YOUR BABY IS A SOCIOPATH

YOUR BABY IS A SOCIOPATH

(A GRANDPA JOE OBSERVATION)

There is a common misconception that a child is born innocent, sweet and pure.  A spoiled child, an evil adolescent or a sociopath adult is the result of bad parenting.  Parents spoiled the child or taught him to be demanding and unsocial.  A grownup who is mean, evil, and has no regard for others was taught to be that way by poor parenting.

It is true that a sociopath may be the result of poor parenting, but it is not true that poor parenting creates the sociopath.  Poor parenting fails to reform the sociopath.  The truth is that children from the time they are conceived are spoiled sociopaths.  Children have one driving instinct.  They have the instinct to survive.  They do not care who they hurt or what they break, they will do whatever it takes to eat, sleep and be taken care of.  They “love you” only because they need you.    

Mommy needs sleep?  I don’t care, “FEED ME!”  I broke that pretty glass thingy that mommy does not seem to want me to touch?  I don’t care, “FEED ME!”  I pooped my pants, “I don’t care.”  Something in my pants is uncomfortable, “I care, CHANGE ME!  “FEED ME, CUDDLE ME, PUT ME TO BED! ME, ME, ME, ME!” Your baby is a sociopath.  He was born a sociopath.  He cares not for others, he just wants!

Parents are not handed a lump of clay to mold into a loving caring human being.  They are handed a spoiled sociopath that they need to reduce to a lump of clay, and then rebuild into a loving caring human being while at the same time tending to his needs. 

This is a most difficult balancing act.  You must feed, clean and entertain.  You must respond to cries and whines, and at the same time be in control and be the boss.  You must put his needs above all others, be the provider and the protector and at the same time teach him to respect and care for others.  You must give him whatever he needs to survive.  You need to be ever diligent to jump up and protect him from the dangers of falling chairs and un-swallow-able interesting things.  You need to do all these things and yet somehow teach him that he will not always be the center of all creatures’ attention.

This is a most difficult assignment and the source of much parental frustration.  It is particularly frustrating if you think you are ruining a perfect human being.  It is important to realize you were handed a spoiled sociopath.  It is ok to not love everything about this sociopath. 

It is up to you to un-spoil and socialize this little creature before he is set loose on society.    

TODDLER TALK

TODDLER TALK

The answer to last week’s Toddler Talk quiz is –

“Babajuk” = Garbage Truck

The winners of last week’s quiz are:

Lou from “Waiting to Emigrate” http://waitingtoemigrate.blogspot.com/

And

Michael Ann from “Thinking in My Head” http://thinkinginmyheadma.blogspot.com/

Matt from “Coles Father” also had the correct answer, but he has been ruled ineligible.

Both winners have been awarded a “WhoopTeeDoo!”

Last week’s quiz may have been too easy given the post made mention of Randy, the Garbage Truck driver.

This week’s Toddler Talk quiz is from my oldest son Mike (now 37)

“Meeshkin Mushkin”

Used in a toddler sentence, “I wa a MEESHKIN MUSHKIN pees.”

Moms should have no trouble with this one, any Dads care to try? 

THE WANNABE PRINCESS

THE WANNABE PRINCESS

I call my daughter the Wannabe Princess as if it weren’t for three children under eight years old and a limited budget, she could easily fit the bill.  As it is she is forced to maintain a fabulous home, raise three great children, learn classical piano, train for a marathon race, and work on being a gourmet cook.  Being a princess takes a backseat for now.

Recently the Wannabe Princess has had to learn some new very un-princess-like skills.  Due to an unfortunate turn of events the WP has had to maintain a rather large yard on her own.  This maintenance involves three power tools.  She has had to learn to operate a John Deere tractor/mower, a walking mower, and a gas powered trimmer.  I was never a very good father in preparing my children for do-it-yourself skills, so the WP is learning on the fly.

The first obstacle she faced was filling the mower with gas.  Faced with two choices on where to add the gas, she proved the 50/50/90 rule.  The 50/50/90 rule states that if you have a choice where there is a 50% chance of making the right pick you will be wrong 90% of the time.  The gas could either go in the gas tank, or the oil chamber. 

I received a panicked call from North Carolina to my New Jersey home, “I put gas in the oil thingy what do I do?”  I assured her that it could be easily flushed but she should probably have a lawn mower specialist do it for her.  I then gently reminded her that the lawn mower manufacturer in their infinite wisdom label each cap either “OIL” or “GAS.”  The oil generally goes in the hole with the “OIL” label, and the gas follows a similar pattern.

The mower guy wanted to charge $68 but the WP using her charms and a timely pout talked him down to $10.

This weekend Mrs. Cranky and I visited the WP in North Carolina where I was recruited to help with some yard work.  The tractor would not start.  I had to show the WP how even though it looked like there was gas in the tank it was in fact empty.

Later on the tractor was broken again.  I showed her how the battery cables loosen up from all the vibrations.  We tightened them up and the broken tractor ran again.

The weed-whacker was next.  I showed the WP how to pump gas in the engine, set the choke, pull the cord, rev it up and take it off choke.  I then showed her how to tilt the trimmer to edge and reload the line when it got worn down.  The WP was then off and trimming and seemed quite happy with her new found skill.

As I watched I thought back to when my dad showed me how to start the lawn mower, how to operate the controls, and demonstrated the importance of a tight clean battery cable connection.  This is stuff all dads need to pass along to their children, even their little girls. 

The WP recently turned the big 4-O.  It may be late to pass on my daddy knowledge.  I never thought my little princess would need these skills.

It is as they say, better late than never.