tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968059214758329257.post3650942157794158780..comments2024-03-26T17:55:50.539-04:00Comments on Cranky old man: SHAMING YOUR CHILDREN right or wrong?joehhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08520161706680568508noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968059214758329257.post-76842046949765153502013-05-26T08:42:58.745-04:002013-05-26T08:42:58.745-04:00This is a touchy one that needs case-by-case consi...This is a touchy one that needs case-by-case consideration. I like the idea of the thrift store wardrobe, but parents should stop short of out-right humiliation. I'm one of the old fogeys who still believes spanking has a place, too. And tell me again in plain English what all that crap was the school shrinks were saying?<br /><br />SLowandslowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08608734222483888884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968059214758329257.post-18699429078348676062013-05-26T01:56:51.610-04:002013-05-26T01:56:51.610-04:00Oh, actually I know why they are different. You ca...Oh, actually I know why they are different. You can shame and punish a child for stealing and scare the crap out of them about it without public shaming with the sign, which is humiliating and needlessly public. <br />With the clothes you are not shaming beyond the kid's immediate friends and they get a taste of how it feels to be teased for wearing daggy clothes.Jackie Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06322613989851869319noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968059214758329257.post-10889720030356640012013-05-26T01:53:34.280-04:002013-05-26T01:53:34.280-04:00Well, I actually agree with the "experts"...Well, I actually agree with the "experts" here...mostly. You want your kids to trust you and talk to you, and by shaming them you risk losing their trust.<br />On the other hand you have to do stop them if they're bullying or stealing or whatever.<br />I thought making the girl wear the "I am a thief" sign was horrendous, but I thought making the girl wear daggy clothes was fair enough. <br />Can't quite put my finger on the reason I see these two differently, but I do.Jackie Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06322613989851869319noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968059214758329257.post-56957900621224135162013-05-26T01:32:38.416-04:002013-05-26T01:32:38.416-04:00This is a tough subject, I'm not a big fan of ...This is a tough subject, I'm not a big fan of shaming anyone, but it is also essential that children learn that choices and actions have consequences, and that mean tthings we say and do to other hurt. If a child is taught right from wrong very young, and parents explain along with discipline, they have a better chance of being able to reason with them as they grow older. The point isn't to destroy a child's self esteem or basic trust in their parents, but to make them feel compassion and respect for others. If they don't get the message, start taking away all the electronic toys and freedoms until you get their attention, and don't back down!!Josie Two Shoeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18388032819905416258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968059214758329257.post-16520593431539157032013-05-25T23:57:09.279-04:002013-05-25T23:57:09.279-04:00Interesting post. Seems to me shame can only work ...Interesting post. Seems to me shame can only work as a detriment if the person one is trying to shame gives a good diddle what other people think. The hardcore "thief" wouldn't care, so trying to shame him would be unlikely to make much of a difference. The kid who made a stupid mistake, on the other hand, would be humiliated, but would that equate to a change in behavior? Perhaps, but I think there are better ways to do it. Especially if the child is young and impressionable. Could "branding" a kid with a bad label end up nudging him in that direction? (Hey, if my parents think I'm a loser, I might as well be one...)<br /><br />Role playing? We did that with our kids all the time. (We played the role of parents.) Susan Flett Swiderskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09425315552148200073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968059214758329257.post-3536267567842809842013-05-25T22:09:54.855-04:002013-05-25T22:09:54.855-04:00A very thought-provoking post. Shame was once an i...A very thought-provoking post. Shame was once an integral part of our penal system; remember those stocks the Puritans put offenders in, the dunking pond while your neighbors watched. I imagine many people toed the line to avoid public shaming. Today we fine people and they pay and go on to commit the same offense. I'm not so sure shame is a bad thing, but with children it needs to be used sparingly because the lesson needs to be understood more than the punishment.stephen Hayeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17659054447637207734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968059214758329257.post-84715179234884395992013-05-25T21:12:23.625-04:002013-05-25T21:12:23.625-04:00I'm with Joanne. Take away their most prized p...I'm with Joanne. Take away their most prized possessions, and they start to see the light. With my youngest, it was his GameBoy. Took a year and a half of constant enforcement, but he came around. Losing it for a weekend was like the end of the world for a 1st grader.Valhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13025832536749983018noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968059214758329257.post-45273556622884143012013-05-25T18:57:15.403-04:002013-05-25T18:57:15.403-04:00"Lo" is right on the money! This crap al..."Lo" is right on the money! This crap all started with the notorious Dr. Spock and has produced what we now have: spoiled brats!Nelsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05715337821985446358noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968059214758329257.post-23120705402113482032013-05-25T17:43:01.121-04:002013-05-25T17:43:01.121-04:00Oh, Gawd,. I love that last paragraph!
The idea (...Oh, Gawd,. I love that last paragraph!<br /><br />The idea (and the non-act) of not punishing children for wrongdoing should be punishable by flogging the parent or the effing idiot psychologist.....preferably both.<br /><br />Lohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968059214758329257.post-29968424873424270052013-05-25T15:48:07.779-04:002013-05-25T15:48:07.779-04:00I'm not above making my grandchildren explain ...I'm not above making my grandchildren explain why then have no cell phones and no social media access. They can make any excuse they wish, from my grandma is mean to I lost my privileges. One even got a handwritten birthday party invitation because she can't access facebook. Joanne Noragonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09834682329952369721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968059214758329257.post-47427933913450041702013-05-25T10:32:49.335-04:002013-05-25T10:32:49.335-04:00Excellent rule of behavior!!Excellent rule of behavior!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com