J.P. MORGAN – Why the Death Penalty Doesn’t Work

J.P. MORGAN – Why the Death Penalty Doesn’t Work

 

A Cranky Opinion for

CRANKY OPINION SATURDAY

The following is the opinion of a cranky old man.  Opposing opinions are welcome, wrong, but welcome, and please, no name calling…that means you, you big stupid head.

This cranky opinion may be a bit boring, deal with it, you should see some of the crap I read!

 

J.P. Morgan was just fined 920 million dollars for inadequate controls in their trading operations.  These inadequate controls led to a 6 Billion dollar loss from bad trades.

What are bad trades?

What does this have to do with the death penalty?

Bad trades are transactions that lose money for a brokerage firm or bank.  Good trades result in profits for the firm and a bonus for the trader.  Bad trades result in the firm losing money and the trader losing his job and his reputation.

Firing a trader for a bad trade is a career death penalty. 

Time and time again, every year, at every firm, there is a trader who makes a bad trade which jeopardizes his job.  Does he own up to the mistake and cut his and the firm’s losses?  Sometimes, but he pays a steep penalty.  Often, with nothing to lose personally, he doubles up on the trade (double or nothing) hoping the market turns around and he can hide his bad trade, keep his job and still earn a ridiculously huge bonus.

When doubling up doesn’t work, he will cover up, hide, and lie.  If his supervisor does not catch the losing position, he also faces the career death penalty and he will then aid in the cover up.  Delay owning up to the mistake long enough and maybe the market will turn around and they will save their jobs. 

Often that is exactly what happens and both the trader and his supervisor breathe a sigh of relief while they also feed their ego that they are geniuses and invulnerable.

Often the market does not turn around and the loss gets bigger and bigger.  Sometimes the loss gets so big it will put a firm out of business.  That is what almost pulled J.P. Morgan under. 

What does this say about the death penalty?  When someone has everything to lose, he will continue his ways with the hope of saving his skin.  Anything goes when the result of owning up to a mistake and giving yourself up is DEATH.

Outside of Wall Street, does the death penalty stop murderers?  Does anyone think, “Gee I better not bring a gun, if I kill someone will I get the death penalty?” Maybe…on a rare occasion, but what if one commits the capital crime?  Will he give himself up or will he fight to the death to get away, killing others in the process?

Wall Street needs to end the trader “Death Penalty.”  Bonuses should not encourage risky trading; instant termination should not encourage cover-ups.   If a trader makes a fortune on a trade, analyze it.  If he took a huge risk and got lucky, maybe he should not be rewarded.  If a trade goes wrong, maybe he should not take the maximum penalty.  Perhaps a fine or extra supervision would correct the behavior while eliminating massive losses taken in desperation to avoid the “Death Penalty.”

I know, a boring topic, but one which was once a part of my life.

 

The preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky.

I’M A SQUIRREL WATCHER

I’M A SQUIRREL WATCHER

Watching squirrels go by; oh my, my-my*

 

Squirrels; to most people these are despicable rodents with big fluffy tails.  To backyard bird watchers they are a menace.  These crafty acrobats find a way into bird feeders and will not leave until the feed is all gone.  Except for what falls to the ground, the birds get nothing.

My mom was a backyard bird watcher.  She waged a battle with the local squirrels for years.  I learned to just enjoy the show and become a squirrel watcher.

Squirrels can climb the slimmest poles, crawl along any wire, hang from any branch, and avoid any impediment designed to keep them off the feeder. 

I have watched mocking birds and blue jays torture cats by dive bombing them into submission to protect a nest or in the case of mocking birds just for sport.  These birds could not make a squirrel even flinch.  They are acrobats, they are smart, and they are brave. 

They do make mistakes.

Watching these creatures can sometimes be comical.  A squirrel will leap from tree limb to tree limb with incredible dexterity. 

Most of the time. 

I once saw a squirrel which apparently must have passed tree jumping with a low “c” average as it missed its intended limb and tumbled fifteen feet to the ground onto its back.  I thought it was dead, but after about ten seconds this fuzz ball rolled to its belly, slowly stood on its hind legs and looked left and right.

“Fall, I didn’t fall, just a big jump that’s all.  Anyone see that? Nobody?”

The squirrel shook off his cob webs and his embarrassment and climbed back up the tree as if nothing ever happened.  They are tough little buggers.

Several months later, a large limb from a tree in my back yard came down in a storm.  This limb had served as a major squirrel highway from one tree to another for years.  The day after it came down, I watched squirrel after squirrel race up the tree and out on the limb only to screech to a halt when they found the highway had disappeared.  They looked confused and bewildered each time.  Some actually ran down, up and out again just to confirm their arboreal roadway was missing. 

A detour was quickly established.

One winter we had a very long cold snap.  I found a squirrel hanging by one hand on a cable line into the house.  He was exhausted and unable to move along the ice encrusted wire.  I looked for someway to help him down when he just fell ten feet to the hard ground.  He appeared to be frozen and dead.  I had to move him from the yard or my Labrador would experiment with him.  When I shoveled him into a box,  I could tell he was breathing, not dead, but well on his way.  I put him in the lot behind my house and covered him with leaves so a cat or another predator would not find him.

One hour later I went out to check on the squirrel.  He was gone without any sign of “fowl” play.  The little bugger recovered.  They are tough indeed.

We have hawks in our area.  I love watching the hawks.  They need to eat to survive.  Top on the hawks menu is squirrel.  Sometimes I see this battle for survival; the hawk to eat, the squirrel to live another day.  The hawk will stalk and swoop at the squirrel, and the squirrel will scamper around a tree to escape. 

I love watching the hawks.

I always root for the squirrels.

 

*Sorry, could not resist.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raJWuz7qQVc       

Women's Mind Game

Women's Mind Game

 

OK ladies, just admit it…you get bored so you just like to mess with our heads.

When I need something, getting information on the location of said needed object from Mrs. Cranky is like pulling teeth.

“Hey Kare, do you know where the hammer is?”

“Yes.”

“Where?”

“Downstairs.”

“Downstairs in the basement?”

“No downstairs is downstairs, the basement is the basement.”

“Where downstairs?”

“By the table.”

“The table in the living room or the table in the family room?”

“Oh for crap sake, I’ll get it.”

All right I get it, I’m an idiot, I can’t find anything...but a woman’s instructions…damn!

The other morning I go down stairs for coffee.

“You want me to bring anything up?”

“Just a small Jet’s glass of orange juice.”

We have two glasses that Mrs. Cranky got from the gas station back in the day when stations had to compete to sell gas (GIYP.)  They have the NY Jets logo etched in them.  They are small glasses.

What is a small Jet’s glass of orange juice?

Is it orange juice from a small Jet’s glass, or a small glass of orange juice in a Jet’s glass?

Since the Jet’s glasses are small, I deduce there is no need to describe the only two Jet’s glasses in the house; therefore Mrs. Cranky must want only a little orange juice in a Jet’s glass.

WRONG!

“Here is your juice Kare.”

“Why did you only get me half a glass?”

“You said ‘a small glass of juice’.”

“No, I said orange juice in a small Jet’s glass.”

“But the Jet’s glasses are small; why not just ask for orange juice in a Jet’s glass?”

“You’re a jerk!”

 

I think she does it on purpose.