HEADLINES 10-30

HEADLINES 10-30

It’s Sunday, time for Cranky’s weekly silly headlines and my stupid sophomoric comments.  In two months these posts have received zero comments.  I interpret that as unanimous approval of these posts.  Therefore I submit this week’s HEADLINES:

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal Re-Elected in a Landslide – Governor survives and vows to stay away from mountainsides next election.

Hundreds of Indian Girls Named 'Unwanted' Choose New Names – Surprisingly, many chose Bashardi Bisichi or Hindi for “Bastard Bitch”.

Judge finalizes Milian-Dream divorce – What is a “Dream” divorce? Did Milian’s wife just leave the country?

Utah Mom Admits Trying to Sell Girl's Virginity – Mom tries the George Castanza defense, “Was that wrong? I never know for sure about these things, if knew that was wrong I wouldn’t have done it. No one ever told me that was wrong”


Woman allegedly stabbed by sometime-lover – Allegedly? Come on, was she stabbed or not?

Father of actress Lindsay Lohan arrested in Tampa – Michael Lohan arrested for impregnating Mrs. Lohan with Lindsey.

Face transplant recipient grants first interview – Demands cameras only show her best side.  I’m sorry, that’s why I’m going to hell.

Commonwealth Realms Agree to Abolish Royal Sex Discrimination – Common ordinary sex discrimination is still acceptable

Oops! School sign spelled wrong in South Florida school district – Superintendant insists regardless of this error, his school is one of the ”finest Instatooshuns in the entyre State.”

Woman guilty of trying to burn husband to death during nap – Woman says, “Next time I plan to set him on fire when I’m awake!”

Connecticut not sneaking up on anybody this season – Relieved, New York, New Jersey and Massachusetts drop their guard.