THE THROW-UP BOWL - a cranky re-run

THE THROW-UP BOWL

 You never know what post people will find interesting.  This post from November 2012 garnered lots of comments and apparently many not so fond yet humorous memories.  Strange how vomit can be funny when remembered many years later.

Do all families have a “throw-up bowl,” or is it just mine?  When I was a kid ours was a large yellow bowl.  I never thought about it growing up, but how did this bowl become the throw-up bowl?

I’m pretty sure my parents did not get it as a wedding present. 

“What is this?  Oh wait, I know, it’s a throw-up bowl.”

“Oooh! Pretty!”

No, no one registers for a throw-up bowl at Fortunoffs.  Bowls are not marketed and sold as “throw-up bowls.” 

The throw-up bowl could have been used as a mixing bowl, but no, it had one use and one use only.  It was located in the front of a cabinet where the shortest family member could reach it when needed.  With three growing boys it was used in my family a lot.

“Mom, I don’t feel so good.”

“Does your tummy hurt?”

“Yes.”

“JIM, CHRIS, get the throw-up bowl…QUICK!”

No one ever asked, “Which bowl mom?” or “Where is it?” Everyone knew what it was and where to find the throw-up bowl. 

Twice a year we had throw-up bowl drills. 

Years later, married and with my first child I realized how the throw-up bowl was chosen.  My daughter was two and feeling sick.

“Is it your tummy honey?”

“Yes.”

“Hold on, I’ll be right back.” 

I raced downstairs to the kitchen, grabbed the first bowl I could find, a big yellow mixing bowl, and raced upstairs.

The wife wanted to know, “Where are you going with that bowl.”

“Just a minute, Mary Beth is sick.”

“Wait, that’s my best mixing bowl!”

“ARRRGAH, ARRgah, Arg.”

“Not my mixing bowl, that’s my best bowl!”

“AARRGAH, AARRG, Arg, arg, ar.”

“Well...it’s the throw-up bowl now.”

We bought a new mixing bowl, but it never got as much use as that big yellow throw-up bowl.

After my first divorce I somehow got custody of the big yellow bowl.  My children were basically grown and out of the throw-up stage, but I still kept that bowl where it was easily reached.

Mrs. Wife #2 made terrific Irish soda bread.  On our first St. Paddy’s Day she made a batch.  I cut a slice, slathered it with butter, and was about to take a bite when I noticed the yellow bowl in the sink.

“I can’t eat this.”

“Why not, it’s good.”

“You made it in the throw-up bowl!”

“EEEWWWW!”

We discarded that batch of soda bread. 

We put the yellow bowl away, never to be used again…until we had Spencer.

Does every family with children have a throw-up bowl?  Are they always yellow?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?

 

 

I am, by nature, a skeptic.  I once saw a circus elephant disappear in a puff of smoke right before my eyes.  Magic right?  But I know it was a trick.  I don’t know how, but it was a trick, an illusion, a good one, but not real, not magic.  I don’t believe in magic.  Well I didn’t, until recently.

In our kitchen we have a sugar bowl, a coffee can, a rack for Krups coffee cups, a container of coffee creamer, and a shaker of cinnamon.  I am the only one in the house that drinks coffee.  Mrs. C does not use sugar, creamer or cinnamon.  I have coffee every day.  I have creamer and sugar with my coffee.  I often have oatmeal in the morning and I use cinnamon in my oatmeal.

Whenever the sugar bowl gets low, I make a mental note to refill it tomorrow.  When the coffee can is scraping bottom or we are low on Krups coffee cups, I plan to refill and restock tomorrow.  If I have just enough coffee creamer for my morning addiction, I try to remember to refill the container…tomorrow.  Today I used all of the remaining cinnamon for my oatmeal.  I will have to refill it tomorrow.

Except.

In my house tomorrow never comes.  Every morning the sugar bowl has either just enough for my morning cup, or it is full to the brim.  The coffee can always has enough coffee to meet my needs, the Krups rack never goes empty and the creamer never completely runs out. 

It can’t be Mrs. C refilling all these items, she never uses them.  How would she know they were running short?  No way.  It is obviously magic.  We have a magic kitchen. 

Tomorrow I plan on having oatmeal for breakfast.  Am I concerned that we are out of cinnamon?  I should be, but somehow that shaker will be full. 

How?

Magic!

STUPID HEADLINES 111713

STUPID HEADLINES 111713

It is time once again for:

Clearly this should have read Dear
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

 

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

One headline is completely made up.  Guess the fake and win a mention.

_________________________

 

White Republican wins Houston election with campaign that implied he's black – “Yo yo yo…I never say I be black.”

Factory fire causes nationwide knish shortage – Oh  kno! I have  knothing  to knosh on without a knish!

Spanish pianist faces possible jail time for practicing at home – How do you get to Leavenworth? Practice,  practice,  practice.

Boston bombing suspect wants to lift prison restrictions – Yeah well, we kinda WANTED him to NOT BLOW PEOPLE UP!

Church leaders in Detroit push 'Thou shalt not kill' message – Moving up from number six, and now right behind “No Gods before me” is “Thou shalt not kill!”

Secrets Behind Victoria’s $10 Million Fantasy Bra – Silicon!

Three year old daredevil jumps 27 Tinker Toys with a tricycle – “Tot Tops Toys on Trike!”

Bill Maher tells Boston: 'Your city was not leveled by Godzilla' – Comedian points out to the world that there have been bigger tragedies than the Boston Marathon bombing.  Thank you Bill; and your point is?

U.S. Oil Prices Hit Five-Month Low as Supplies Swell – Congress calls for an investigation into price un-gouging.

Iran's culture minister defends Facebook, says it's not a 'criminal application' – “Chopping off heads of infidels”…like us on Facebook!

Sweden orders fire alarms in hotel made of ice – FIRE!! Quick, throw some building on the building!

 

 

________________________________

Prehistoric bones discovered in cavern

Last week’s fake headline was:

 

Irradiated corn plants produce self-popping corn – They could make quite a mess if not harvested in time.

 

AND THE WINNERS ARE:

           TexWisGirl   @ http://run-a-roundranch.blogspot.com/ said...

i'm going for microwaved popcorn this week.

 

            Val   @ http://unbaggingthecats.blogspot.com/  said...

Give me the fake self-popping corn. I'll be standing at the edge of the field with self-churning cows, selling butter to the on-lookers.

            Pixel Peeper   @ http://my-couch-corner.blogspot.com/ said...

My bet is on the irradiated self-popping corn. This (if true) could create quite a ruckus if it happened at night!

            lime   @ http://houseoflime.blogspot.com/ said...

           i think it has to be the self-popping corn
               
             Check out these fine blogs and congratulate them.
         
                                                                                                                                                                                                                   There is no Fishducky award this week for lack of funny comments.  It seems everyone was too annoyed with the Tom Cruise comment about acting being harder than soldiering in Afghanistan.    

 

In Cruise's defense I think his quote was taken out of context and there may have been a sarcastic eye roll not reported.  He’s still an ass but…