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Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Old Dudes with Glasses Are Often Big Asses


Old Dudes with Glasses Are Often Big Asses



Since my cataract surgery, where I had corrective lens replacement, I need glasses, but I don’t need glasses.  I mean I can read, and see distance pretty well, if I squint, and if I had to I could survive without any glasses.

But…small print is difficult to read.  It is not blurry, it is just too tiny to read comfortably, so I need magnifying glasses.  I can see TV ok, but slightly corrective glasses make watching more relaxing.

Because I can survive without glasses for reading or just general getting around, I often found myself needing glasses that were not conveniently available.  I would be upstairs and I’d have left my glasses downstairs or in the basement.

No problem, glasses are cheap if you don’t buy ones with frames from some asshole fancy name designer.  How hard is it to design glasses?  Let’s see, how about a frame that holds the lenses in place and hooks on to your ears so they don’t fall off your nose!

For a nominal fee, I purchased two extra pair of glasses for getting around and TV watching, plus I repaired an old pair of frames that I had broken when I sat on them.  I also purchased three pair of Rite-aide reading magnifier glasses.

I now have a pair of readers and regulars on every floor, and a fourth pair of regulars in my car.

End of problem, I always have a pair of glasses handy.

Except…

It seems I often have a pair resting on my head as I do not need them all the time.  Then I go to a different floor and take them off my head.  Next thing I know I have multiple sets of readers and regulars all on the same floor. 

I can’t win for trying.

Just the other day I was downstairs in the kitchen with a pair of my upstairs regulars on my head and I realized my basement glasses were in the kitchen.  I had to get something from the basement so I figured I would take the basement pair downstairs where they belong.

Except…

I got distracted, like a pin dropped or something…anyway, I went downstairs and forgot to bring down the basement glasses.

Crap!

I went back upstairs when I realized I had a pair of glasses on my head.  I could have just left them in the basement and used my basement glasses for my upstairs glasses, they are basically the same.

Crap!

And Mrs. C claims I am being stubborn about getting a hearing aid…I have enough trouble keeping up with the damn glasses!

This getting old thing sucks.

“What?”

19 comments:

  1. I never knew there's a fashion designer named Asshole. I'll have to look him up ... or down! I wonder if he makes other things apart from glasses? Like T shirts with his "face" on it. Now that would be fashionable and chic.

    God bless.

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  2. Giggling here at the box of reading glasses. My M-i-law left a trail of such all over the house.

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  3. You're making me happy that I really do need glasses! They are conveniently located on my face at all times, unless sleeping.

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  4. You're not doing anything different than the rest of us old people. I love hearing about your coming and goings.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. 😎

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  5. Get yourself a pair of bifocals and wear them all the time Cranky....it's easier on the nerves. Besides, glasses make you look distinguished.

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    Replies
    1. I had bi-focals, and then tri-focals before my surgery...HATED THEM!!!

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  6. I also have glasses upstairs and downstairs. I used to have a pair in the car as sunglasses, but then my prescription changed. I miss driving when I could see.

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  7. I have about 12 reading glasses in the house - somewhere. There might be a few in the garden also.

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  8. Grandpa just wears two pair at a time, the readers on the bottom and the distance on top. Looks odd, but it works for him.

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  9. I have my bifocals, which allow me to see a bit more sharply at distances and to read, around my neck with a string attached (Walmart pharmacy for a couple of bucks). Most of the time they're hanging down on my chest but they're there if I need them.

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  10. I will soon getting my first set of corrective lens although I won't be going though a brick and motar store.
    Coffee is on

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  11. I'm glad I only have the one pair that are with me at all times. Otherwise, I imagine it would be the same with me trying to keep track of them all.

    betty

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  12. Oh, you need hearing aid ... gosh, should I be SHOUTING?
    I've been keeping the local optician waiting for a couple of years but I will NOT fork out unnecessary sums of money. Opticians where I live have great joy in recommending specs that cost the earth so I decided to sit it out and see what happens.

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  13. ... glad I gotta wear 'em all day every day but for a different reason. I could try your strategy but Queenie would see 'em sitting somewhere and decide they need to be somewhere else. usually somewhere I'd never put 'em.

    Somewhere there's a couple HUUGE stashes of mechanical pencils ... and a couple more of 'normal' pens (she only uses the cutesie styles) ... and in nearly 30 years in this house I have only found one small stash. Somewhere when we die and the kids are ditching our junk they'll find 'em. Heck, by then they'll probably be quaint antiques in a paper-less age and the kids'll get rich. Meanwhile, I'm going broke replacing the ones Queenie seizes .......

    It's really a sad story, I try not to burden my friends.

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  14. Know what you mean. I have three different strengths for different purposes. One for computer, one for TV and one for reading and my Sunday go to meeting expensive ones that cover all bases for when I leave the house. Each has its own holder and stays by the place needed. I get the single lens glasses at Dollar Tree. Haven't done the head trick yet but there is still time:))

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  15. The only time I have to wear glasses is when I want to see.

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  16. been there, several hundred times. I was one of those near sighted kids who became a near sighted adult and when I had cataract surgery it was a whole new world out there. My husband and I both need readers now, and we are close enough in visionland that we can use the same glasses.

    When we can find them.

    I do the glasses on the head thing, take them off, and walk away. 'honey, you seen my glasses?" "No, you seen mine?" We were up to seven pairs, then I sat on one pair last week, and he ran over another that slid out of my pocket...two of them have one lens, and it was time.

    I tried hanging them from a cord around the neck, but when you carry stuff they get hung up in the carton flap, or the armload of wood, or groceries, or cat, who loves to play with them...

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  17. Think of all the steps you are getting in, just keeping track of your glasses! I bet you get to 10,000 every day... :-p

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