properly: “B thr in 5” or “OK” or “Can’t do
it…thx” and so on; is great. I like anything
to convey a message without having to go through massive chit-chat. I hate chit-chat.
Chit-chat is
just passing time. Chit-chat on the
phone is just some peoples thumb-twiddling.
I don’t mind actual thumb-twiddling because it doesn’t take up my time.
Women are
particularly guilty of this verbal thumb-twiddling. If they are in the car “doing nothing” they
call someone and twiddle thumbs together.
To me, driving a car is not doing “nothing,” I do not answer the phone
when I am driving. Some men are also
guilty of telephone thumb-twiddling. I
just tell them, “Dude, you are like a woman on the phone.” Apparently that is politically incorrect.
RT – It is now apparently incorrect to
tell someone they “throw like a girl.” I
understand that, but it is so much easier than saying, “You step with the wrong
foot and lead with your arm not your body and couldn’t hit he broadside of a
barn”…I’m just sayin.
One reason
Mrs. C and I are compatible is she shares this aversion to long telephone
chatting about nothing. Our
conversations generally go like this:
“I’m leaving work now.”
“Ok, see ya soon.”
Or
“Don’t forget to take out the
garbage.”
“Ok, see ya soon.”
Or
“You’re a jerk!”
“Ok, see ya soon.”
Mrs. Cranky
does have trouble getting rid of telephone thumb- twiddlers though. She is way too nice. Some people call her to just vent their own
uninteresting shit, and she does not know how to end the blather.
I suggest
she use the old “My attery is unning ow” excuse. She just can’t do it. I suggest she claim she is late for an
appointment. She can’t do it. Mrs. Cranky sometimes gets calls late at
night and still she listens.
Her biggest
flaw is she responds every so often in the middle of the twiddling with an “Oh WOW!” I tell her the “Oh WOW!” may be polite, but
it is telling the caller, “Damn this is interesting.” Instead she should resort to and occasional
“Uh huh” followed by “What was that? I got distracted by my falling eyelids.”
She can’t do
it, she is too nice.
I screen all
my calls. I have to as I keep getting
chased down by a bill collector trying to collect on a utility bill that my ex-wife ran up after I was thrown out of my house.
If I don’t know a number I don't answer. If it is so important, they can leave a message.
Mrs. Cranky
answers every call. She thinks it is
rude to not answer the phone.
She says
hello.
I say good bye.
