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Sunday, July 31, 2011

BLOG FLUFF

BLOG FLUFF

My blog page is too plain.  I have finally learned to add some gadgets and photos, but the colors and background are what they are. I have no idea how to change them.

I see other blogs and they have some really cool stuff.  Home pages and different tabs,  blogs they follow, buttons and widgets, swimming fish, videos, strobe lights, whatever.  My blog has no tabs, no flashing lights, no nothing.  Just straight up black on white print. 

It reminds me of my days in school.

In the eighth grade I would hand in a book report written in pencil on plane lined paper.  My typical grade? B – “Nice content needs more effort!”

Looking around at other reports, it seemed all the girls got the big A+ and “Nice Job!!” They also got a sticky star.  What did they do to get a sticky star? 

Their reports were all neatly typed.  The typed pages were then glued to colored paper.  The pages glued to the colored paper were then enclosed in a booklet.  The cover of the booklet was titled in fancy swirly print, each letter in a different color.  Beneath the cover was a picture appropriate to the report.  The pictures came from a magazine perfectly cut out and pasted on.  Beneath the picture was the author’s name, once again in neat multi-colored print, “By Sally Kissarse.”  The cover was accented with sparkles and the whole package was held together by two perfectly tied ribbons.

I am pretty sure every eighth-grade book report ever written has been the same. 

“Huck Finn, written by Mark Twain is a story about a young boy growing up along the Mississippi River in the olden days.  He got into trouble in almost every way possible and used his cunning and guile to escape scary situations.  An example was when…..yada yada yada, blah blah blah…..”  Finally all eighth grade book reports end with the same sentence, “If you want to find out how it ends, you have to read the book.”

That will not get you the A+ “Nice Job!” and a sticky star.

If you want a sticky star you have to add the sparkles!

How do I add sparkles to my blog page?  I want the sticky star!

Saturday, July 30, 2011

EAT YOUR VEGGIES!!

EAT YOUR VEGGIES!!!


There was a time when parents did not have to tell their children to eat.  When it was meal time, food was put out, a bell was rung, and hungry children ran to the table.  They did not ask “What’s for dinner?”  If they asked anything it was “Will we have dinner?”
Meat was not a given.  It was served only after a successful hunt.  Potatoes and veggies were not eaten because they were “good for you” they were consumed so you did not DIE of starvation.  Parents did not coax their children to eat; the child’s stomach let them know.  Desert was not an entitlement; it was special, saved for special occasions.

Anorexia nervosa did not exist!

We are so spoiled today that we expect to have meals at specific times, and they better be GOOD.  Still we have to beg our children to eat.  “Come on, eat some; it’s good for you….Eat your veggies or you won’t get desert.” We bribe our children to EAT! 
Food should not be a used to bribe children to behave.  When I was a child if you misbehaved it was “Go to your room without any supper!”  Time-out?  I could have done time-out standing on my head; being hungry in a room without a TV, computer, or even a radio….that was enough to have you walk a straight line.  Granted at around 8:30 mom would sneak upstairs with a piece of chicken and some mashed potatoes, (good cop bad cop) but the message was received loud and clear.

Is our government today a product of the  please “Eat your veggies” society?
We want the desert.  We want free health care, Medicare, Social Security, new roads and infrastructure, low interest rates, easy mortgages, unlimited unemployment insurance, food stamps, stimulus plans, handouts, and safety nets.  We don’t want to control spending.  We don’t want to cut the lard, salt, or the saturated fats from our diet.  We don’t want things we do not like, we just want the desert.  Why not?  Just let the rich (defined as anyone with more money than me) pay more and more.  Let mommy and daddy take care of the unpleasant stuff. 

Why not?  Because desert is just for special occasions.  Desert is saved for when times are good.  Desert is to celebrate.  Mommy and daddy are there to make sure you have the basics to survive until you grow the F*** up!
Stop looking for desert. Stop looking for someone else to take care of you. 

American People….. EAT YOUR VEGGIES!  

Friday, July 29, 2011

BIRDING

BIRDING

Could there be a geekier hobby than Birding?  Tromping through the woods, the fields, or the shore, binoculars in hand, Audubon book in the back pocket looking for birds.  What a giant waste of time.  They’re just stupid birds for crispy sake!  And yet I am guilty of being a closet birder.
I never kept a log of birds I have seen, but I am keenly aware of birds and I am always looking for a new species.  I inherited this interest from my mom.  Mom was not an expert, but we had a book, “Birds of North America,”  that was always handy.  If one of us spotted a new bird we would run to the book and try and identify it.

There were always plenty of sparrows, flickers, crows, grackles, starlings cowbirds, robins, blue jays, tit mouse, and hawks.  There are several types of hawks.  I really only know the red tail hawk.  If I see a hawk I identify it as a red tail.  I am right 90% of the time.  The cardinal was the most beautiful of the common birds in our neighborhood.


Less common were blue birds, gold finches and the evening grosbeak.  My favorite was the cedar waxwing.  Looking like a little bandit with a black mask and a cute top notch they only showed up in the spring to feed on the red berries of a nasty thorn bush in our back yard.  The waxwings come in a flock, maybe 50 birds.  They all land and take off as one.  It is fascinating how they time the process much like a school of fish.

The one bird I most wanted to spot and never did was the scarlet tanager.  The size of a robin, brilliant red with black wings it was the prettiest bird in the book.  They live in the north east, but apparently they prefer deep woods.  I never saw one or even knew anyone that had seen one.

A few years back on a fly fishing excursion with Frog and Catfish (see fishing with Frog) we were driving along a winding road on the West Virginia side of the North Potomac looking for a spot to drop in to the river for trout fishing.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of brilliant red.  “Tanager” I shouted excitedly.  I thought these two avid fly fishermen would not give a hoot.  I was wrong.

“Where” the two screamed in unison as Frog stood on the brake.
“Ten yards back.” I responded surprised that anyone else gave a darn.

Frog slammed his SUV in reverse and sure enough up on a branch as colorful and magnificent as in “The Book” was a scarlet tanager.  It did not move and neither did we.  When it finally did fly off, we followed.  For fifteen minutes we followed and gawked at that bird until he finally flew deep into the woods out of sight.

I thought I was the only “Birder” in my circle of friends.  It turns out Frog and Catfish were also in the bird watcher closet. 

I caught one small trout that three day weekend.  Frog caught about twelve.  Catfish doesn’t even count.  About thirty he guessed.  But I was the hero of the trip. 

I spotted the scarlet tanager.

Thx to Lou "Waiting to Emigrate" For endorsing "Maybe It's Just Me!"


Thursday, July 28, 2011

THE TROUBLE WITH DIETS

THE TROUBLE WITH DIETS

The trouble with diets or any attempt at self improvement is people want to see you fail.  They won’t say they want you to fail, but they want you to fail.  If you lose weight your overweight friends fail.  If you quit smoking your smoking friends fail.  If you get your ass to the gym five days a week, your couch potato friends fail.
Nobody wants to be a failure, so they root for you to fail.

I recently went on a diet.  You can’t go on a diet without letting everyone know because someone is always trying to feed you bad stuff that you have to turn down.

For instance yesterday for breakfast I had one cup of oatmeal; no sugar.  For lunch I had a radish.  For dinner I had a piece of fish, 2 ounces of rice, some beets and an unsweetened ice tea.  I then went over to a neighbor’s house to celebrate his birthday.  “No thanks, I’m on a diet.”  I reply when offered that piece of birthday cake. 

“Come on, a little piece can’t hurt.”

“OK, but just a sliver.”

He cuts a piece that would choke a horse.  To be polite I eat the piece.

“Some diet” he taunts, “how about some more!”

He wants me to fail.

Once people know you are dieting they become part of the food patrol.  If I so much as eat a potato chip, mind you normally I eat them by the handful, someone will notice. 

“Hey, I thought you were on a diet?  Do you know how many calories are in that chip?”

“YES!  About 1000 FUCKING times less than what I used to shovel down my throat before I went on a diet!” (I might be extra cranky when dieting).

“Sure sure, I know, maybe you can start your diet again next week.”

That’s right, one freaking chip and they have you off your diet. 

They want you to fail.

Smokers want you to fail even more.  Just try to quit cigarettes.  To other smokers you are a traitor.  They constantly offer you a cigarette and let you know when they are going out for a smoke.

“Oh, that’s right, you’re quitting.  Good luck with that!”

If you backslide a little, so much as steal a puff; it is all over.

“I knew you couldn’t quit.” 

They want you to fail.

If I make plans to go to the gym my “friends” will do anything to keep me away. 

"You goin to the gym?  Come on, the game is on, we ordered pizza, the gym is going to be crowded, you look good fat, sweat is bad, you’ll pull a muscle again.  Just have a seat, you can work out tomorrow.” 

They want you to fail.

Well I don’t care; screw all these people that want me to fail.  I am going to start working out at the gym.  I plan to start just as soon as I lose some weight.  The problem is it is hard to diet if you are quitting smoking, so I need to work out to lose the weight, but I can’t work out because my wind is so bad from smoking.  So my plan is to diet, lose the weight, quit smoking and then start to work out, unless I put the weight back on from quitting smoking….

Screw it! I’ll take that second slice of cake….after I go out for a smoke.

Many thanks to Lou @"Waiting to Emmigrate" for her blog endorsing "Maybe It's Just Me!"


For more stuff buy "Maybe It's Just Me!" @ rosedogbooks.com

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Wednesday, July 27, 2011

POLITICIANS-JUST FIND A WAY

HEY POLITICIANS – FIND A WAY!!


 Let see…the country is running out of money, what should we do?  Our politicians have a problem figuring this out.  Don’t they ever run out of money in their personal life?  I majored in Economics about one hundred years ago, plus I have often been in danger of running out of money so I believe I am an expert on what to do when you are running out of money.

The first thing to do when you are running out of money is to get more money.  That is easy.  You take a part time job and or sell shit that you have that you don’t need.  The next thing to do is stop spending on shit you can live without.

Why is this so hard? 

The government equivalent of getting another job is to raise taxes.  The problem with this is there is a limit on how high you can raise taxes the same as I have a limit on how many part time jobs I can handle.  If I am working 18 hours a day I cannot take on another job.  If I did, my productivity would drop such that I would take in less money per hour and would not increase (maybe even decrease) my income.  If the government raises taxes beyond a certain point they decrease workers incentive, and will not increase (maybe even decrease) revenue.

The Democrats want to increase taxes; the Republicans believe this would be the equivalent to taking on part time jobs beyond your limit to be productive.

Who is right? 

The only way to find out is to responsibly raise taxes and see the results.  If revenues increase, then fine.  If not, you can always repeal the increase.  Who should we saddle with the increased taxes?  That is easy, anybody except me!  OR - Whoever will cost the politicians the least votes.  That would be the very wealthy.  The very wealthy would be defined as anybody who makes more money than me!

The next step is to cut expenses.  This is easy.  I would cut out morning coffee at Starbucks, drop HBO on my cable, walk to the store if I can, take a shorter vacation, eat out less, eat in cheaper, quit smoking, quit drinking, drop internet service, eliminate cell phone apps, play less golf, drop out of my bowling league…..Whatever it takes to cut costs to equal my income.  SIMPLE.  Republicans think there is lots of shit in government to cut.  Democrats always believer cuts would be “Draconian”.  They think we are a “sinking ship with no cargo to jettison.” (Mark Twain)   

My experience with cutting costs in the brokerage industry is it was a simple process.  Any costs not directly related to revenue were cut 10-15% across the board.  Every department manager complained that they could not run their operations with the 10-15% cut.  Every department manager took the cut in their budget, and every department manager found a way to process the business without cutting productivity.

People find a way. 

If a person can only jump one foot off the ground and you ask him to jump 14 inches he will tell you “I can’t I can’t.”  Hang a twenty dollar bill fourteen inches above his reach.

People find a way.

Raise taxes, cut expenses, sell stuff we don’t need. 

Do we use all our battleships?  When is the last time we fought with a battleship?  How many nuclear subs do we really need?  Can’t we consolidate offices and sell some buildings? 

Have a freaking bake sale, auction a Senator for a night, run a 50-50.

FIND A WAY!



Democrats are afraid to cut costs as they may lose votes.  Republicans are afraid to raise taxes as they may lose votes.

Trust me, if the country goes bankrupt, if bills are not paid, if our credit rating goes down which would raise our costs and our debt even higher, if the consequences of that is higher unemployment and an extended recession or depression, no one will vote for anyone that even knows where Washington D.C. is!  Every Congressman, Senator, and the President will be heading home, and home will not throw them a parade.

Just cut the crap Republicans, give in a little and increase taxes.  Come on Democrats, cut costs.  There is plenty of bull shit out there to be cut.  Put a brick in every toilet; turn out lights when you leave the room, turn the heat down in the winter and the air up in the summer. 

FIND A WAY! 

Just once govern for the country, not for reelection. 

You have seven days to be responsible legislators or to be spoiled little dipshits who take their ball and go home if they don’t get their way.

I keep hearing from politicians “The American People this and The American People that, blah blah blah.”  I tell you this, screw this budget up and the American People will talk for themselves and the talk will be loud, the talk will be ugly, and the talk will last a long time!

FIND A WAY!!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

CUSSIN

CUSSING
I received a comment from a lovely lady from Utah asking me to elliminate the bad words in my blog as her children also read blogs she follows.  My sister-in-law editor once questioned my language and I responded with the following on "CUSSING" which is part of the yet unpublished "I Used To Be Stupid."  I do try and use my cursing for comic value and doubt I can change.  Perhaps The Cranky Old Man should be off base to children.  I don't think words are evil, the intent of words is what can be hurtful.

When did cursing become an acceptable part of our culture?  I remember the movie “Saving Private Ryan”.  Reviewers credited the film with its abundant use of “bad words” as finally accurately depicting a war scenario.  Seemingly the stress of a brutal war such as WWII would have brought out uncensored language from hungry, sleep deprived, un-showered men, pained from seeing their friends and comrades being shot or blown up.  But was this depiction really accurate?
The WWII generation I knew never cursed.  They did not even call it cursing; bad words were “cussing”.  Even the word curse was a curse.  I never once heard my father, any of my uncles, or my grandfather use a “bad word”.  I never heard a neighbor or teacher use a “bad word”.

My Mom did have a potty mouth.  Faced with a minor inconvenience such as a dropped egg she would sometimes exclaim “Hell’s Bells”.  We would not even flinch.  Something major like a burnt and ruined pot roast would elicit a “Dammit to Hell!”  The entire Hagy clan would become scarce over this outburst until we heard the downgraded “Hell’s Bells” when we knew the coast was clear.  Other than those rare outbursts I never heard a “cuss” while growing up. 

The Lord’s name was never taken in vain.  Damn, Dammit, or God Dammit were substituted with Darn, Dang it, Gosh Darn, Gol Darn it, or Dad Burn it.  “Jesus Christ”, was “Cheese and Rice”.

All “cussing” was watered down.  Shit! Was Shoot! Phooey replaced Fuck and Shucks was a combo.  Crap became Crud, Piss was Pee and you stepped in dog doo, doody, poop, or poo.  People who you did not like were not assholes, they were horse’s asses, or the even more watered down horse’s patoots.  My Dad would never directly call anyone an ass; he would just comment, “You know there are more horse’s asses in this world than there are horses”.

Apparently sailors regularly used “bad” words as I always heard the expression “He curses like a sailor”.  I never heard a sailor curse, but I’m guessing they did.  I’m not as sure about the soldiers as depicted in today’s movies. 

I think the non use of these words was firmly ingrained in this generation and they were avoided by most, even under the greatest stress imaginable.  Before this generation would holler “Die you mother fucking German asshole”, they would remember that bar of soap Grandma made them eat when caught saying “Damn you!” and they would revert to, “Phooey on you, you flipping Krout!”

WWII graffiti would confirm the above assertion.  I’ve never seen pictures of war torn walls with “Fuck you Hitler” or “Mussolini sucks cock” written on them, only the scrawlings of a man peering over a wall with the caption “Killroy was here”.  Pretty nasty stuff don’t cha think?  

My high school football coach, Gary Kehler, never cursed.  The worst word he ever used was “piddle”.  “Hagy that block was piddle”.  I never really knew what piddle meant, but when I heard it in conjunction with my name I just nodded my head and ran a lap.  He might have once hollered “Dag Blast It”, but that was leveled at our fullback Leroy Gallman, so I ignored it.

Piddle means CRAP you dumb bunny.  Now take a lap!

You got it coach.

I believe it was comedians who first pushed the envelope with words.  Curse words added punctuation to a story and the shock factor made people laugh.  Lenny Bruce was the first to openly use curse words, and he was publicly ostracized and jailed for his use of unacceptable language.  Privately his humor was legendary.

George Carlin’s brilliant routine on the seven words you can’t say on television finally opened the floodgates on profanity.  A master wordsmith, Carlin brilliantly exposed the hypocrisy of the banning of “shit, piss, fuck, cunt, mother-fucker, cock-sucker, and tit”.  His logical dissertations on the use of words were genius. 

“You can prick your finger…... but you can’t finger your prick!!"

Once acceptable as humor, profanity seeped into books, movies and cable TV.  So common did this speech become in the media, it worked its way into our everyday lexicon.  Previously limited to back alleys, seedy bars, or stag parties, profanity is now common on crowded streets, public transportation and cocktail parties.  Once never uttered in the presence of a Lady, these words are now often initiated by ladies.

The use of profanity does have a place in humor, and I am in fact guilty of using it in an attempt at humor in my writing, but the world might be better off if we limited these words in our normal everyday life.  How many knife stabbings, gun shots or incidents of road rage would be eliminated if “Phooey on you, you big stupid head” replaced, “Fuck you, you fucking asshole!”?

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can cut like a knife!  “Ugly,” can hurt. “Fatso” can be painful.  “Nigger,” “Faggot,” or “Honkey” can be lethal.  “Old fat bald guy,” is also not very nice (trust me). 

All words have a time and a place, but they can be used with the intent to hurt.  When used to hurt, curse words are the weapons of mass destruction in our verbal arsenal.

God Dammit, did I just write something profound?

Let me read that again………Shit, I think that’s profound!

I’ll read it again in ten years, I’m sure by then it will just be stupid.  

Monday, July 25, 2011

LEAST FAVORITE THINGS

THESE ARE SOME OF MY LEAST FAVORITE THINGS

Concerts and operas and shows with magicians;
Getting much older and losing friends through attrition.

Waking at night and having to pee;

These are the reasons I hate being me.

When the Yanks win, when I drink gin;

When I’m feeling glad.

I simply remember all of these crappy things;

And then I just feel so mad.


A fly in my ice tea, a broken down telly;

My seat at the movies next to a guy that is smelly.

My razor is rusty the aftershave stings;

These are some of my least favorite things.

When the sun shines, when I drink wine
When I’m feeling grand.
I simply remember my least favorite things;

And then I feel like shit! And I get really cranky, and I hate that fucking happy Julie Andrew’s whiskers on kittens shit!
Sorry, I’m running short on material.

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Sunday, July 24, 2011

SKIPPING

SKIPPING

Why do people skip?  Well, why do kids skip?  Only children skip.

Skipping does not make any sense.  It is slower to skip than it is to run and it takes more energy.  Children are encouraged to take that first walking step.  Running is just really fast walking.  Skipping?  What is that? 

Parents do not teach their children to skip.  I wouldn’t even know how to teach skipping.  Kids just do it.  Mostly girls skip although I vaguely remember skipping as a child.  For some reason kids stop skipping at around ten years old.  I think boys stop earlier.  Kids sometimes hold hands and skip.  They don’t hold hands and run, they seldom hold hands and walk and if they do, walking and hand holding usually ends up in skipping.

I don’t think kids ever skip unless they are happy.  They will walk unhappy.  They will run when they are unhappy.  It is not possible for an unhappy child to skip.

Skipping is the only form of transportation that has never resulted in a race.  There are walking races in the Olympics.  Swimmers race, runners race, skiers race, bicycles, cars, skateboards, sleds, skates, boats, airplanes, trucks, hopping in a potato sack, every possible form of forward motion has always resulted in someone saying “Let’s race!”  I have never heard of a skipping race.  Skipping is happy, it just cannot get competitive.

I think maybe because it makes no sense, because it looks silly, people stop skipping after the age of ten.  Kids don’t care what looks silly; they don’t care what makes sense, if they have an emotion, they will show it.  When children are happy, when they are excited, they skip.  When I see children skip, it makes me happy, it makes me smile. 

Maybe the world would be better off if we all remembered how to skip.  If the boss gives you a raise, skip back to your cubicle.  If you are going to buy a new car, skip to the dealer.  That girl agrees to marry you, skip around the room.  You pass the bar exam, skip to the bar. 

Would this show of happiness upset those around us who were not as fortunate?  Do we need to control our emotions as grownups or risk hurting other peoples’ feelings?  As grownups when we are really happy, we feel we have to tone down our emotions.

I think some people are unhappy and suffer from depression because they are afraid to skip.  Come on everyone let it all hang out. 

It is time we remember how to SKIP!
For more stuff buy "Maybe It's Just Me!" @amazon http://adf.ly/1MJqD click to look inside for sample stuff
also available at rosedogbooks.com  follow on twitter JoeHagyauthor 

Saturday, July 23, 2011

MY RETIREMENT IS NOT WORKING

MY RETIREMENT IS NOT WORKING

I worked for forty years at a job I did not particularly enjoy.  For forty years I looked forward to retirement and not doing anything.  When I took vacations I did nothing.  I am just a lazy person.

Now that I am retired, people expect me to do something.  “What are you doing?” They ask me.  “Aren’t you bored?” They follow up.  Some people have even offered suggestions for things to keep me busy.  “Have you tried helping at the Hospital?  Do you know they are hiring part time at Wal-Mart?  The Church is always looking for volunteers.”

Thank you very much, but I enjoy doing nothing.  I plan to continue to do nothing.  Doing nothing has always been my dream.  Doing nothing is what I do.  I am not good at many things; I am very good at doing nothing.  It has been said that if you can earn a living doing something you love, you will never have to work.  I love doing nothing!


Occasionally I play golf, go bowling, read, swim or go to the gym.  These are just my diversions from doing nothing.  Doing nothing is my primary vocation.  I enjoy my vocation thank you very much please don’t offer suggestions for things for me to do.  I don’t go to a lawyer and suggest he become a life guard.  I don’t suggest to my doctor that he try teaching.  I do nothing, I do nothing very well and I love doing nothing.

On a typical day I wake up at 12:30, have breakfast (brunch), think about going to the gym and then watch TV.  I am an expert on TV Judge Programs.  Judge Judy is my favorite (I plan a future blog on these shows).   At five I think about dinner.  At six I eat dinner (if I feel like it).  Then I watch TV, baseball football or basketball if they are on.  At eleven Mrs. Cranky is home from her part time job and we watch more TV, maybe spend some couples time and then watch more TV.  I might turn in at 3:00AM if there are no more good shows or movies.  During TV time I am on the computer reading stuff or playing poker.  I spend maybe an hour and a half on my blog.

Recently I received an email from my once a year fishing buddy, Catfish.  Catfish retired this year after forty some years of a high stress government job.  The Catfish had made a list of his top 100 popular songs from the sixties to today.  He was interested in opinions of his list so he emailed it to a number of people.  He received many responses suggesting songs he left out or songs he should not have included.  Along with each suggestion he was also admonished with “You must have way too much time.”

I say to Catfish; NO! You do not have way too much time, you finally have THE time to do stuff you always wanted to do.  Embrace it.  Enjoy it.  You have earned it.

Incidentally Catfish’s list has created quite a stir of comments, apparently by people who have way too much time.

Here is The Catfish’s list.  Make a comment if you have the time:

1.       AC/DC                                                                                   Hell’s Bells

2.       AC/DC                                                                                   Thunderstruck

3.       Aerosmith                                                                           Rag Doll

4.       Aerosmith                                                                           Walk This Way

5.       Bad Company                                                                    Feel Like Making Love

6.       Bad Company                                                                    Bad Company

7.       Bill Haley and his Comets                                              Rock Around the Clock

8.       Billy Idol                                                                               White Wedding               

9.       Billy Joel                                                                               It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me

10.   Black Sabboth                                                                    Iron Man

11.   Blondie                                                                                 Heart of Glass

12.   Bob Dylan                                                                            Like a Rolling Stone

13.   Bob Dylan                                                                            Subterranean Homesick Blues

14.   Bob Seger                                                                           Old Time Rock and Roll

15.   Bon Jovi                                                                               Wanted Dead or Alive   

16.   Bruce Springsteen                                                           Born in the USA

17.   Bruce Springsteen                                                           Thunder Road

18.   Buddy Holly                                                                        Peggy Sue

19.   Buddy Knox                                                                        Party Doll

20.   Carl Perkins                                                                        Blue Suede Shoes

21.   Chuck Berry                                                                        Roll Over Beethoven

22.   Chuck Berry                                                                        Johnny Be Good

23.   Creedence Clearwater Revival                                   Born on the Bayou

24.   Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young                                  Woodstock

25.   Deep Purple                                                                      Smoke on the Water

26.   Def Leppard                                                                       Rock of Ages

27.   Del Shannon                                                                      Runaway

28.   Derek and the Dominos                                                                Layla

29.   Eagles                                                                                   Life in the Fast Lane

30.   Elvis Presley                                                                       Jailhouse Rock

31.   Elvis Presley                                                                       Hound Dog

32.   Eric Clapton                                                                        Lay Down Sally

33.   George Thorogood and the Destroyers                 Bad to the Bone

34.   Guns N’Roses                                                                    Sweet Child of Mine

35.   Heart                                                                                     Barracuda

36.   James Brown                                                                     I got You (I Feel Good)

37.   Janis Joplin                                                                          Me and Bobby McGee

38.   Janis Joplin                                                                          Piece of My Heart

39.   Jefferson Airplane                                                           Somebody to Love

40.   Jerry Lee Lewis                                                                 Whole Lotta Shaken’ Going On

41.   Jerry Lee Lewis                                                                 Great Balls of Fire

42.   Jimi Hendrix                                                                       Purple Haze

43.   Jimi Hendrix                                                                       Foxy Lady

44.   Joan Jett and the Blackhearts                                     I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll

45.   Led Zeppelin                                                                      Stairway to Heaven

46.   Led Zeppelin                                                                      Whole Lotta Love

47.   Little Richard                                                                      Lucille

48.   Little Richard                                                                      Good Golly Miss Molly

49.   Lynrd Skynyrd                                                                   Freebird

50.   Marvin Gaye                                                                      I Heard It On the Grapevine

51.   Metallica                                                                              Enter Sandman

52.   Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels                       Devil with a Blue Dress On

53.   Neil Diamond                                                                     Cherry Cherry

54.   Neil Young                                                                          Rockin’ In the Free World

55.   Norman Greenbaum                                                      Spirit in the Sky

56.   Pat Benatar                                                                        Hit Me With Your Best Shot

57.   Pink Floyd                                                                           Another Brick in the Wall (Part 2)

58.   Prince                                                                                   Purple Rain

59.   Queen                                                                                  We Will Rock You

60.   Queen                                                                                  Bohemian Rhapsody

61.   Queen                                                                                  Fat Bottom Girls

62.   Righteous Brothers                                                         Unchained Melody

63.   Rod Stewart                                                                       Hot Legs

64.   Rod Stewart                                                                       Maggie May

65.   Roy Orbison                                                                       Oh, Pretty Woman

66.   Santana                                                                                Black Magic Woman

67.   Sly and the Family Stone                                               Dance to the Music

68.   Steppenwolf                                                                      Born to be Wild

69.   The Allman Brothers Band                                           Ramblin Man

70.   The Animals                                                                       House of the Rising Sun

71.   The Beach Boys                                                                                Help Me Rhonda

72.   The Beach Boys                                                                                Little Deuce Coup

73.   The Beatles                                                                        Hey Jude

74.   The Beatles                                                                        Revolution

75.   The Beatles                                                                        Hard Day’s Night

76.   The Beatles                                                                        Twist and Shout

77.   The Byrds                                                                            Mr. Tambourine Man

78.   The Del –Vikings                                                               Come and Go With Me

79.   The Doobie Brothers                                                      Black Water

80.   The Doors                                                                           Roadhouse Blues

81.   The Doors                                                                           Light My Fire

82.   The Everly Brothers                                                        Bye Bye Love

83.   The Hollies                                                                          Long Cool Woman (in a Black Dress)

84.   The Isley Brothers                                                           Shout

85.   The Kingsmen                                                                   Louie Louie

86.   The Kinks                                                                             Lola

87.   The Rolling Stones                                                           I Can’t Get No Satisfaction

88.   The Rolling Stones                                                           Brown Sugar

89.   The Rolling Stones                                                           Sympathy for the Devil

90.   The Troggs                                                                          Wild Thing

91.   The Who                                                                              Won’t Get Fooled Again

92.   The Who                                                                              Pinball Wizard

93.   Tina Turner                                                                         Proud Mary

94.   Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers                                                Last Dance with Mary Jane

95.   U2                                                                                          With or Without You      

96.   Van Morrison                                                                    Brown Eyed Girl

97.   Wilson Pickett                                                                   Mustang Sally

98.   Wilson Pickett                                                                   In the Midnight Hour

99.   ZZ Top                                                                   Sharp Dressed Man

100. ZZ Top                                                                                 Legs



Since the “Catfish 100” received so much interest I am adding the Cranky Top Ten Movies in no particular order:

Godfather

Jaws

Inherit the Wind (S. Tracy)

My Cousin Vinnie

The Green Mile

King Kong (Fay Ray)

Cool Hand Luke

Deep Throat (the uncut version)

The Jerk

Brian’s Song

Respond if you have nothing better to do with your time.


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