HEADLINES 070112

HEADLINES 070112

It’s Sunday, time for Cranky’s weekly headlines and my stupid sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.  If you don’t like them, blame Lo @ http://loisstearns.blogspot.com/ she encouraged me!

Postal Unit Cuts Hours to 30 Minutes Per Day – Next day delivery now takes 48 hours.

Plane tows swastika banner, startles NJ beachgoers -  Beachgoers were surprised thet “Swastika Banner Day” came so early this year.

Christian group backs away from ex-gay therapy – “Backs away”……REALLY?

New Jersey man throws intestines at cops after repeatedly stabbing himself – Well he did have a lot of guts! (Sorry, it's the Tourettes)

Couple Tears Down $4.2 Million Manse for a Better View – It turns out it was cheaper to tear down the mansion then to build a new better view.

NJ Mayor Cory Booker Shows Up at Accident Scene… Again- Newark NJ mayor seems to always be around when help is needed.

Does Hallmark Card Bash Tea Party? – “Roses are red violets are blue, the Tea Party is RACIST and ANTI-SEMETIC…Happy Birthday to you!” You be the judge.

Houston strip clubs hit by new 'pole tax' to fund rape investigations – Wha wha wha WHAT??

"Monster" Colorado wildfire rages; Obama plans visit – Cory Booker is already there beating the fire back with a shovel.  “Hey, I was just passing through.”  (It’s a New Jersey superhero thing.)

World awaits latest in hunt for Higgs particle – Scientist’s search includes chant, “Saint Anthony, Saint Anthony please come around; something is lost and needs to be found.”

Stowaways possible in container ship docked in NJ – Cory Booker thought he saw something with his ex-ray vision.  “Hey, I was just in the area.”

Eric Holder Prepares for Contempt Vote with Barbecue – Republicans anxious to grill Holder.  AG Holder flashes giant “B” in the sky looking for help. (Sorry Eric, he’s in Colorado stamping out a real fire.)

Israel crowns 'Miss Holocaust Survivor' – The requirements for this Pageant are really tough!

Earth adds leap second Saturday night – Well, this aught a make for a really wild Saturday night!  

Come back next Sunday for more Cranky Headlines of the week!